Mom, is our mind inside our head?
This post was triggered by a question my daughter asked over the past few weeks. The question was: “Mother, is our mind in our head?” You can guess, I had a hard time answering. “Both yes and no,” I said, saying that I did not know how to explain this right now, that I could explain it after some research. Here's what I came across while researching and thinking about how to describe it...
When I learned that the human brain is made up of a hundred billion neurons, and that each one of them is in connection with 10-15 thousand neurons, I took a moment to realize the magnitude of these numbers. This is the place to say that one can only come to the brink of understanding what a great power emerges in this connection. As a result of this electrical and chemical interaction, consciousness and self-perception are formed. In order for the human brain to have consciousness and a sense of self, it had to be inside the human body and had to be fully connected with the body. In other words, a brain that is not in the body is just a piece of meat, as you can imagine. In other words, the mind is not just the brain, it is something that exists throughout the body.
In fact, some psychologists and philosophers say that the mind extends to the tools we use. At this point, I immediately thought of the relationship we have with our computer, phone, car or appliances we use at home. Could a dynamic be working as mentioned here? Likewise, this can explain the interaction between people. We are all beings who are constantly in a relationship with each other. Therefore, while we can contribute to existence, we can also harm it with our inappropriate attitudes.
As a result of the researches, what is understood here is that the connectivity of birds with each other is the same as the connectivity established by the neurons in our brain. The interaction of the mind in life takes place through consciousness. Consciousness is the network of connectivity created by the mind's interaction with life. Therefore, based on this inference, it is deduced that the building block of life is not the atom, but information. In this case, it can be said that what we call life, existence consists of the interlacing of all information codes through connectivity and processing and producing intelligence.
Having learned this knowledge reminded me once again that each of us as individuals has a great responsibility in the formation of life. In the light of this knowledge, we can say that each of us is responsible for the situation the world is going through. There is no difference between a consciousness that fights somewhere in the world, and a consciousness that gets into a fight with a friend because he got a snowball in the face while playing in the snow, or terrorizes at home, and a consciousness that gets into a fight at work. So, isn't it our responsibility to live with the knowledge that we contribute to the intelligence produced by every choice we make for goodness through connectivity, or that we are hindered by a negative-oriented consciousness?
Things to remind yourself to not take things around you personally
No matter how hard we try to protect ourselves, sometimes we can be hurt by the negative events around us, the behavior of the people around us, or the words someone said. This may be due to our personal perception of what is happening around us. So why? Why do we take many things in life personally, even if they have nothing to do with us? Why do we act as if we were the only ones at the center of the events and everything that happened was an attack on our personality, and we give unwanted reactions?
**Why do we take it personally?**
Actually, there are many answers to this question. However, at the top of these answers comes the following: We all tend to put ourselves at the center of everything, everyone, because we are all 'subjects' with different characters, different characteristics, different habits and different backgrounds. As such, no matter how objective we try to be, at some point all the messages we receive from the outside world pass through our personal filters and our subjectivity dominates our objectivity. For this reason, we involuntarily put ourselves in the center of that thing by looking from the point where every event, conversation, situation affects us. We get hurt when someone is rude, we get upset when things don't go as planned, and when we get criticism, we doubt ourselves and take it personally, thinking we're not perfect. However, of course, when we evaluate it from a realistic point of view, we know very well that we are not at the center of most of the things that happen, happen to us, and experience in life.
To give an example; Imagine that someone you know or don't know enters the room you are in anger and starts to grumble, blowing and roaring in a rude manner. Involuntarily, "What anger, I don't deserve to be treated like this!" You may feel under attack with such thoughts, take your guard against this person, or you may respond with a similar attitude, get angry or upset. However, the other party may be angry at something else and may be expressing this anger in some way. You, on the other hand, may just be left with the burden of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Of course, this does not justify the rude behavior of the other party, but seeing ourselves as if we are at the center of this event and wasting our mental energy causes us to put an unnecessary emotional burden on our backs. We see what's going on around us from the perspective of how it affects us, and we evaluate it that way. The anger of others makes us angry, the disrespectful behavior of others makes us feel worthless, the unhappiness of others makes us unhappy.
**What should you do in order not to take the events around you personally?**
So, what perspective should you have so as not to take everything happening around you personally? Other people's reactions, attitudes, words or actions are mostly not about you, but their own perspectives, past experiences, and resentments. The reason why someone treats you like the best person or the worst person in the world actually depends on how the person sees the world at a certain time, not you. Of course, that doesn't mean you should ignore all the feedback you get from people around you. What you need to do is to re-evaluate the emotional pain, disappointments and sorrows caused by the tendency to take things personally, with a realistic perspective. For this, you basically have to leave behind the thoughts and behaviors of others and follow your own instincts and experiences. However, achieving this is not always as easy as it seems. Here are some things you should remind yourself not to take things personally:
**1. Keep your calm**
Thinking that everything that happens around you is somehow related to you can make you feel as if you are under constant threat and attack. The human mind tends to constantly focus on details that pose a vital risk in everything that happens in the environment, even if there is no real danger around. For example, if a passing car suddenly honks, your subconscious mind immediately transmits the message that that car will hit you and therefore honks the horn next to you, and tries to protect you against a possible danger. Therefore, it is extremely important that you calm down before reacting by constantly reminding yourself that when something happens around you that will cause you to panic and worry, it may not be about you.
**2. Make a good distinction between what you can control and what you can't**
While most events seem personal, people often do things because of themselves, not because of you. In order to mask their own anger, their own weakness, their own dissatisfaction, or their own unhappiness, they may try to lighten their emotional burden by entering the victim mentality by placing the responsibility on others, even if they have nothing to do with you or anyone else. Yes, you may not be able to control what other people say and do. However, you can control yourself and stop suppressing your own soul because of the other person's words or actions.
**3. Believe in the power of your free will**
It is only your choice to follow your own path, regardless of being under the influence of other people's thoughts and behaviors. With the choices you make using your free will, you can save yourself from being dependent on the outside, and you can liberate yourself by keeping yourself out of the events. Therefore, constantly remind yourself of the power of free will that you have just because you are human. How people treat you is their problem; How you react to their behavior is your problem.
**4. Empathize with the circumstances**
People often act that way, not consciously, but because circumstances require it that way at the moment. Some difficulties that we encounter in daily life, such as family troubles, health problems and relational problems, may cause the people around you to be overly sensitive, to give unwanted reactions, and to approach you with an attitude that is hurtful, sad, and makes you feel bad. Think about your own life: Do you feel the same as a day when you have a serious problem and days when you have no problems? Do you feel equally tolerant every day in your attitude and behavior towards people? When you empathize a little and remind yourself that the situation you are experiencing may be related to the circumstances as well as to you, you will realize that you are moving away from taking everything personally.
**5. Recognize that you don't have to get along well with everyone**
You cannot control how people get energy from you. How the other person understands you is related to his/her own schemas and personality traits that have developed with their experiences to date. We all have different wants and needs. Therefore, instead of being crushed by unrealistic expectations such as being on the same page with every person who comes into your life in some way, be aware that it has nothing to do with you not being in the same spot with these people.
**6. Take constructive criticism seriously, but don't take it personally**
If you pay a little attention, you can easily notice that most of the people around you criticize some of your behaviors, the way you do business or what you say, not you. Of course, all your attitudes and actions may carry signals about your personality. However, be aware that most of the time, you may perceive criticism from others as an attack on your personality, even if it is constructive. Most of the criticisms you receive may not be about your character or existential traits, but about what you do, what you have or what you don't have. Calculate what you hear from others and what's in your heart, and decide which one is correct based on how true it is.
**7. Observe how people relate to themselves**
The decisions most of us make, the way we communicate with people or how we relate to them are shaped by our parents and people in our immediate environment in the early stages. The schemas that determine the dynamics of our future relationships are closely linked to how we relate to ourselves and how safe we see the world as a place. Therefore, if you begin to see people's behavior as an indicator of their relationships and past experiences, you will take things less personally.
Our personality and self are our most valuable treasures that make us who we are. It is our most basic and most human instinct to protect our ego from possible attacks by protecting our borders and showing the necessary reactions to people where necessary. But keep in mind that more than 8 billion people on earth have the same instinct as you, and that their own interests and those of other people do not always meet on common ground while trying to realize their own potential.
Why doesn't comparison bring us happiness?
We human minds have wonderful features that set them apart from other species. The ability to think is the most powerful skill we have been given, but the results we get change depending on how we use this power. While human beings can travel to the past and the future, dream, analyze, compare, boast of being alive, they are actually creatures that can set great traps for themselves thanks to the same characteristics.
One of these pitfalls is benchmarking. Although we experience ourselves as a content, we know what goes through our minds, our feelings, our thoughts, our intentions. However, we never have the opportunity to access all the content of the people we interact with, under any circumstances.
At a seminar I attended, one of the speakers made a small suggestion: “Don't compare yourself to the outside of others!”
What a powerful word! Since the only interior we can know is ourselves as far as we know, all the comparisons we make are wrong not only in terms of our spirit world but also logically. Is it possible to compare two things that are not in the same category to give a correct and useful solution?
Yet there must be a reason why we keep doing this consistently. What could be the things that serve this?
The absence of an objective measure of our happiness may lead people to understand their happiness by comparing them with others.
Those who are better than others, who have more than others, succeed in surviving. Therefore, comparison and jealousy arise.
Factors such as external factors and social media constantly trigger our comparison urge. Our mind transforms the data we collect from the virtual world, where others live wonderful lives, to the idea that we are "missing".
Whatever the reason may be, comparison will inevitably lose in the end, because we not only depend on others but also leave our happiness in the hands of guesswork. The satisfaction we derive from looking at those who are worse off than us is also very temporary, because there will always be those who are, or seem, better off than us. Comparison takes us away from our own nature, from our inner peace. It also prevents us from understanding, accepting and developing ourselves. We become unable to determine our direction.
If you want to understand yourself, would you compare with someone else? Can you understand anything by comparison? Do you understand an oil painting by comparing it to another painting, or by being fully aware of that painting?”
Yes, you have to admit. We are human and we have such a side. Perhaps, despite everything, a part of us will continue the habit of comparison. The little fairy of envy will keep whispering softly in our ear, trying to lure us into traps. But without excluding its existence, without suppressing it, we can still be aware of our negative emotions as well as positive ones and still retain control. In this case, at least we will have a better chance of recognizing and noticing the whole picture.
The real power lies in accepting its fragility
When I was younger, I didn't know how to ask for support. I always wore my strong, invulnerable mask with the perception that I had to be good. That's why I was always distant. I wouldn't tell anyone that I was hurt, that I wasn't feeling well.
This trend did not change much when the little girl started to grow up. While I was trying to make others feel good, there were many years that I couldn't be at home for. In many trainings, my teachers were supposed to understand things that I understood, but it was not easy to integrate them into life.
When it came to relationships, I was the one who gave a lot but couldn't get it or didn't know how to ask for it. It's funny, but I remember very well when I whined, "He won't give it to me". You know why it's funny? Because I honestly didn't have the courage to speak out what I felt, I only knew how to whine to myself.
Years ago, there was someone I loved very much, and at the end of the day, my love and trust were so shaken that I was very angry for a long time. I kept telling everyone around me how right I was and how wrong he was. Because that's how I learned, when a relationship is over, one side must always be right. I was unaware of the weight I was carrying on my back.
I was angry because I was hurting. On the one hand, I wanted the confirmation of my rightness, on the other hand, I kept pulling on what was still not there, and I did not want to let go. My attitude towards life has always been about holding on. I thought that if something wasn't "mine", I could do it by holding on, pulling here and there. And I thought that if I did my best, if I kept tugging, everything would be as it was before. It was then that I experienced one of the deepest awakenings of my life. Actually, I didn't want to pull anything, I was just trying to choose to stay in this familiar and actually disliked comfort zone. Because out of comfort, they were uncomfortable feelings.
Years later, I realized: Everyone in my life, everyone who came into my life in some way did everything they could, with some of them the paths diverged, with some they did not, some hurt my heart a lot, it did not go well, some made me happy. In other words, if a person gives up the obstinacy of looking at his life from his own perspective and is willing to really see the person in front of him, there is no anger, the love in the middle grows. Because true love was hidden in the intention to see the truth of the other person.
Why is this apple yellow, why is this apple green, why is this apple red? Why are the branches of this tree longer and the other shorter? Is anyone guilty now? Is anyone really guilty?
Everyone who enters our lives actually enters to show and teach something. With some, the unity of the path continues until that teaching is over, with some, the unity of the path does not end even if the teaching ends. In other words, the big life always sends us a guide, sometimes the easy way, sometimes the hard way, so that we can learn something.
I say with all my heart that whoever you are angry with or feel offended with right now, know that that person has done and is doing everything he can. But that's all he can do. Teaching, orientation, wounds coming from the family… That can be all. It is none other than you waiting for the coffee in the coffee cup to become tea!
You did your best, you do. But that's all you can do.
Is anyone really guilty?
For a long time in my life, I thought the real strength was not asking for support.
However, real power is directly proportional to being able to see what is happening with courage and speak with kindness and approaching our own fragility and humanity.
The real power lies not in pointing the index finger out all the time, but in looking at oneself gracefully.
The real power was in being able to see and heal our own wounds, no matter where we started the story.
When we can do this, our vulnerability becomes the birthplace of our true strength!
The benefit of speaking less and listening more for strong communication
Observe your surroundings while dining in a crowded restaurant one day; Are people really listening to each other, or are they waiting their turn to talk? Most people focus on not listening to the contradictory statements of others and opposing them directly on issues they think are right. However, one of the most important reasons why we experience problems in business life, at home and in society is to communicate “wrong”. At this point, one of the communication mistakes we repeat most frequently is to occupy our minds by making plans about what we are going to say instead of listening and understanding the other person carefully and focusedly, and as a result, evaluating what is told only from our own perspective.
**Why do we listen less?**
The act of listening, which is one of the requirements of a healthy communication and requires the use of many mental skills, covers about 60 percent of the time spent on communication. The fact that we started to record sounds, first with text, then with audio and now with video, caused us to completely lose the value of accurate and careful listening, and it still does.
Another reason we lose our ability to listen is because the world is such a noisy place. Nowadays, it has become very difficult and tiring for us to perform the act of listening visually and audibly when there is a continuous noise in the background. Many people now live with earplugs in their ears. And as a result, no one listens to anyone. Although the solutions offered by a famous specialist to improve speaking and listening skills are the subject of another article, for those who want to listen:
**Why is it important to talk less to be a good listener?**
Have you ever wondered why you are so eager to convey your own thoughts, but lack a similar level of motivation to listen? Imagine that your mind is a full-blown modem and cannot transmit data from outside to inside or from inside to outside. Things you can do to fix the problem is to turn the modem off and then back on, or disconnect your computer from the modem and reconnect. Going by this analogy, one of the most important reasons why we prefer to speak rather than listen is that allowing more data input while our mind is already full risks overloading our brain's circuits, forgetting what we are trying to remember, and worse, not being able to use the functions necessary for speaking.
In essence, listening is a sensory function, and when the sensory load of our mind is too high, we are less able to use our other senses, which are essential for our survival. This can make us feel insecure when we listen carefully. On the other hand, speaking is a motor function, and once we pass the first 20 seconds of sharing information, we are able to empty our minds through speaking, relieve stress, and make more room for more data. The problem is that when we go beyond those first 20 seconds, we have talked more than our share and we are unloading what we define as a burden in our minds onto someone else's mind. And the overload of the mind with the other party listening ultimately causes no one to listen to anyone else and everyone waits eagerly for their turn to talk.
**Benefits of talking less and listening more**
Talking less and listening more in interpersonal communication has a lot of benefits for our relationships. In a world where everyone prefers to talk rather than listen, being a listener can allow other people to enjoy talking to you more and to share more deeply with you. Also, keeping your listening muscle strong can help you better read non-verbal cues such as body language over time, help others be more open to your point of view when you speak, and learn new things. Talking less and listening more also:
**1. It allows you to better understand what the other person is saying**
When someone is talking to you and telling you something, you usually hear what you want to hear and not focus on what the person really wants to say. Instead of just hearing the other person's words, try to understand them. Notice what he is trying to convey, the emphasis he makes. Maybe there is a subtext in the things you can't "see" and some points are "underlined". Listen, hear and understand.
**2. Gives you room to think before you speak**
Putting in long listening times before speaking to someone gives you an idea of how you should communicate with the other person. Before you filter what the other person is saying, focus on what they really want to say and give your answer accordingly. In this way, you will not say things that you will regret, you will give the answer that really needs to be given.
**3. Helps you speak concisely**
Sometimes you ask a person something, and that person will tell you almost everything except the answer you expected. Think about how much this situation bothers you. When you talk less and listen more, every word comes out with a purpose, so there is no room for confusion and misunderstanding.
Another issue; If you want your ideas to have an impact on the other person, it is very important that you choose your words carefully. Try to explain yourself as clearly as possible. Say what's really on your mind, without bullshit, and don't use rude words at this time. Raising the pulse of speech is never the right method.
**4. Allows you to internalize everything you need to know before making a judgment**
If you spend more time listening than talking, over time you will begin to understand and interpret what is being said to you much better. You learn to approach the issues objectively, which allows you to communicate much more successfully. Imagine you are in a meeting and everyone is arguing about a specific topic. In such a situation, listening to all of the different ideas will help you make a much more accurate and result-oriented decision.
**5. Teaches respect for other people's opinions**
It is very difficult and hurtful to open your thoughts and heart to someone and hit a huge wall. Even if what you say and what you are trying to say is not accepted by someone else, listening and trying to be understood makes you feel much more valuable. Likewise, trying to better understand what the other person is trying to convey makes the time you spend communicating much more valuable, because at that point a real exchange of ideas comes into play.
**6. It gives you the opportunity to get to know the person in front of you better**
Finally, although we can easily reach everyone with the development of technology in the current period, it has become more difficult to establish a real communication. We know everything from what the people around us eat, what they wear, what the house they live in looks like, and even what they are doing at that moment. But we don't know much about how that person really feels, their ideas, and their perspective.
“Real” communication is essential to really getting to know someone. Real communication also requires “listening, understanding and analyzing”. Before you apply all these while chatting with someone you just met, you can start to apply them in your communications with people who already exist in your life but whom you think you don't listen to enough and don't take the time to listen.
Getting old is good: On getting older
Get old. The nightmare of our time. Let's list the first things that come to mind: osteoporosis, tiredness of the body faster, our heads can't handle those crowds anymore, then being able to climb the stairs we always climb in a flash with breathlessness, feeling strange when we go to places where young people go, "Aren't you a little old for this job?" Perhaps to hear the word “Are you not old enough?” when we want to finish a new university. get your comment… Yes, getting old is our topic today. I would like to express aging differently in this article.
That's why I'm not going to write about getting old, so I want to describe it as getting old, deserving another age, being aware of another age, reaching the beauty of another age. You know, like aged wines, which have been subjected to a long distillation process and purified as they are distilled… This important process, which I will refer to as maturing as you get older, distillation…
So why are our eyes so afraid of shed tears? We can count many different factors in this regard, but the simplest reason is what we have been taught. Because as one gets older, one cannot do anything, because as one gets older, one becomes lonely, because the older one gets, the more sick one gets. So, what is the experience of years that we can't buy with money? So, how can we measure a life that we cannot value in any unit of value in the world? But what is the scale of raising a human being and adding such an invaluable value to life?
I would like to talk about another work that I had the opportunity to read this week. Cicero, in his work On Aging (it is accepted that he wrote this work when he was sixty-two years old), conveys his similar feelings about aging and aging:
“(…) I don't know, but it seems to me that usually, when a person takes his enthusiasm from everything, he also takes it from life. Children have their own whims; Do young people miss them? Newbies also have ambitions, are they sought after in the age called middle age? This age also has whims and old people do not seek them. The whims of old age are the last whims. Like the previous ones, they come and go, and then being satiated with life indicates that the time of death has come.
(…) Scipio, you and Laelius said that you and Laelius were always puzzled, how is it that old age does not weigh heavily on me, and that it is not only sad but also sweet; here are the reasons; Even if I'm wrong to believe that the human soul is immortal, it's a sweet illusion, and I don't want this illusion to be snatched away from me as I live. Nor am I afraid that dead philosophers will make fun of me for being wrong, even if I will hear nothing after death, as some worthless philosophers think. Although we will not be immortal, it is still desirable for a person to pass away when the time comes. Because, like everything else, nature has set a limit to living. Old age is the last curtain of life; We should avoid getting tired of old age just as we avoid a game from taming us, especially if we are full of life.”
Just as birth is a flow of being human, in fact, aging is a part of the same naturalness. We are afraid of getting old, we see it as the countdown of our time in the world... What if it is not like this, or if it is the most important part of the preparation process to move to a different dimension, or if it is not as fearful as we have been taught... What if getting old is maturing, natural, natural. If it's beautiful like all the other things that come...
Why do we feel better when spring comes?
Spring is a waiting that has been the subject of songs. We look forward to his coming, we hope for his help, as if we know that he is giving us something good news. Spring is the harbinger of abundance, warmth, light and joy. With plenty of sunlight, flying butterflies, blooming flowers, fragrant fruits and chirping colors, there is a state of renewal that spring creates in us. If you ask me, there is a word that represents spring: Hope.
So, how do changes occur in our bodies with the arrival of spring and why do we feel better when spring comes?
The answer is hidden in serotonin. Serotonin, also known as the happiness hormone, is a neurotransmitter that makes a person feel alive, fit and good. It is found in the central nervous system, gastrointestinal tract mucosa (the largest serotonin producer) and blood platelets in the body. Serotonin is synthesized from the essential amino acid tryptophan, which is found in foods such as bananas, pineapple, plums, turkey and milk. In addition to body parts such as the brain, intestines, platelets, serotonin is also present in human skin tissue. This is closely related to the effect of the arrival of spring on us.
There are many studies showing that the release of serotonin in the body is related to sunlight. In a study by Lambert et al., it was found that the lowest levels of serotonin in blood samples taken from participants for 12 months were observed in samples taken during the winter season. In other studies, it has been observed that psychiatric phenomena such as mood disorders, anxiety, and suicide are associated with seasonal changes, and they can exacerbate especially in winter when the light is less. These studies point to the importance of sunlight directly stimulating the production of serotonin through the skin.
In the light of all this information, we can reconcile the positive effect of the arrival of spring on us. It feels good to produce more serotonin through our retina and skin, thanks to increased sunlight and warming of the air. So, what other secrets can make us feel good with the arrival of spring?
At the beginning of the article, I said that the word that best expresses spring is hope. In ancient cultures, the arrival of spring is greeted with enthusiastic celebrations. In the past, since the fruits and vegetables that we can reach today for 4 seasons are only eaten on time, people also turn inward and patiently wait for the abundance to show itself again in the period when nature is closed. Confident that abundance and diversity would come, perhaps she would have patiently weathered the harsh winter conditions. Because he never doubted that the hard days would be left behind and that the end of patience would be salvation. It is the hyacinth that blooms tirelessly every spring that gives it this certainty.
Nature is in a cycle where even the most beautiful or the most difficult conditions are temporary, from time to time introversion leads to abundance, hard conditions are needed for seeds to crack, the end of patience is salvation, hope must always be, whatever one's potential is, take steps to realize it without giving up. He shows us every year without getting tired of the fact that the end of spring is spring. Could there be a wiser, better teacher for the one who can see?
What does it mean to travel in dreams?
We all have symbols that we see often in our dreams. Apart from this, there may be symbols that we see in common. For example, vehicles related to traveling, such as journeys…
Seeing ourselves in a journey is one of the important signs. Especially if we have an intention, it can tell us what we do in our lives with that intention and what we should do in this direction. Details such as which vehicle we are traveling with, if it is a car, who drives the car, who owns the car, your journey comfort in larger vehicles, your feelings, the condition of the road, the weather conditions, your companions on the road, whether the journey ends or not are important. We must examine all these questions and analyze the answers by expanding them. A dream can have more than one answer.
We should not ignore that we are not moving forward with that intention, stopping before completing the road, that we are stopping ourselves, and in such cases, maybe we need to stop. Accidents and disruptions during the journey should be analyzed in proportion to the emotions we experienced at that time.
It should also be considered that sudden accidents may be related to our impulses. During journeys, details such as departure, departure time, reason/destination, arrival time should also be considered. If it is a place you have never been to, you should look at the features of that place. If it is a place that has been visited before, the memories and remarkable features of that place should be noted and detailed.
Trying to reach and reach somewhere is also a very common dream. It is important whether the place you are trying to reach is familiar or not. While examining the experiences in a familiar place, we can understand that we are trying to progress in unfamiliar places in unfamiliar areas.
The golden rules of making effective and constructive criticism
Most of us agree that what is said is much more important than how it is said. However, no matter how much we pay attention to this issue, we can feel that we are walking on thin and fragile ice when it comes to criticism. Let's face it, it can be difficult to give or receive criticism no matter how it's done.
Just because we're in a position to criticize someone doesn't mean we're the greatest people in the world or that we've never made mistakes. While criticizing, we must try to empathize with the other party, stay within the framework of respect, choose our sentences carefully without allowing misunderstandings, anger and resentment, and learn to criticize without offending the person in front of us.
Constructive criticism, which allows better results when presented correctly, can also be used to provide motivation, strengthen relationships, and contribute to development. Here are the rules for making effective and constructive criticism to help you with this:
**Get to know yourself and the person you criticize well**
If the person in front of you has any deficiencies in a subject and you do not see yourself as competent in this area, it may be good to avoid criticism. In addition, when criticizing, you should consider the knowledge of the person in front of you and his/her competence in the subject you are criticizing. Otherwise, you may get into unwanted discussions and face situations that you cannot get out of.
**Focus on situations, not people**
Perhaps one of the most common mistakes and/or overlooked details in criticism is to target the person being criticized instead of focusing on the relevant issue. When you start to criticize, make sure that you do not unwittingly attack the other person as you give feedback on the situation. This can help prevent the other person from feeling potentially attacked.
**Choose the right time**
“Timing” is a very important criterion in making criticism, as it is in many areas of life. Acting too early or being too late can undermine the value of your criticism and negatively affect the other person's performance or your relationship. For example, making destructive criticisms of a project that is still in development process from the very beginning or giving feedback in a way that may demoralize your colleague before an important presentation can have negative results both individually and institutionally. Therefore, you should strive to give your feedback at the right time.
**Be open and clear**
Trying to show that you are criticizing indirectly while criticizing someone can both cause misunderstandings and prevent the message you want to give from reaching its place. Therefore, when making criticisms, use a clear language and do not compromise your honesty; so that you do not damage your dignity.
**Prefer one-on-one conversations**
It is very important that you create a suitable conversation environment with the person you are talking about, especially when you criticize work-related issues. Criticisms you make in public, during a meeting or in a crowded social environment can cause misunderstanding. And even if your intention is to be more moderate and make constructive criticism, it can create a negative atmosphere because you are not speaking one-on-one.
**Make sure to use 'I' language.**
You can establish a more constructive dialogue if you try to use the phrase "I" instead of you, so that your speech does not turn into an accusatory, judgmental or offensive form while criticizing. “Why did you do that here?” or "Your attitude is very disturbing...", you can use sentences such as "I would prefer this way..." or "It made me feel that way...". The I language is a point to be considered not only when criticizing, but also when communicating in bilateral relations.
**Keep your calm**
People watching an ordinary street fight may be on the side of shouting and trying to get to the top. However, a real critic criticizes by giving importance to the opinions of the person in front of him, using effective listening techniques and maintaining his calm attitude to the end.
**Take advantage of the sandwich method**
If you haven't heard of the "sandwich method" before, we can say that it is a useful and effective technique that you can use in many areas. In this technique, which has a similar meaning to its name, when criticizing someone, it is recommended to first give positive feedback and then give feedback that can be improved. For example, you can tell a coworker that you are very good at customer relations, add that they can improve their presentation in meetings, and shape your speech by the fact that you are very excited to see progress. Thus, your criticism is "sandwiched" between two positives, making it seem less harsh.
**Dialogue, not monologue**
Criticizing does not mean that you will speak alone and the other person will only listen to you. If you want your criticism to be constructive, it is imperative that you have a healthy communication with the person in front of you.
**Don't lose your professional approach**
When criticizing, you should pay attention not to overdo it and to know where you will stand. As in all matters, too much criticism can start to repel people after a while. Try to protect your boundaries, respect the other person and not lose your professionalism, especially when criticizing work-related issues. When criticizing someone, instead of humiliating the other person by pointing out the deficiencies, try to give tips on how to eliminate these deficiencies based on your experience and knowledge.
**Important note: Don't make criticism a habit.**
All people living on Earth are different and unique. People's opinions are not about how things happened, but how they are perceived by individuals. That's why you shouldn't expect anyone to think like you. Being critical of everyone can negatively affect your relationships. While taking care to criticize in the right and necessary places, try to be in the mode of criticism constantly.
The imposition of happiness We cannot be happy all the time because..
Although we impose being constantly happy on social media, our environment or ourselves, perhaps the only word that the state of happiness does not come close to is continuity. No one can be in the feeling of happiness all the time. The events we experience in our lives, our expectations, feelings and desires may not always be what we want.
However, even when you are free from all expectations, the events you encounter may be perceived as stress by the brain. You may be bored, sad or worried. Perhaps the most beautiful aspect that distinguishes humans from other living things is their feelings, reactions and thoughts. For this reason, the happiness pictures you see around you actually belong to a moment. One second later, no one can know another's mood, insides, or feelings.
The frames you see on social media, the videos you watch, or even the closest people you spend time with may seem happy but may actually be in a very different mood.
So don't compare! Your happiness or your unhappiness… You don't have to be as happy as your best friend, or going to the places your next-door neighbor goes doesn't have to give you the same satisfaction. The life of the people we see outside is not a suitable garment for us. There is a phrase that I hear often among the people, but that contains too much prejudice and negative energy: "Life is good for you." This sentence is one of the most empathetic expressions that make the other person feel like the most carefree, carefree and happy person in the world, by beating himself up, acting as if he is experiencing all the hardships of the world himself.
However, happiness is a personal concept. It includes your circumstances, your feelings, your facts. The concept of happiness for others is very different from what you seek for happiness. While being rich is a prerequisite for some, having a large family is for others. For this reason, social media or the lives or situations in your environment that you envy may not be the cause of happiness for others. People you think are happy can pretend to be happy. What matters is how happy you are with what you have.
High standards: what if you are stealing from your life to be efficient and productive
Being a busy person who is an expert in different fields, who can also maintain good relations, who is successful in many areas of life, who looks good, uses his time efficiently and is productive is the point most of us want to reach in life.
Do you ever feel that you have difficulty trying to keep up with everything, put too much effort into maintaining the perfect order, and then criticize yourself harshly in a situation that doesn't go the way you want in the end?
You may be thinking that while we excel in every role we take on (parent, job, relationships, hobbies), we also need to be balanced and happy because productivity and success require them. Although being a busy person with busy plans is perceived as a status sign and something to be proud of in the researches on productivity and efficiency, they found that people who are obsessed with productivity and efficiency feel regret in the long run and cannot relax because they feel guilty even during vacation times. They revealed that the psychological pressure created by this situation reduces productivity, productivity and creativity and puts people in a vicious circle.
Why do people strive for efficiency and productivity to such an extent that they put pressure on them? The answer to this question actually lies in what we call high standards in schema therapy language. If we received love in return for being successful, if we were criticized for not meeting expectations, if our parents set a model with high standards, or we may have set ourselves a goal of “perfect” as a compensation for feelings such as inadequacy, worthlessness and loneliness in our lives. Regardless of the underlying cause, the high standards we set for ourselves and the obsession with being productive can lead us to a state of chronic anger and depression over time, leaving us alone with emotional pressure. Physical problems may arise due to intense stress.
There is only one reason why you cannot do everything perfectly, because we are human. There are certain limitations in the nature of being human, and most importantly, human is not an infinite substance with energy consisting only of flesh and bone. While efficiency forces us to progress in the material field in life, human beings cannot exist independently of their emotions. Being emotionally well is possible by reducing the pressure on us and accepting the most basic truth. The most basic truth is that you are a human being.
The first step to freeing yourself from the pressure of high standards is to discover the areas where you create this pressure for yourself and its origins. You can try to make it more balanced by measuring the time you spend being productive and productive. We can start looking for ways to add that emotion to our lives, if all this time is actually to compensate for the lack of emotion. Imagine what your life would be like when the pressure in your life was relieved.
When we seek balance, not perfection, it will be possible to feel good and achieve success at the same time.
Expressing yourself: Invite the energy of the "One" into your life
If you are bored, heartbroken and confused these days, you can turn to realize the creativity within you as a fundamental power, with the energy of beauty and creativity. It's time to start perceiving your energy potential from your cells, which will realize your uniqueness without restrictions...
With a deep transformation, you can connect to the "one" and listen to your inner desires if there is something you want to change in your life. Your emotions arise to show you how you truly feel about your life and where you need to go next. Your job is to make the changes you need. It's okay to love yourself, for your uniqueness, not for your outward appearance, the way others perceive you, and take action because your DNA codes that are listening to you right now are awakening within you.
The energy of creativity within you supports being a highly creative person because through its interaction it strengthens working in your own way, often alone. It unleashes inner, creative intuitions that can have a rewarding share when applied in areas such as family, career, dreams, art, music or sports…
It doesn't matter much if it is defined or undefined in your map. If it is defined, you will have access to a limited number of creativity that you will discover in a unique way, while when it is undefined, you will have access to an infinite and unlimited creativity. As long as your awareness comes from your cells, not from your mind.
Making money through creative ventures with the energy of the "One" is certainly gratifying, but using creativity for financial gain only dulls inner sensitivities. The most important aspect of creativity should not necessarily be the rewards or gains it brings, but the action itself. You get the financial rewards you deserve when you realize new ways to express yourself and empower others to gain new perspectives on the world or think about new ways of being.
Don't be afraid to push your limits and find forms of expression that explore new ground and make new breakthroughs. We are now supported by the entire universe to activate creativity that goes beyond the tried-and-true. Expressing yourself with a unique creativity and self-motivated motivation is very valuable these days.
You may find that you perform at your best when you always step out of the way and allow your skills and natural intuition to express yourself. Never underestimate the creative contribution you can bring to any project or venture. Your creativity inspires others by example, and this needs to be seen or heard before your influence can be properly felt.
Again, realize that you are going through a wonderful time to go for a walk in nature and enjoy the beauty around you while illuminating the new within you as the energy of the “one” shifts towards your inner world with the energy of beauty and creativity. This is a great time to find deep thought and emotional balance. Find your desires for what you desire to focus on what you want to create and open yourself to living it, open to a bright new future. A new cycle begins.
A new cycle is developing in how each of us expresses himself in a new way of life. If there are storms inside you, if you are bored with what you are doing, if you have trouble understanding people, listen to your cells that warn you to go beyond what is always the same. Your cells will shed light on what to create, because creating is new and unique, starting a whole new journey beyond habit and everything. Every innovation starts with every person understanding himself. Understanding yourself is to listen to the voice of the cells.
Stay with love…
Transformation: dividing from one side and uniting from the other
It's like a postpartum period, or a cloud that has started to gather snow… Standing where it stands, concentrating itself towards itself, saturating, filling, nourishing but still…
What I feel these days is a very slow progressing process, as if tiny steps taken from the knuckle of a spiral to the upward slope… The transition, the transformation has begun. It didn't seem like it started in such a moment, but the preparations were completed until now, now it seems like we are slowly passing through the main door.
As we pass through the main door, we change a little bit of form and a little bit of structure, as if passing through a sieve, our fine threads are separated, and behind the door they are knitted in a different way than we are used to. The pattern of our whole is not Thessaloniki anymore, but harosha...
It's like the same material, but with a schematic shape, different thickness and effect. The places where it will be used, its location, its location are different.
The meanings of our words, the spirits of our words are different. This is not the world we know. This is the world of visions that we think we are imagining, but are actually conveyed to us through dreams from time to time… It is so different from our dreams!
Not better or worse, another.
The mind, which interprets the dream, attributes what it does not know to the highest version of what it knows, whereas what happens is made up of what it does not know, but intelligible when the mind is attuned to what it does not know. Such an alterity, therefore both familiar and not understood.
We are filling up.
We are not filling towards our former self, but towards the unknown. Even though the questions will be the same (?), we are getting to where the answers will be involuntarily different.
Maybe those who are saying that giving up control, surrendering to what is, trusting the flow, are right here, right now, so that our strands don't break when they separate? It is not for the purpose of living life more happily, but to avoid causing ruptures and disappearances in transitions?
To slow down, to have calm minds, to calm down, maybe not to "worry" during this "filling", to be able to look at what has changed with serenity?
Say what?
On the one hand we diverge, on the other we unite, into other forms, into other shapes.
To voices without words...
Now is the time to apply our mastery, which we have developed to feel without trying to define, to observe without judging or trying to make sense of, and to know ourselves, over life and the whole system. Sitting and watching as an open-ended enneagram…
An epic that will flow from hearts to hearts, an open secret.
An epic for those who can read the heart, a secret for those who can't...
Healing is not a straight path: stop trying so transformation can happen
Things have been happening so fast lately that maybe I'm writing the same thing all the time, but there's no time to really feel! The agenda is always tiring and so are our own personal agendas! We spend our time longing for sunny days in our hearts, always procrastinating or trying to change things stubbornly and forcefully! We don't feel well, so we tire ourselves the most by ignoring or pursuing different studies!
Healing cannot be found by looking for it! Life's greatest healing actually begins when we realize that healing is not a straight line! A person wants to ignore the news that they don't like, to change it by pressing a button, or to become "healed" after going through this situation with fast motion. But real life experience starts right here, right now!
In the past, whenever there were dark clouds in my life, I used to say, "Let this pass, it's over, I'll do this, I'll go here". I've learned that we can change not events that happen, but our reactions to them. It's easy to write, but friends, I'm sure you know it's not like that when it comes to real experience.
The biggest paradox of us city people lies in our efforts to change and transform almost everything. However, in the journey of a caterpillar to become a butterfly or a flower to bloom, there is flow, not effort, and we call this change/transformation. Transformation takes place from the main thing to surrender and the transition to acceptance that makes us dizzy.
The caterpillar does not try to become a butterfly before its time, and after becoming a butterfly, it lives the short time given to it with all its colors.
When it comes to us, we think that our effort to transform everything will really bring transformation. However, real transformation emerges not from effort, but from that deep-rooted relationship we establish with what is.
Just like in yoga classes, when students try to move from pose to pose by holding their breath and squeezing their faces, the same effort to push the non-transforming/non-flowing states begins. We always say that the yoga mat is the best guide to show your mood. In my own personal world, I stopped saying that whenever the weather gets better, I will get over this problem, I will do this, I did whatever I wanted to do by including those dark clouds, life showed that there is a way to cover all my hurts and wounds. I covered my dark clouds, they covered me…
We think that healing is a straight road. But when did our human condition become so simple? Healing is hidden in continuing to walk the path despite the changing brutality of being human. Because as we walk, we develop the practice of coverage.
Practice of the day: Whatever you said, "Let's fix this, let me do this", how about doing any of them you can do today?
Why are other people important?
Have you ever thought why other people matter? Have you ever wondered why we need them or why we want to communicate, interact? Do you think the reason for the bond you establish with people is a possible fear of loneliness, the desire to socialize, love or all of them? Do you remember the 75-year-old happiness research conducted at Harvard University on this subject, which has been the subject of curiosity of many researchers and various scientific articles have been written on it? The research reveals the secret of a happy life and shows that the most important determinant of good aging—that is, maintaining physical, mental and mental health and maintaining life satisfaction even in the 70s—is neither cholesterol level, endurance on the treadmill, money earned, nor intelligence level. According to the study, the most important factor is our close relationships with people. The research is summed up in this simple sentence: “The most important thing in your life is your relationships with other people.” However, this is not all about why other people are important to us. Many studies point out that our relationships with other people are of great importance for physical and mental health and personal growth, as well as happiness in life.
Chris Peterson, one of the founders of the science of positive psychology, also conducts many researches on this subject and continues his studies by focusing on our social relations, which make our lives valuable until we die, add meaning to every moment and make us whole. Peterson's work points out that we can make activities that can be done alone more enjoyable when we do them with other people. In addition, his works also show that emotions such as gratitude and appreciation arise as a result of our relationships with other people. On the other hand, many different studies have asked “Why are other people important?” It sheds light on the question from different angles. Here's why our relationships with other people are important and what they add to our lives:
**Being with other people improves your health**
Many studies point out that not spending time with other people, that is, lack of social networks, is a major source of stress; Loneliness causes the level of cortisol, which is the stress hormone, to increase and therefore causes various diseases to occur. Spending time with people and giving importance to social relations helps to improve both mental and physical health. A study from the 70s points out that people with weaker social networks die younger than people with larger social networks. Therefore, spending time with other people is essential to improve holistic health.
**Improves your brain functions**
There is a lot of research showing that our brains actually work better when we interact with others and live together. A 2015 study notes that social interaction is among the most complex functions humans perform. Also, another study on child development states that children learn better when they interact with others rather than just observing. As can be understood from this result, social relations from a young age support brain development.
**Sociality is one of the basic needs of being human**
Psychology draws attention to the natural need to be social in human nature, to belong to a place, to a group. Many studies show that people continue to establish social bonds and maintain existing relationships, regardless of the circumstances, rather than being alone. Most people avoid breaking their ties despite negative situations.
**It enriches your perspective**
"Thousands known career consulting someone who knows." You must have heard the word. Exchanging ideas and learning the thoughts of the people around you can both change your approach to a specific issue and enrich your worldview. Finding people around you that you can get ideas from and joining groups where you can discuss different topics can help you deepen your perspective.
**Supports your personal development**
Your friends who share your troubles, your family who always stands behind you, your partner with whom you have a pleasant time… What about your colleague whom you could not meet on a common ground, or your manager who only contacted you to criticize? Negative relationships can also produce positive results, even if you don't realize it. Your problem-solving skills, coping with criticism, learning to struggle by experiencing different emotions, all of which you think are bad relationships actually contribute to your life.
**While the people around you are important to you, you are also important to them**
Just as other people are important to you and your life, you are of great importance to those people. The lives of your family, friends, and friends all gain more meaning with your presence, just as they make your life meaningful… Your loved ones who want to share their problems, need to talk, be understood, have fun with you and have a pleasant time do not contact you immediately to experience their troubles or happiness. does it? Doesn't a call, a text, or a pop-up come from the need for a tight hug? Doesn't even a cup of coffee become more valuable when drunk together? 🙂
What did ancient philosophers think about dreams?
According to ancient beliefs, dreams were messages from the gods. There are records about these beliefs in the historical records of Ancient Egypt and Sumer. It is also included in the historical narratives of Herodotus and the expressions of some poets.
So, what did these dreams mean, according to common belief? According to this old belief that we are talking about, they told the future and had the power to heal. There were even holy temples built for it. One of the most important was the dream temples of Asklepios. Diseases are treated in the temple on the island of Kos, where people go to heal through sleep and dreams. These temples were even called hospitals at that time.
Asklepios was a poet according to some researchers, a philosopher by others, a healer of diseases, and even "the most humane of gods" according to some. Dream healing was considered one of the most effective therapies used by ancient doctors to treat illness.
Arnold Mindell explains that, believing that the body is healed in dreams during sleep, the diseases in the dream will be reflected, and that the priest or doctor performs healing by taking into account the message from the gods during therapy. With our current knowledge and worldview, this message comes from the body and is called body intelligence.
Aristotle developed ideas about modern dream analysis for the first time in Greek history and did not accept the divine origin of dreams. Aristotle believed that dreams could have a predictive content, but this was mostly coincidental.
In the light of all this, it is true that we have an inner potential, that we have very valuable dreams in our past that we cannot explain with logic, and that leaders have important prophetic dreams. We need to remember again that we are spiritual beings other than what we perceive with our five senses. In this way, I believe it will be possible to be in balance.
What is it to enjoy something: Make room for Savoring in your life
It is not enough to say stay in the moment to be happy, what this definition conveys is not conveyed correctly. Staying in the moment is not letting go of all responsibilities, labeling how we feel, taking a picture of the moment we think is happy in our minds or with a camera and freezing it aside. In the same way, in this process, which is conveyed as awareness, it is not about associating unhappiness with the moment and labeling it as "I was unhappy in this image" in the moments that make you unhappy. This is why the work of staying in the moment and awareness is suspended. It is possible to hear from most people who have worked in these fields; "I understood that, how did I forget it again?"
The reason why the title of Savoring is included under the concept of well-being is explained as follows: Observing and interpreting the moment you live, when you are happy or unhappy. For this, it is important to choose the simplest moments, not big events, breaking points. To grow small, to accumulate happiness. Like a nice shower, a delicious meal, a scenic walk, or anything. Not to stay in touch with the work you do, to give it its due, to show it, not to consume it, but just to live that moment. I think when we were children, we could do this very easily during the observation and experiment phase because we were learning. Every detail, movement, smell, taste had importance. That's why we always agree that the world used to be better, although in some cases it's right, it's basically about being able to stay in the moment properly. It is about sanctifying the ceremonies of daily life.
Even though these values are variable for each new generation, these values include having a family structure in the social structure, eating together with the family, observing the rules of etiquette while eating, eating the food only at the table, consuming as much as the portion given, not disrespecting the food and appreciating what is done, being together with the family without haste. sharing this moment: it's a ceremony. The fact that it is repeated every day, that people who experience it know that these activities are included under the concept of family, that they experience it together, that they accompany this ritual with a willing or unwilling will make this experience different for each child, even unwilling participation is a valuable part of this repetitive experience. It takes its place in our memory as a moment of happiness.
With this experience fixed moment of happiness, it is important to realize what you are experiencing when you take green vegetable juice and say to yourself “I am doing something good for my health” and drink it from the plastic bottle. Make sure that there is a moment produced in this moment that brings you happiness, other than a repetitive act of drinking, in which you are involved.
You can try a few techniques to enhance these moments, to transition from being a consumer to a lasting happiness:
Share the moment you live with someone else,
Think you're lucky
Be sure of what you are doing at that moment, do not take pictures to stay in the moment, I am not writing this digitally, observe it.
Have at least one reason to be thankful!
Extend the pleasure time, cut the dessert in half, give yourself extra time to eat the second portion, for example “I can eat the rest tomorrow, same time and with coffee!” you can say.
talk to yourself! Let them say crazy. Your ear needs to hear you, hear yourself more than the outside sounds.
Consider the power of words, if the formation of a word is as old as human history, we should not be so ungrateful as to use them casually.
Consider kindness and just be kind to yourself first and then the outside comes.
When I say this, I always think of the following: From hosting guests to sharing what they have, checking in with neighbors, helping those in need… There are some shadowy truths behind these, for example, those who buy their house, car, phone for someone else, those who offer treats to those who come home, and those who pass them by. If you adjust the quality of what you eat and use what you wear cleanly, you can always offer the same standard for your guests. On the other hand, if you live so that guests can see it, or if you live in a technology-oriented life so that people know better, when you return home, you will lose your self-respect beyond the increase in loneliness. No one else should eat what you don't eat, even if it's your lover… First of all, yourself. This is not selfish, it is a sign that you see yourself as equal with everyone and accept yourself as you are. Care for the guest, personal care, house cleaning are more valuable than the cost of the treat. This was always the case.
The reason why hopeful people are more successful is the “Hope Theory”
How do you evaluate yourself when trying to get a job or making plans for your future, setting goals; Hopeful or pessimistic? Are you one of those who look to the future with hope and always keep the belief that good things will happen; the ones who sink your ships in the black waters? Whatever your answer, this article may change your perspective on "hope". "Hope Theory", the entertaining member of positive psychology, consists of three basic components put forward by Rick Snyder, an American psychologist specializing in positive psychology: Goals, paths followed, and action. Let's take a closer look at the concept of Hope Theory.
**What is hope?**
What comes to mind when you think of hope? You are sprinkled with water, your mind is relaxed, your mood is restored, in short, is something positive growing in your soul? Hope is a part of all of our lives. Some of us have a lot, some of us have a little, but we all have it. Having hope helps us see life in a more positive light, reach our goals, and improve our lives. It motivates us all to define what we want and take action towards what we want.
**Hope Theory**
The hope theory proposes that hopeful people construct many paths that they can follow to reach their goals. The theory, which reveals that increased hope level improves academic, physical, mental health and is associated with well-being, explains that hopeful people can take action by looking for different ways to reach their goals when faced with obstacles. Snyder defines hope as the ability to walk paths to a desired destination and says that hope motivates people.
Snyder's Theory of Hope consists of three elements: goals, paths, and action. According to Snyder, if a person has focused thoughts, develops strategies for their goals, strives to achieve their goals and is motivated, the chances of developing a sense of hope increase.
**Ways to benefit from the Hope Theory**
Snyder draws attention to the fact that one can increase hope by believing in his own abilities and emphasizes that it is possible to benefit from the Hope Theory in three steps. You can also take advantage of these steps to improve your life and achieve success in every field by developing your hope:
**1. Set your goals**
Think about what you want to work on, what you want to achieve. Write down your goals and make sure your goals are clear and measurable. Also, make sure to set a deadline. When writing down your goals, make a note of how you will feel when you reach them, so you can strengthen the bond between you and your goals. At the same time, you remind yourself how eager you are to achieve your goals.
**2. Draw paths to follow**
According to Snyder, another thing you need to write on the same piece of paper as your goals is the paths you follow. Determine your roadmap; Write down your main goals and sub-goals. Consider alternative plans. How to get started, how to take your first step, write it all down step by step and make sure your paths are realistic and traceable so you can stick to your plan.
**3. Recognize internal and external barriers**
According to the Hope Theory, another basic behavior that hopeful people display is awareness of possible obstacles. These barriers may differ from the inside or the outside; but what hasn't changed is that hopeful people can envision these possible obstacles and make plans to deal with them. This describes the third component of hope theory, the ability to take action. When you become aware of the obstacles that may come your way and adapt your steps to overcome them, you are ready to take action and succeed. By implementing Snyder's suggestions, you can take firm steps towards your goals.
**Hope: 'The Rainbow of the Mind'**
What comes to mind when you remember the rainbow? Don't you think that the Sun, which manages to open even after the stormiest rains and creates a wonderful rainbow, has nothing to do with hope? Expressing that he frequently observes people while doing research on positive psychology, Snyder associates human power with hope and likens this hope to a rainbow. In his research paper on The Theory of Hope, Snyder defines hope as a personal rainbow of the mind. Snyder, who associates the colorful and luminous structure of the rainbow with hope, points out that hope, like the rainbow, raises our morale and makes us feel that it is possible to succeed. Don't get discouraged, keep your colors vibrant and don't be afraid to take action. Even when you think hope is furthest, remember the rainbow...
Working women: Don't stop being compassionate to be resilient
I wanted to share a few things about March 8, International Working Women's Day. I can't help celebrating today. When the world is full of stories of violence against women. On the other hand, there are stories of women who are so beautiful, so inspiring and born from their ashes that these are the reflections of women's productivity, mind, heart, innocence, naivety and beauty… I want us to continue creating those stories together.
I believe in that amazing power within women. There is the word "resilience" in English. It translates directly as endurance. It represents resilience, resilience, resilience, and being strong despite all the negativities. And now institutions have embraced this word and sought this competence from everyone. Is your manager mobbing, aaaa you have to show resilience. You must be resilient! Do you get crushed under heavy targets, you have to be resistant. Work-private life balance is confused, children, spouse, can not find the balance in the work triangle, oh no, you have to be durable. Are you depressed because you can't take time for yourself, oh no, you have to be resilient.
I am sure that many women around the world are trying to cope with many problems, problems and problems. No formula is the kind that can cure everyone. For years, I gave trainings and interviews on "Emotional Resilience". I know it's not about saying, "Get up and move on". We have always had examples of strong women in front of us and I am even one of them. I tried to support this competence a little by giving plenty of examples from my own life, of course, with the science of Positive Psychology behind me. I'm not talking about toxic positivity. I'm not promising anyone a vain dream or a rosy world, I'm not giving a formula that will suit everyone. Everyone's problem is unique and true to itself. Positive Psychology also never actually points to only the half-full glass. “See what is,” he says, with all its truth.
I wanted to remind you of something by highlighting a few of the views I believe in today. Wherever you live, see what is; in all its truth, in its nakedness. With all the aspects that hurt and force you. While going through these difficulties, a person may feel powerless, helpless, worn out, inadequate. Look for a helping hand that will hold your hand and listen to you neutrally. If you can't find it, please hold one hand with the other. Get out of that pain for a moment and watch from the outside, whatever you are going through. And consider that this is temporary. It will pass. And whatever, your only focus is on the way out. How do I get out of this process, how can I hope, how can I get stronger, how can I recover? Start thinking with versions of these questions, in a more compassionate space. Resilience isn't about not falling or not having feelings ever frayed or strained. Of course we fall, of course we can get hurt, but the important thing is to move from that abrasive area to the compassionate area faster.
There is another truth that I believe very much. A woman should look at herself first. He should know his own worth. In any case. She has the strength, mind and heart to fight because she is WOMAN. If it has been forgotten, it should allow the reminder. Whether it's his struggle, his knowledge, his effort. I invite you to join hands/mind/heart in order to become more conscious WOMEN who are aware of their endless potential, who transform their power into power with kindness, who feel the happiness and pride of being a WOMAN in every cell, and who transform and develop society.
I see this day as an occasion for reflection/strengthening/strengthening rather than celebrating. Again, on this occasion, I congratulate all women's day with my sincere wishes.
Power of 3: Why do we count to three?
“1… 2… 3!”. Have you ever wondered why we count to three, especially when embarking on a physically demanding job? The power of the number 3 underlies this habit. The reason why three, which is a number that our brain is conditioned without our awareness, is so important, lies as much as its simplicity as well as its practicality and satisfaction.
**3: The secret of effective communication**
A successful and persuasive text is as effective as tone and diction. We can see that these people realize that triple examples always work in a strong text and they use it frequently.
When introducing the iPhone, Steve Jobs talked about three components: the iPod, the phone, and the merging of the internet. The iPhone had many other features, of course, but Jobs chose to pinpoint it with three points. Martin Luther King Jr. He used trio examples in many of his inspiring speeches. Of course, these choices of Martin Luther King Jr., who spoke of "insult, injustice and abuse" and "justice, goodwill and fraternity", were no accident. As we can see from both examples, the secret of effective communication is in number 3. We can understand and remember more easily when we divide it into three parts. It is certain that successful people have already discovered the secret of the three.
**3: Sufficient, facilitating and persuasive**
The power of the three is also based on being believable and satisfying, unlike the two examples we mentioned above. Since the attention range of the human brain is limited, 3 items are more memorable than 5 or 10 items. According to research on short-term memory, people can only remember 3 or 4 things for a maximum of 20 seconds, not 5 to 9, contrary to popular belief.
The number three also has a great place in marketing strategies. Because while people love options, they don't want to have too many options. The paradox of choice comes into play: “The more choices we have, the less likely we are to be satisfied with our choice.”
Consider a situation where you have only one choice or knowledge; it doesn't seem comprehensive enough and you have nothing to compare it to. Two options are better than one, but not enough. When there are three options, it not only allows for a more meaningful, comprehensive and successful comparison, but also does not cause decision fatigue.
**3: Degree of success**
Etymologists cite the writing of ratings as an example of the importance given to the number three in English. In English, first, second and third degrees are written as 1st, 2nd, 3rd, while all remaining numbers are followed by -th; Like 4th, 5th. The top 3 also seem privileged in the language itself. Being in the top three at the Olympics and other award ceremonies is considered a serious achievement. The effect of the gold - silver - bronze trilogy on people is undoubtedly much more than being the 5th or 6th.
Speaking of achievements, you can also take advantage of the power of three to take more successful steps in your life. “When you use the power of three, you simplify, balance, and involve people.” He says and points out that with these three you can:
Build logic and simplicity. It makes it easy for both you and your audience to stay in context.
Provide balance and order. It establishes a clear expectation of how much they need to listen and how you are progressing.
Keep people connected. The audience stays engaged because they know where they are, like chapters in a book.
It is very easy to add trilogy to your life. All you have to do is keep the above examples in the back of your mind and
Using three examples when trying to explain a topic;
Giving them three reasons to persuade someone
Reviewing at least three options before deciding on something.
You are now ready to apply the rule of three.
Psychological effect of past experiences on career journey
Early childhood period can be expressed as the time period in which the foundation of the individual's future career choice and orientation is laid, as well as in social, emotional and spiritual areas. The first community in which the individual begins to socialize, that is, realizes his own existence by establishing communication and relationships, is the family. If all parents created a parent-child relationship with the awareness that this relationship and communication can affect the whole life of the person, they would probably act more sensitively than in their relationships with their children.
Of course, the psychological resilience, defense mechanisms and coping skills of an individual who did not have a healthy childhood may lead him to draw a different path in his future life. For this reason, it would not be correct to categorize people in a certain area by looking only at early childhood. Experiences are only traceable clues.
One of the areas in which the clues we call experience are combined and added to the person is the choice of profession. It may be incomplete to consider this field only as a choice, because although every person has a professional orientation, not every one can make a choice in line with their orientation. Considering that the average human lifespan is 70 years and it is assumed that the individual starts his career journey from the age of 18, we can say that more than half of his life will progress in parallel with the choice of profession. We see that the choice of profession will be an important decision that a person will make, as it takes place in a large part of human life. Well, despite the fact that there are hundreds of different professions in the world, what are the reasons why people feel closer to a few of them?
When each individual reaches a certain maturity, he or she directs his future life in line with the following 2 sentences:
“I will be like my parents, my sister, my brother in the future.”
“I will never be like my parents, my sister, my brother in the future.”
It is thought that individuals with a family history of physical or psychological violence may model this in their future lives, and may be able to use cutting tools or turn to professions that include martial arts. Another option is to develop resistance against violent places, situations and events, and turn to areas that benefit society such as non-governmental organizations within the scope of benevolence and solidarity themes. Moreover, it is thought that individuals who are not listened to by their parents at a young age, cannot see the value and love they expect, and do not have a say in the decisions taken in the family, can fill the gaps in the past by turning to professions that have the ability to address in their future life and have the competence to make decisions and implement that decision. Or, it is thought that with the continuation of these schemes of worthlessness and lovelessness in the future life of the person, they will remain in the background in an environment and may turn towards professions where they will not reflect themselves much to the other party.
On the other hand, it is known that the number of people who continue their parents' profession is quite high. At this point, it is thought that factors such as the way the parents present their profession to the child and the opportunity to make observations by including the child in the profession at an early age affect the person's choice of profession. As it is understood from the examples given, it is a fact that family life is the thing that attracts or pushes people to an area. Of course, these tendencies are also shaped by the social environment. However, most individuals will either want to be in environments that maintain this family pattern or they will want to go out of this pattern. Considering that this pattern is transmitted from generation to generation, it is thought that not only parents, but also grandparents can affect the life of the individual.
Hoping that our experiences will be instrumental in making the right decisions within us...
In the triangle of post-truth, reality, politics: How would you get your truth?
How would you get your truth? Sometimes the truth is like a gift. We want to hear, taste and travel together with him. Sometimes the truth is poison. They become a stream that we escape by manipulating ourselves, adorn with masks, and reject with our whole being. There is never a middle ground in the view of reality. We react in some way with either accept or reject verbs. The same person gives both reactions in different situations, as it suits him.
This attitude of humanity in confronting itself and the world has served to create one of the most powerful weapons of social engineering as a result of centuries of experience. The trivialization of the truth is the acceptance of a concept as unimportant or unnecessary. Post-truth is now the title of a mechanism that provides all the distortions that have become a manipulation technique and all the necessary directions to occupy the minds of the masses.
The concept is new, but its application has been going on for ages. It is the processing of lies as if knitting with various motifs and presenting them as a completely different reality. As we can all guess, it is an invaluable Indian fabric for universal political culture.
Especially in times of social anger, every political group makes sure that the facts collide with feelings and beliefs and that the emotion/belief pair wins in the blink of an eye. Once you see, the overwhelming majority has started to say, "The world is not actually round".
The trivialization of truth is the molding of intellectual integrity. It is the most rooted ivy that has spread over the idea of a democratic world. It is a tool that feeds off the feelings created by all the resentments developed by the poles, which are far from each other economically. For example, people may migrate to other countries for reasons such as war. These immigrants are reflected to us in such a way that we do not see the reality of war or the struggles of those people, and we suddenly have a fascist attitude with the itching of the social resentments we experience (they commit crimes, they take our jobs, etc.). And we talked about freedom.
An inquiring brain is one that searches for the correctness of the answers to its questions. What is happening in the world? Who started the war? Who benefits from its results? With what interests did the country that accepts the immigrants take this step? What reasons did the non-accepting countries put forward? What is crime? Why do people commit crimes? When we ask political and sociological questions like these, our anger is replaced by logic. It allows us to see the fine line between what we really need to react to and the person to whom we react angrily and form our opinions accordingly.
So, how does the trivialization of truth happen? What sane person could fall for the designed facts? What have we said, we are a species that can be interpreted as it suits us. Of course, this couldn't just be about personal issues. In today's world, while the ideas of "the individual's separation from society and self-worship" are being pumped, it is now very easy to be deceived by the content presented to us. Emotional interpretation, which is the most slippery ground of human psychology, comes from the habit of believing at will. These manipulations, which they were able to do with the seeds of ideas that were previously put forward by visiting the neighborhood by neighborhood and developed with television programs, can now be handled with a few buttons, much more comfortably and without getting tired.
And here comes the most important of the post-truth tools: Social media. The internet, which presents the information we used to search page by page with one click, is an invaluable resource when used correctly. But what if what we read is distorted information. What if those pens that we trust so much are invading our brains by telling 99 truths and adding 1 lie? After all, it's not the capital of Argentina, it's the information we're always looking for. Most of the time, we are investigating a fact, a news. There are many topics that are open to interpretation, can be filled in and can be made believable with photographs from afar. What about when we tidy ourselves up and share wonderful happiness poses in our saddest moments? Our escape from our pain with the likes and comments we receive? Look, even as individuals, we can deceive our environment. We can start from our belief in someone whose word we think is reliable because of his mere appearance, and from our reactions to the discourses of someone who is described as a maniac. With our willingness to trust deified, empowered people, we can easily believe post-truth illusions. Maybe it's the crazy one who shows us the truth.
Now internet trolls can suddenly change the agenda. Sections of a celebrity or politician's long speech can be combined and his career can be ended. Who have we not been able to throw off the cliffs by being caressed by our moral values?
As with any of today's world leaders, Russian President Putin is very experienced in these matters. He has developed such a political technology that everyone who speaks except himself has been made a liar in Russia. He has damaged the ability of many people to think impartially with his photographs showing himself above wild animals. There is a phenomenon called 'sharp power' in international relations. Bringing this concept forward, Christopher Walker defines sharp power as actions taken to “pierce and penetrate the political and informatics environments of target countries”. *Companies carrying out PR work currently have a great deal of interest, and thus market share, both in the political and commercial fields. Many power holders, including Putin, now work with these companies. All of them play a big game of perception to become "sharp power". And this game is so useful for them that even when they start a war, it may be considered a normal process for the people of the world.
For example, in the news about the current war, it can be said that Ukraine always belonged to Russia. Thanks to this distorted information that seems to be both historical and innocent, the masses, trapped in their homes on the screens, can become pro-Putin. Hegemonic powers such as Russia, China, USA, EU and UK administrations that started and fueled this war at the moment can never be sides that can be favored because all of them are directing humanity in line with their interests; whereas peace is the only reality on which one can agree and be a party.
So what can we do? Raising our intellectual courage is the first step. We must have the courage to question, to be skeptical, not to become a fanatic, and not to produce ideas for profit. It is spoken in the world right now that we should be at an equal distance from all kinds of perspectives. Although this is not possible, sometimes it can have very harmful consequences.
Being at equal distance facilitates the creation of games of perception. However, we should be more involved with information science. We must test the answers we receive to our questions as historically correct as we can. Every thought siege for which we cannot find solid and valid reasons is an area to be avoided. It needs to be explored. More often than not, we should listen to the silence of what is not being said, rather than to the voice of what is being said to us. If the information we come across is aimed at dividing, separating or excluding, if it presents violence as acceptable, if it shows one group of people as superior to another group of people, that information is definitely distorted information. And distorted information is hidden in the silence of the unspoken.
Facts change according to the spirit of the time, and without forgetting this, let's hope for the days when we can always research with a healthy mind, learn the truth and live in peace...
Do you want to be best friend with yourself?
What does value mean? Of course, it has more than one meaning, such as its mathematical meaning, its philosophical meaning...
According to the dictionary, the primary meaning is: “The abstract measure that determines the importance of something, the value that something is worth, the value.”
If I ask you this, I think you can explain it with examples similar to this or from your experiences. Everyone's concept of value is different. Some of us explain with cost, some of us with more abstract meanings...
It certainly has many implications for me. I reach the concept of "value" when I look at my writings, my inner journeys towards myself and every steep slope that I encounter in life. My biggest problem has been with this concept, I realize.
Let's take a closer look at what I mean... I have a lot of time to listen to myself. Because life taught me very well that my best friend should be myself first. Thousands of thanks to this!
This has always been my motto: “What kind of person would you like to be friends with?” “Be that first!” “Would you like to date someone like yourself?” “Then be that person first!” Examples like these could multiply.
Instead of always finding faults in others or, more clearly, seeing the deficiencies in others, "How sufficient am I?" As I began to look at his questions, my enlightenment followed.
The concept of value was also at the forefront of them. This is the emphasis I have made in almost all of my writings. I realize now that I don't even know what this concept really means to me, let alone based almost all of my life on the concept of value.
While defining this concept, I see that I have forgotten the most important element while interpreting it through the people in my life and the events I have experienced: MYSELF.
It turns out that I was defining my own reality, my existence, with the focus on making others happy. For this reason, I always saw the events I experienced as unfortunate and myself as unlucky.
When I read my articles, my emphasis was on the spiral of "Return to yourself, value yourself first", but in practice this is not the case at all. As I mentioned above, “Do you want to be friends with yourself?” When I ask the question, my answer is yes every time, but it turns out that the "become self-worth" part is not working in my inner world.
First of all, one should be honest with himself. First of all, I think he should be able to have transparent conversations with himself. After spending quite a long time with myself, I realized my mistakes. I was taking everyone and sitting them in such a corner of my life that there was no place for me to sit. In one of these internal conversations, I first started by reinterpreting the concept of value. Fortunately, I learned in practice that being able to say "me first" is not selfish.
When I changed the direction I looked at this concept, everything was solved like a domino. Everyone is where they should be, and I settled in the corner of my heart house. Thus, I arrived at my destination on my journey to find my own light. Me and me, whom I met at the place I arrived at, are now quite close friends.
Thus, I shine in the gilded armor that I have turned into myself, and I celebrate finally being able to give my worth to myself first. And you know what the really good news is? I can host everyone in my life in the most beautiful corner of my heart. After all, when you are in the center, access to everywhere is easier, isn't it?
With this article, I note that I have now come to the end of my self-discovery and self-worth pattern. Thus, by wrapping myself in the purest and most transparent feelings, my best friend, I give my oath of friendship once in front of you.
See you soon with my new journeys…
You can easily talk nonsense among people without going overboard
Everyone in the world is trying to make a living in one way or another.
Everyone has found a way to make money somehow.
Wingless ambition curiosity and pleasures
He left the road on the road, the main task remained
We went from color to color and became unrecognizable.
Many people try to act like crazy, to live like crazy in order to get rid of the stress, troubles and problems of this world, either by being crazy or pretending to be crazy.
Not to mention insanity.
There are countless reasons for people to be crazy throughout their lives.
Maybe we learned a lot.
Things we'll never use
We were crushed by heavy spit
However, a few words were enough for our language.
People focus on why a person is crazy, not on the reasons why they are just crazy.
Sometimes insanity can be a good way to make money, a way, and a door.
Among people, you can sit cross-legged in any corner, it may be more realistic if you shake your head left and right, up and down like rappers, pop artists.
Maybe they'll be laughing, maybe they're hurt, they're crazy! saying.
You know how your situation is, isn't that the point?
It doesn't matter how others see or what they do.
If you do not go to extremes among people, you can easily go crazy, you can easily do the moving stupid things you miss.
This is the only way you can deal with the lies, deceptions, deceptions and deceptions that you cannot explain, understand, yearn for, and cannot explain.
We live in times and times when it is very easy to be crazy.
Sometimes people can't help but ask about what's going on.
How come people don't go crazy in such an atmosphere?
Or is everyone crazy and no one knows what's going on?
Forget it, mind your own business.
Like crazy, that street is mine, this street is your bullshit, shout, call as much as you can.
Anyway, no one cares about you.
Even if they take it into account, is there anyone who produces solutions and offers solutions?..
Don't waste your time, I'm selling your mother!
Haven't we already come to this state by being intimidated, intimidated by intimidation?..
After that, maybe it's best to look consciously insane rather than freaking out in fear.
We live in a time when there are people who love to cause crisis, screw people up, mess up their lives and take endless pleasure from it.
Rents are increasing, house prices are increasing, foreign currency and car prices are dying. Drought is at our door, water wars are about to start, and we cannot cope with food, eating and drinking problems.
We hit, broke, cursed, counted
Useless tricks to intrigues
We hugged and tired ourselves
Only one was enough for our hearts.
There are so many events that occupy the agenda today; The crazy ones stay super smart when they're trying to find solutions to those problems.
In such a situation, what else can be done?
Come on, get a funnel, take a stick, move your head, shake your hands and arms.
Don't worry about world affairs.
Ways to Develop Positive Thinking Habits
All kinds of thoughts go through our minds during the day. These dialogues, personal comments, effective words, events and habits lived in the folds of our minds can sometimes be so effective that they can determine the rest of our lives. If negative thoughts are running through your mind, it is almost inevitable that it will negatively affect every area of your life. Negative thoughts in our minds can cause us to turn into someone who sees our surroundings through a dark and dirty glass, not to see the colors of life, and to perceive the facts differently than they really are. The good news: The habit of positive thinking is a skill that can be developed with practice. I have compiled great suggestions for you that will help you look at life from a more colorful window and acquire the habit of positive thinking.
**Start Your Day Positive**
The way you start the day, so will most of the rest. If you start with a negative perspective, it may not be easy for you to experience positive emotions for the rest of your day. Hold on to positive emotions as you start the day. Leave a note next to your bed or in front of your mirror to remind you of positive emotions. In the early hours of the day, make sure to have positive conversations.
Developing a positive perspective is possible by consciously incorporating positive behaviors, emotions and attitudes into your life. When you use your innate free will to turn to the positive, see the glass half full and focus on the good, you will see that you gain a much more positive perspective towards life over time.
**Replace Negatives with Positives**
All the experiences you have during the day determine how you think and how you feel. So start questioning what's going on inside your mind and what might be the sources of your negative thoughts. Ask yourself this question: What are the 3 sources of negativity in my life? The source that causes you to think negatively and therefore feel bad about yourself can be someone close to you, a website or application you visit regularly, a television show or even a song. Then open a new page in your mind and start thinking about how you can make changes in your life to spend less time with these three things, and what resources you can replace these resources with that make you feel good. Get yourself a realistic plan of action and implement it for the next week.
**Exercise Regularly**
When you are having a hard time with negative thoughts, even 20-30 minutes of exercise can help you change the thoughts in your head. Thanks to the happiness hormones secreted during the exercise, the tension and anxious thoughts that accumulate in you dissipate and you start to feel stronger. As your ability to focus your mind will improve, you can stay more in the present moment and move away from worrying thoughts about the future and negativity about the past. This, in turn, strengthens your capacity to deal with events.
**Stop Making the Fleas a Camel**
Because we are programmed to protect ourselves against outside threats, always thinking of the most dangerous, risky and frightening scenario, we sometimes overestimate really small problems. However, in order to develop a more positive perspective towards life, you need to increase your awareness of this issue and stop raising small issues in your mind and seeing them as the most important problem of your life. If you want to move forward and don't want your worries and fears to take over your life, give up this habit. When you somehow feel that you are starting to make fleas a camel, ask yourself: Will this problem still be in my life 5 years or 5 months from now?
Give Thanks
When a person looks at life from a negative perspective, he may miss many things to be thankful for in daily life. You can realize that there are many things in your life that you do not even realize, that have been with you since your childhood, only when you remember those things. When you go to bed at night or when you open your eyes in the morning, be grateful for the food you eat during the day, having a house to lay your head in, having clean water sources, your family, friends, whatever makes you happy.
**Don't Keep Anything Inside You**
If you keep holding on to negative emotions, after a while they start to take over you. In order to get rid of these negative emotions, use the transfer tools such as speaking, writing, painting, and singing that you can express yourself best. You can also share your negative feelings with a relative. In this way, you can rest your mind a little and bring a new perspective to the subject while the other person is listening to you.
**Add Value to Another's Life**
If you are stuck in negative thoughts, one of the most effective ways to get rid of it is to add something positive to someone else's life. When you do something positive about a loved one's life and see it shine, you too can be happier and feel better. You don't have to go to extreme lengths to add value to someone else's life; Be kind, be helpful, be there when he needs you.
Slow Down
When you go too fast, think fast, live fast, you may feel that you are often on your feet and cannot do anything exactly the way you want. When your activation is high, your stress level can rise and it becomes impossible to think clearly about what happened. In this case, negative thoughts begin to surround your mind. However, when you slow down, your mind and body also calm down. Thus, it will be easier for you to have a positive perspective on events.
Does the arrangement of the planets affect the symbols in our dreams?
I mention in almost every article that the symbols we see in dreams are indicators that come to us from our unconscious mind. Now I would like to talk about my experiences that caught my attention while interpreting those symbols.
The symbols in the dream are the indicators from the library in our minds that we have thrown into our memory before, and they are not far from us. On the contrary, the same symbol can have different meanings in different people, as they are the indicators that come from our closest selves. That is why it is necessary to make a detailed analysis in the form of questions and answers.
As soon as we are born, our natal chart is formed according to the arrangement of the planets in the sky. Our natal chart is not a variable data, natal chart analysis is done according to the same indicators throughout our lives as it was when we were born. But the planets in the sky are in motion, they all have their own speed, they all complete their circuits at different times. The effects of the instantaneous movements of the planets in the sky on our natal chart appear symbolically during our sleep process and give us some messages.
I think that we see through symbols in our dreams which planetary influences we receive during sleep affect which areas of our lives and on what subjects. For this reason, it is sometimes possible to see solutions to the issues that you are curious about, with appropriate affirmation, breathing and meditation exercises at appropriate times in the sky. Choosing not to remember or not being ready for those solutions is our choice.
I hope it was useful for you. Hope to meet you in my next post..
Do you hear the voice of a savior within you in difficult times?
When I think about what has happened in the last few days, I feel like I'm in a movie that will be shown soon at the cinema club. Sounds, frames, little flashbacks cascading…
“…Are you her mother?”… “Can you hear me honey, I am here” …”Do not sleep!”… “Look at me please…”… “What is your name?”… “Do you have a brother, what is his name?”… “Don't sleep! ”… “Look towards me please mom, not far…”
Hearing what's going on, possible risks from the doctor's coldness, hearing "I'm not saying it's possible, I'm saying it's possible, go to a better hospital", just to hear it at that moment… "He said... he said... he also said..." "Actually, he just said, change the hospital, Ok."
“Don't sleep, please look at me dear”… “Where is the ambulance?”… “Don't sleep, we're going honey”… “Shall we play your favorite song for the last time? I beg you to sleep…”
To open the windshield of the ambulance until the end, to catch someone who would try not to give way and to hold them by the collar... I am sure that my arm will reach all the way to the road...
Fortunately, everyone on the road is human, giving way to us, for all the ambulances I gave way, I never feel better again...
Phones, doctors, people…
Our emotional sway with my son, whom we learned from falling on his head while playing in the garden at his school and having a fractured skull.
It is within me that I meet with the woman I have met in a few difficult times before. A huge stone statue that comes out from seven floors under the ground only in times of need and without ever asking me… The one that says, “You move out, I'm in charge”. It consists of a strange acumen, rigid… The one who lifts me up and puts me aside softly with everything I've been through.
Finally, the next day, my dear classmates and the sweetest teacher came from my dear classmates and the world's sweetest teacher, with the notes "Get well soon, we missed you so much" stitched on the colorful papers.
Finally being able to say “I was hurt a lot, yes” with relief… Because it burned.
My son is fine now, we are all recovering. We are grateful that every moment is better than the last. Still, we have some unknowns, our companions along the way.
I know that if disaster strikes me again, I can't cry again, my strange assistant will come out from under the ground, he will take the helm without asking me, he will take us somewhere. This is my weird way of coping.
I wouldn't have been able to cry that day if those children hadn't had their papers. If I hadn't been able to cry, maybe I wouldn't have been able to hug so well, or my words would have turned into a curse, my silence, or I would have banged my head against the walls. If I couldn't cry...
When I'm hurt, it hurts, a lot. When it hurts so much, it hurts a lot. Painful parts do not go anywhere unless they are seen with compassion. If they are not seen, they turn into something else to be seen again. Nothing is lost without being seen.
My admiration for her is to my daughter who can cry by saying "I'm sorry" and to my son who runs away when he is afraid...
Hug someone who is hurting, even if they can't say it, hug them. Hug him so that he can find a place to cry in your arms, whenever he wants. Let it meet its fire, it's the look. Don't be fooled by his saying "it didn't hurt", hug him. Hold the space to its comfort, let it curl, fill, overflow, pass through when it is ready.
The Unique Benefits of Hiking in Winter
When the weather starts to get cold, most of us may want to spend the whole day at home with a hot drink. It can be more tempting to enjoy the warmth of our home without getting mixed with the snow, rain and cold weather outside. It can be very difficult to go out even for daily chores, let alone walking in the open air. However, there are many benefits of walking in cold weather in contrast to the comfort offered by the warm atmosphere of our home. If you only take a walk in the spring or summer and take a long break from your walks in the winter, this article may change your mind. Many studies and expert opinions point out that walking in the winter supports physical and mental health. Here are the benefits of walking in winter that will lift you up even if it's freezing outside and keep your motivation alive:
**Helps you Burn Nore Calories**
Yes, walking in the winter helps burn more calories. You can motivate yourself more to go outside in the winter, especially if you are hiking to support your weight loss process. A study of 53 people noted that walking in cold weather helped participants burn more calories than walking in warm weather, thus helping them lose weight more easily. If you want to get in shape as well as physical and mental health, you should not neglect to take a walk during the winter months.
**Strengthens your Bones**
As we all know, the sun is the most important source of vitamin D, which we need for strong bones. Although we can be exposed to the sun's rays easily and frequently in the summer months, this is not enough to close the gap in the winter season. For this reason, it is very important to watch for the times when the sun shines in winter days and to take the vitamin D we need for strong bones by taking advantage of the winter sun.
**Prevents Winter Depression**
Due to the shortness of the days and the lack of sun rays in winter, our mood can often be low, which can pave the way for winter depression. Especially if you leave the house in the early hours of the morning before it is light, and return from work after dark, we can guess that it is difficult for you to keep your energy high. One of the reasons for this negative feeling is that besides seeing less sunlight, we also feel that our connection with nature has been severed and that we have withdrawn into our shells. Walking outdoors in winter, if possible, going to parks, forests, and seaside can help us get through the cold days and spend time in the sunshine without breaking our bond with nature. If you can't go for a walk when the day is bright due to the intensity of your work or your working hours, you should definitely add a walk in the open air to your weekend plans.
**Upgrade your Mod**
Walking outdoors in winter not only helps us get rid of negative moods; It also helps us to recover our mood by increasing our energy. Walking in cold weather can increase our mood by increasing the secretion of endorphin, also known as the happiness hormone, as well as combating winter depression. Many studies point out that walking outdoors, even for a short time, helps increase happiness. Taking time to walk every day, even for 20 minutes, during the winter months can be an important step for your overall health.
**Helps You Fall Asleep Faster**
We all know that cold weather helps us sleep better. As hard as it is to fall asleep in the hot and sweaty weather of summer and to sleep uninterruptedly throughout the night, it becomes easier in winter thanks to the cool weather. Since winter walks also affect the cooling of the body temperature, and also activate the muscles and bones and prepare the ground for physical fatigue, they can make us fall asleep as soon as we put our heads on the pillow at the end of the day. Especially in winter, if you have trouble falling asleep when you feel stressed or anxious, walking in the cold air, even for a short time, can facilitate your transition to a restful night's sleep experience.
**Increases Your Endurance**
Exposure to the cold is one of the most effective ways to improve physical endurance. Have you noticed those who go into the sea without saying snow or cold, those who take a shower with cold water in summer and winter, and those who walk around in thin T-shirts in the cold weather? Everyone must know something, right? While the cold weather strengthens your immune system against various bacteria, the exercise you do at the same time supports this. You can motivate yourself to walk even in freezing cold to support your holistic health by taking a walk by inhaling the cold air, as it both increases blood flow and strengthens mobility.
**It Makes You Breathe Easier**
You must have noticed before that; air provides a cleaner breath on winter days. Cool air, which has less pollutants and allergens, plays the role of facilitating our breathing by bringing fresh and clean air with a calming effect to our body. It also makes us feel renewed with every breath. Doesn't that deep air you breathe while taking a walk on a winter day where the tip of your nose is red and your fingertips feel as if they are freezing, does not really give you the feeling of being refreshed?
**Refreshes Your Perspective**
Winter can be the ideal season to listen to nature, to listen to it, to observe what is going on calmly and to think. The silence that surrounds you when it snows, the sadness that collapses when it rains, a tree that has shed its leaves trying to resist the wind… While walking helps you untie the knots of confusion in your mind, the cool and fresh air you breathe can bring a new breath to your thoughts.
Whether you want to meet your sports needs, lose weight or rest your mind, go out; Do not forget to take a walk in the winter despite the cold weather. For both your body and mind, taking time for a walk during the winter months, if possible, during the hours when the sun's rays shine, can help you feel much better by increasing your quality of life quickly.
The Reflection of Our Social Media Usage Habits on Our Personality
Do you have a day that you spend without social media, a morning where you wake up without looking at your phone first thing in the morning, or a night where you go to sleep without swiping the screen? The adventure of social media, which started with the meeting of humanity with Facebook in 2004, took its current form with Twitter, Instagram and TikTok entering our lives with the speed of light. Social media channels, which are now an integral part of our lives, have become platforms where we share our thoughts, what we eat and drink, our travels, our daily life, our family and our friends with millions without hesitation. It is no surprise that a concept that is so integrated into almost every moment of our lives has an impact on our personality, our lives, and our choices. For this reason, most of us ask, “What do our social media usage habits say about our personality?” we are curious.
Many studies on social media and personality traits from the recent past to the present draw attention to the relationship between social media usage habits and many different emotions and concepts such as depression, loneliness, self-perception, narcissism, happiness and so on.
**Social media use and personality traits**
He developed a machine learning model that can investigate the relationship between personality traits and social media use, using all the statistical data they already have about the word choice of social media users, the time they spend on social media and their personalities.
It is among the most important findings of the research that the language and numeric features (such as the number of tweets, the number of followers, the number of replies in the posts) are the social media sub-dimensions that can best predict the personality traits, especially the language used in the posts.
**Social media use, language skills and expressions of emotion**
People with advanced language skills tend to tweet more often, and their tweets are the most liked, and they also return the fastest to their responses. In addition, among the research findings, the emotional expressions used in the sharing texts are a strong determinant in predicting the personality traits, and the people who use more negative and negative words in their posts tend to be more depressed and anxious.
It has now been scientifically proven that inferences about personality can be made from social media posts. The research findings are exemplary for many new researches in the fields of both personality psychology and information technologies with the data that can be obtained from social media applications. Conducting similar studies in the future to determine psychological disorders and tendencies in people, especially through the use of social media, sheds light on how technology can be used in the field of mental health.
**Social Media and Loneliness**
He pointed out that young adults' use of social media has increased in recent years and that the hours they spend in front of the screen have replaced face-to-face interactions. This study, which focuses on whether young people spend a significant part of their social lives on social media and forums, whether the presence in the digital world provides an adequate sense of social belonging and reduces the feeling of loneliness, did not come to the conclusion that there is a significant relationship between social media use and loneliness, unlike many previous studies.
Selfie Taking and Sense of Self
Based on social comparison theory; In the study, which focused on two psychological factors as social sensitivity and self-esteem, it was found that taking selfies lowered the self-esteem of individuals. In addition, it was also among the findings of the research that taking and sharing selfies increased the social sensitivity levels of individuals. On the other hand, it was pointed out that taking a selfie but saving it to the phone alone without sharing it further lowers self-esteem.
**Social Media Addiction, Self-Esteem and Narcissism**
When looking at the relationship between social media addiction and narcissism, it was noted that the significant relationship between the two variables could be interpreted as a sign that individuals with high narcissistic characteristics use social media excessively. Among the results of the study was the result that individuals rely on their social media accounts to meet their need to confirm their sense of self.
In addition to many studies investigating the effect of social media on our personality and life, the number of new studies continues to increase day by day. It is also possible to learn to benefit from the negative effects of social media and to turn it into a source of inspiration.
Transformation is a Personal Process❤🌹❤
I used to not understand why monks were estranged from everyone, now I understand very well. As your visions are opened, your desire to reach more people and be useful to them is revived, then when your visions become more open, you switch to "I'll share so anyone can do what they want" mode. That's what knowing is. If you really know, you will NOT interfere with free will, where even God is not involved! A teacher does not use ego statements such as "I told them, they didn't listen", "If you don't do it like this, you won't succeed", "This is absolute knowledge". He learns, experiences, digests, then shares. Those who get it get, those who don't get don't, those who understand understand, and those who don't understand don't understand. No one can change those who do not want to change, those who want to be unhappy will find something to be unhappy about, no medicine can cure those who want to be sick. In this sense, information is personal, it is necessary not to interfere, to respect everyone's learning process.
As for the monks, if you share the secret of the world, you will come across billions of people who will vomit their unhappiness and unhappiness to you. Someone will forget what you said and make you a liar, someone will try to crush you with their money because they can't control their ego, someone will throw you at the whim of the love they didn't see from their parents, someone will not come to your event because you didn't share a link, someone will unfollow you for sharing a link, someone will make fun of meditation, someone will make fun of meditation. one will read the evidence, one is trying to improve, one is blaming someone for every negative situation in life, the world will never be a good place, nor a bad place. The order will continue like this until you want to get yourself out of the loop. There is no need to dwell too much on events, the cycle of emotions begins there and no one can cope. Everyone finds their own truth in a place, gets away from it at that point, otherwise, they get away from the main subject from dealing with the energy of others. He enters the circle of hell depicted.
In conclusion, I respect all of your opinions, I listen, I listen, I apply what you say, I will apply, that is my job, the same applies to you, but I will not criticize you or take your inner restlessness, shortcomings, egoic depressions on me, I advise you to do the same.
See you…
@Self-Self
