The real power lies in accepting its fragility

When I was younger, I didn't know how to ask for support. I always wore my strong, invulnerable mask with the perception that I had to be good. That's why I was always distant. I wouldn't tell anyone that I was hurt, that I wasn't feeling well.

This trend did not change much when the little girl started to grow up. While I was trying to make others feel good, there were many years that I couldn't be at home for. In many trainings, my teachers were supposed to understand things that I understood, but it was not easy to integrate them into life.

When it came to relationships, I was the one who gave a lot but couldn't get it or didn't know how to ask for it. It's funny, but I remember very well when I whined, "He won't give it to me". You know why it's funny? Because I honestly didn't have the courage to speak out what I felt, I only knew how to whine to myself.

Years ago, there was someone I loved very much, and at the end of the day, my love and trust were so shaken that I was very angry for a long time. I kept telling everyone around me how right I was and how wrong he was. Because that's how I learned, when a relationship is over, one side must always be right. I was unaware of the weight I was carrying on my back.

I was angry because I was hurting. On the one hand, I wanted the confirmation of my rightness, on the other hand, I kept pulling on what was still not there, and I did not want to let go. My attitude towards life has always been about holding on. I thought that if something wasn't "mine", I could do it by holding on, pulling here and there. And I thought that if I did my best, if I kept tugging, everything would be as it was before. It was then that I experienced one of the deepest awakenings of my life. Actually, I didn't want to pull anything, I was just trying to choose to stay in this familiar and actually disliked comfort zone. Because out of comfort, they were uncomfortable feelings.

Years later, I realized: Everyone in my life, everyone who came into my life in some way did everything they could, with some of them the paths diverged, with some they did not, some hurt my heart a lot, it did not go well, some made me happy. In other words, if a person gives up the obstinacy of looking at his life from his own perspective and is willing to really see the person in front of him, there is no anger, the love in the middle grows. Because true love was hidden in the intention to see the truth of the other person.

Why is this apple yellow, why is this apple green, why is this apple red? Why are the branches of this tree longer and the other shorter? Is anyone guilty now? Is anyone really guilty?

Everyone who enters our lives actually enters to show and teach something. With some, the unity of the path continues until that teaching is over, with some, the unity of the path does not end even if the teaching ends. In other words, the big life always sends us a guide, sometimes the easy way, sometimes the hard way, so that we can learn something.

I say with all my heart that whoever you are angry with or feel offended with right now, know that that person has done and is doing everything he can. But that's all he can do. Teaching, orientation, wounds coming from the family… That can be all. It is none other than you waiting for the coffee in the coffee cup to become tea!

You did your best, you do. But that's all you can do.

Is anyone really guilty?

For a long time in my life, I thought the real strength was not asking for support.

However, real power is directly proportional to being able to see what is happening with courage and speak with kindness and approaching our own fragility and humanity.

The real power lies not in pointing the index finger out all the time, but in looking at oneself gracefully.

The real power was in being able to see and heal our own wounds, no matter where we started the story.

When we can do this, our vulnerability becomes the birthplace of our true strength!