"There is NO dress code for Rape!"

A week ago, there was a woman found naked with her hands and feet tied and was being murdered. Base on the investigations, it is 99% sure that she was Raped. How it hurts knowing that it ended up like this by this heartless and selfish persons who only wants pleasure.

Let’s talk about this topic.

First let us discuss what is the definition of Rape. Rape is the penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim. Rape, on the other hand, is a form of sexual violence and a serious crime. But do you know how distressing this is for many victims? As a result, many rape victims choose not to report the crime to police or refuse to press charges against their assailants because there was this called “Victim Blaming”.  A person's clothes should not be used to justify why he/she was raped, nor be viewed as an invitation for the rapist to commit the crime. There are victims of rape who wore t-shirts, long pants, dresses and even diapers and nappies when they were abused. As what Kurt Cobain said "Rape is the most terrible crimes on earth and it happens every few minutes. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape". Remember that there is no dress code for rape. Being a victim of such kind of violence has a Physical and Psychological effect. This Physical effect such as a forced sexual assault causes visible bruising or bleeding in and around the vaginal or anal area, Painful intercourse, Urinary infections, Uterine fibroids – non-cancerous tumors in muscle wall, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and what hurts most is unexpected Pregnancy.

Victims then experience short and even long term psychological effect this includes:

• Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) wherein they experience reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks) Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event. Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event.

• Depression wherein they experience mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest.

• Borderline personality disorder wherein they have extreme mood swings, unstable relationships and trouble controlling their emotions. They have a higher risk of suicide and self-destructive behavior.

•  Dissociative identity disorder wherein they have multiple, distinct personalities. This condition can cause memory loss, delusions or depression.

The trauma of being raped or sexually assaulted can be shattering, leaving you feeling scared, ashamed, and alone or plagued by nightmares, flashbacks, and other unpleasant memories. The world doesn’t feel like a safe place anymore. You no longer trust others. You don’t even trust yourself. You may question your judgment, your self-worth, and even your sanity. You may blame yourself for what happened or believe that you’re already “used” and “dirty”. Relationships may feel dangerous even intimacy is impossible.  Take this in mind that if you have been assaulted or raped, it's important to remember that what you are feeling, thinking, and experiencing is a normal reaction to trauma. And, no matter how difficult life may feel right now, there is hope.

We can help this survivor by:

• Allowing them to express their feelings

• listen to them and validate what they are saying

• Help them make changes to their environment that make them feel safer.

• Remind them that the rape was not their fault

• Advocate for them when they need your help facing the medical and legal systems. Let them know you believe in them, and that you know that they have the strength and courage to heal and survive.

Honestly, The reason why I want this topic to be cleared its because I was once a victim. I'm almost being raped when I was in college. The owner of the apartment I used to live from the very start of my college life has a secret admiration on me. He always greets me every time I passed by him. I didn't notice that there is something behind that smile that I need to be concerned about.

After a strong typhoon, there is a part of my apartment that needs to be done. That day I need to go to school and afterwards I need to go to work since I was a working student. He has a duplicate key, even if I am not around he can go and do the repair. I came home late, tired and sleepy. Take my shower and just lye down my bed. I slept a little and surprisingly there he was drunk and grab me. I can still remember how I cried so hard. Asking and pleading not to do this. But still there he was leaking until he reach my upper part. I can't move. Please ! STOP! STOP! Please! I don't know what other words I should say. I'm scared I can hear my heart beats so fast. You're not this kind of person as I speak. He paused and say his apologies. He told me not to tell the authorities. He kissed my shoulder and walk away.

It still hurts like hell I can't even talk to anyone. I can't tell how I feel. What if they will not believe me. I don't have the power. I cried myself out locked my door, stayed at the very corner of my bed. Starts talking to myself in the mirror. I'm afraid of being touched. I changed a lot many says. I keep my silence. Still he keeps bothering me. Knocking at my door, whispering through the window, calling me at my phone. I don't know what to do. Please enlighten me! Until I hear a song of worship. I started to realize I am not alone. I recovered on my own. And start to open things to my teachers and gave me the best advice. I'm so thankful!

Realization

It's not too late to speak. It will never be an excuse. Together. Let's help break the silence!