Be the best friend to your child rather than being a parent
Now-a-days, most parents seem to handle their children smartly rather than strictly. But still there are parents who prefer not to change following the once upon a time by being strict, by commanding and by punishing them.
While I was a child I never got upset for certain things, infact this applies to my friends also. I lived in a colony of middle class people. Each time any request was put forward it was turned down by our parents, but this did not depress us instead made us strong. Not because they wanted to provide us, but their meagre income and more responsibilities stopped them from doing so. Looking back, no regrets. Iam happy for this because I learnt to survive any defeats coming on my way. We learn to adjust with the situations.
No appreciation for what we did, no right to choose a career or job of our own, a fixed time for everything, sometimes strict order follows don't do that, don't go there, why this happens only for you. Such commands and questions were quiet common during my time. To be precise we had no choice of our own. So we became strong in a sense that we were ready to take up and execute whatever was put forwarded before us.
It is not that parents were tough. But the living condition makes one to become like that. That was the fact. A small income with no much dreams, but expectations from children were high. The only benefit we had from this was more the parents were strict, more we had the strength to overcome problematic issues.
On the contrary, if you just look into today's generation, parents are educated with a lucrative job fulfilling all the needs of the children. Now its a competition among parents that their child should top, he should be given the best . So all his priorities are fulfilled. And what is the end result? The child has become completely dependent and no strength to overcome failures or depression.
Some parents are very strict with their children. Children are always playful especially under 13 years. To get them on track some parents believe its a must to use a cane or hand to punish them.
To bring the best in your child, this might help you.
Be a good friend rather than a parent to your child. He /she should be free to discuss and disclose all personal and confidential matters to you.
Know your child better by communicating with him regarding his friends, teachers, his likes and dislikes. If you smell something fishy keep an eye over him.
Children should make mistakes and we as a parent should correct him. Correct him, in the sense by communicating peacefully.
They should be able to raise from their fall. For that they need a supportive hand and not an arrogant tongue.
Mistakes might take place consequently but have patience to correct him each time he commits a mistake. Atleast once he will get to realize his mistakes.
Do not be argumentative when you find the mistake is from your child's side. Never appreciate this kind of act. You are ruining your child's future.
Do not force your child to be placed in first position in whatever he gets involved , like Sports, Arts, Academics etc. Let him know all about winning and failing. So that he will be strong enough to face failures in life even tommorrow.
When he fails just encourage him with soothing words and a happy smile instead of instilling hatred in his little mind. Such children can never ever build up a peaceful career.This is one of the reason why children are not strong enough to face the reality in life and opt for suicide attempts.
I have earlier mentioned in one of the articles that suicide rates are high in our place when the school and colleges publish the final results. This is just because they are not trained mentally to face such consequences.
Children are afterall children. Let them have fun while playing, making friends, by being a little mischievous etc. Do not over control them or scold them as they will turn out to be cowards while growing up. That is were we become helpless.
Grow with your children and teach them to face the odd things in life.
Indeed, our parents are strict but they made us strong and independent. However nowadays some parents are still strick but they are already controlling their children's with high expectations and that's makes their children's dependent and fragile. Anyway I would agree that we should be gentle to them and be their friends as well.