Virginity, as they say is a thing of pride. It is the state of being a virgin, that is someone who has never engaged in sexual intercourse either with the same sex or opposite.
During ASUU strike, I discovered that some ladies don't understand the term "virgin or virginity", talk more of men.
I've read articles of medical experts on the issue of virginity and the misconception of some people. I've heard stories of lovers, accusing their partners of infidelity because they didn't bleed during sex. They believe all true virgins must bleed the first time of intercourse. Some, go as far as injuring their partner, unknowingly, during intercourse because they want to see them bleed, as first timers. One thing they do not understand is, not all ladies bleed.
A woman born without hymen, is not capable of bleeding during her sexual debut. The hymen can actually be torn or broken without having sexual intercourse. It is highly possible that physically demanding activities such as sports, riding a bike, putting something in vagina like tampon or finger, can stretch the hymen, before having sex.
The hymen is a thin, fleshly tissue that's located at the opening of the vagina. Many people think the hymen totally covers the opening of the vagina until it's stretched open, but that's not usually the case.
It's sad to hear that some ladies think once you have a hole in your vagina, you're no more a virgin,which makes them feel sad, evven without engaging in sex.
Most of the time, hymen naturally have a hole big enough for period blood to come out and in some cases, use tampons, comfortably. While some are born with little hymenal tissue, and in rare cases, people have hymen that covers the entire vaginal opening - they may need to see a doctor for a minor procedure to remove the extra tissue. Once the hymen is stretched, it can't grow back.
The society, gives huge regards to the issue of virginity. Some mothers do take their daughters to the hospital, weekly, to check their virginity status. Fine, mothers are just trying to protect their daughters from making wrong decisions and from becoming promiscuous. Like I said earlier, some ladies believe that they are no longer virgins because they have a hole, down there. All, because of Ignorance.
Three months ago, a teenager shared her experience with me and from what she said, I realized sex education is Paramount. This lady said:
"Sister Blessing, you won't believe what I did when I was between 12 to 14 years. I didn't understand the stuff about virginity. All I knew was when you have sex, something will break and you'll bleed, then there'll be hole. I started menstruating when I was 14 years and I assumed I pass out urine from an invisible hole. One day, I decided to look at my vagina, just curiosity. I sat in front of the mirror, checking for hole with my finger. I got worried and super scared when I saw the opening, I thought I was no longer a virgin. But,how? I couldn't take my mind off the feeling that I have a hole and I'm no longer a virgin. I couldn't talk to my mum about it. In secret, I'll steal my mum's phone and search for ways to close the hole. I was ignorant. Then, I saw some stuffs on what to do to tighten the vagina. I tried them, not knowing whether it's harmful or not. I did a lot of things trying to close something that was never opened".
I read her message over and over, trying to digest what I just read. Like, she almostd harmed herself, that's if no damage was done, in the first place, while trying to tighten what wasn't loose. She called and told me of things she put in her vagina every night, I was shocked.
I had to explain to her some things about the vagina and how to care for her body. There are some ladies, who do not know anything about Virginity.
Hear this, it's normal to have an opening in your private part where you can easily pass out urine and menstruate. Some are born with hymen that are naturally open. You can't tell if someone has had sex by the way their hymen looks or feel.
Conclusively, the definition of virginity is complicated, it's up to you to decide what you believe. But, before you engage in any sexual activity, ask yourself: Are you ready for this? Are you happy with this sexual experience you've had or decided not to have?
Lead Image source : Unsplash