I don’t like to write this topic but I think I can share you the things that I almost do because of Love. You know if we are in love, we know how much dangerous love is and it will become worst if you will drown to the Love of the person and or to your feelings towards that person.
When I was Senior High School, I become in a relationship to the person that I know from the first place, he will ruined my Future. But before that, I do this things unexpected things that you can’t imagine that I can do it.
It was our Vacation that time and I met him by my Sister’s gay classmate. They are very sweet so I thought they have relationship to each other? You know, I’m not interested in Guys anymore since I broke up with my ex because of cheating and I don’t have trust in boys anymore. However, after meeting him, I become the Girl that I hate the most.
My looks to Love become dark at first and I thought It’s okay to play a Game? Like Become a Play girl. I challenge myself if that person will fall in love with me within that school year and I could dump him after.
But I guess, It’s become more difficult but interesting because he fall in love in our new classmate and to describe that girl, she is pretty, She is tall and who can fall in love with that girl right? But not all Every boys in the room fall in love to her because of her behavior.
Since I don’t like them both the boy and the girl, I like to ruined their Relationship but in a nice way. I don’t like to become slut duh. After a months the time that comes, I just be friend with that girl and confess my feelings to the girl who I like and that’s all. I also pretend not knowing that they are already in a relationship.
After that Time happened, I wake up nice in the morning and I am walking going to school that time and I was in the Canteen when but the boy came out of nowhere ask me if what I did tell to his girl. Because his girl is already confused if who will she choose, Me as her friend or Him? However I’m not that bad because while talking to him it’s just nothing. I do like him but my feelings are not real. I’m just playing around that’s it.
The moment that I’m drinking my Kopiko 360 degrees. I told him that I’m just playing around and I do just like to know if their feelings is real because they did not know each other for so long yet they become in a relationship already. Because I don’t understand, How it become love? I don’t understand what is true love...at all.
I told him that I want to see if the girl really likes him, she would not choose me and choose him instead and not broke up with him just because someone is stealing him to her but I guess I can smirk all that day because she saw me and him in the Canteen, talking. We are just talking and there is no Malice since I’m not laughing or smiling by him being in my side though.
So I’m guess I’m right...their feelings are not real because after a day, the girl is have another suitor which is my classmate in kinder and I’ve known him for so long because
My Mother and his mother are both mothers (commercial break)
My mother and his mother they are friends too.
By knowing that news, I will not do the same thing. I just tap his shoulder the moment I saw him in the front of the building with my cousin and smile to the Girl by looking above (because she is in Second floor).
Are you familiar with the Song of Troye Sivan’s Strawberries and Cigarettes ? That is become one of my Favorite songs because strawberry also my favorite fruit and I like foods that have a strawberries on it.
I become blind when I was with him
You know that I’m a good girl. I don’t disobey my parents and they did not also think that I will drink Liquor in a young age and I learned that because of Him. After they broke up with the Girl, he never stay away from me. We hate each other but we talk like as if we understand each other.
I don’t blame him why I become like that before because I choose that path. I experience new world and new things with him that I can’t imagine that i will do that.
Because of Him, I learned to escape from the world that I don’t want to. I remembered him saying me this words “Hoy, Alam kong gusto mo ng umalis sa Mundo mo. Gusto mong magbago? Pumasok ka sa mundo ko o ako papasok sa mundo mo?”
I know, asking me those words makes me like to think his crazy but he understand me and he is the first person that knows me well and for the first time, there is someone who can...understand me.
We scape with our friends, we drink even if I am not that high in alcohol tolerance. If ever i will drunk, he will carry and gagabayan niya ako hanggang safe ako hanggang sa papasok na daan papunta sa bahay namin.
I can’t even imagine that I have that person before. Even my friends did not know that i can change a lot because of him and I become blinded because I did not notice that I did do the things that i did not imagine.
However in our memories together, After Cigarettes, he chew my candy that He hate but still eat because it’s my favorite.
It’s true that I become in a relationship by that someone. It’s true that kiss, hugs, and even other people normal lovers do we can do that too but...
I become blinded by his love and because he is the person who can understand me, even if My friends and Family hate and don’t like him, for me... ‘I learned to fight My love that I did not even think that I will do that’.
Because he is the only person who can understand my world, even if many people says that he is cheating. I endure and believed in him because I love him.
And there is the time that the moment I almost do the worst thing for him is to give my body but I did not do that.
The dark room, his familiar scent, His looks but I realized one thing...
We both not in love to each other because I’m in love and I’m stack to my First love.
That day, I already know that he is cheating with me because of the blood stains in the bedsheet. We are in a relationship for almost 5 months and I know him for the whole Grade 11 and 12 already yet... I think and realize that we are still far away to each other.
We broke up and we think that it’s enough. We both think that we are not really for each other. Good thing that we ended our relationship with a Good terms and we are still become friends. We smiled to each other when there is a time that we bump to each other in the School ways but... we just walk pass to each other after.
Love can make you really blind and you can also become thief. Love can changed you maybe in a good or bad things in your life and I think that Love can make you suffer because it’s dangerous.
That’s why my heart is already close in falling in love. I don’t like to fall in love because i don’t believe in True love. Maybe, I can play, I can fake my feelings just enjoy the happy moment with the person who can understand what I want. Because All of my past relationship ended and have the same reason. They cheat and they lived and I’m tired of being like that.
So If you will love, choose to love yourself more than anyone else. Because the moment you learn and choose to love yourself better than them, you will not hurt.
Thanks for reading, this is my true experienced and based in my life story. This was happened 3-4 years ago. I was grade 11 and Grade 12 at that time.
What is the most worst thing that you did when you we’re blinded because of Love?
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