Getting lost day by day
September 22, Tuesday, 2022Humans improve their skills day by day over anything over time. Working in any profession comes with skill and experience. But I think I'm on a different path. The fact that my self-confidence is decreasing day by day is sinking me into the sea of despair.
When I was at primary and high school level, I was quite proficient and confident in any subject. Academically I was one of the top 10 students in my class. I was always the best when it came to playing cricket, football or badminton. When I came to the field to play, I would receive a reception like Messi Ronaldo. When I was sixteen years old I participated in the cricket team for my district. My success there was pretty good, and when the neighborhood boys went somewhere to play football, I was the first to be asked to play. In any case I was quite aggressive due to which two or three times I got into a fight and cracked the opponent's head.
But a person can never be good at many things at once, that's why I had to focus on one thing and that is studies. But sports have always been the most interesting subject for me. Since there was a lot of competition in the sports sector, I had to shift my focus from sports to studies. But studies were never the addiction for me that football or cricket was for me. Due to which I did not go towards professional sports but sports was my favorite subject along with studies.
But day by day it happened that I gave equal priority to studies, sports and even mobile phone. In such a situation, I am confused about how to present myself to people.
There was a time when I dribbled so well in the football game that the opponent's players could never take the football away from me. It was very common for me to give goals to opponents every day. But with the passage of time everything seems to be disappearing. I can't dribble well anymore or the opponent's players have developed their skills so much that it's difficult to take the ball away from them. I'm not worried about football, it's just that I'm using football metaphorically. Just as I lost myself in the game of football, if I complain about football, I will see that many other things like football are disappearing from my life. As much as I used to study every day during primary and high school, now I don't study as much as I used to in Saramasa. It is indifference towards studies. The main reason for this is that a person never likes one thing for long. For the past 25 years I have been studying, how much more can a person study? I'm not a wild animal or a robot, I'm a human being. Such indifference to studies may be helping me get lost day by day.
I wish, I could have a Island so I can live there alone, peacefully. Also it's not bad to have a partner there. :D
I can also testify that a person can never like one thing for too long. I've tried spoken poetry, writing poems and songs before and strum a guitar but that never last. Today, I have the difficulty in doing them and would just depend on my mood. I also realized that just because I know a how thing works doesn't mean it's what I'm meant to be.