Toxic positivity

It's annoying when people often say and insist motivational words as if you have no right to feel negative emotions. We are human and its okay to feel different emotions depending on the situation or on what we are going through in life. I don't think this mindset is applicable for those who are suffering from depression and anxiety. Toxic positivity will trigger their emotions. They will start comparing themselves to yours to the point where they themselves will feel more weak and worthless. It doesn't help, it might rather make things worse.

Though it has good intentions but there are times when it doesn't really help. Yes it can be a good idea for a short while. Suppressed emotions become bigger and less significant as they remain unprocessed.

There are times when other people just need someone to listen and feel your presence. You don't need to preach to them what to do because they already know it but aren't ready to process their emotions.

It also takes time for you to better understand why you are experiencing this kind of thing. People's feelings do not change automatically. There are stages that are needed to forget the reason why you feel that way. Paying attention and processing your emotion as they come and go may help you better understand yourself, and those around you.

Examples of toxic positivity that we often hear

• I DID IT, SO CAN YOU

  -We have individual differences so even if we say that you have been through the same thing but then we have our own way of processing our emotions in each situation, it may work for you but not for others. This is the reason why I avoid sharing my personal problems to others for they will surely compare me to them.

• JUST STOP BEING SAD

  -We always want to be happy but there are instances that even if we want to but we can't because of so many circumstances. How can you be happy if you are suffering from depression? How can you be happy if you lost someone you dear so much? How can you be happy if you don't have the things you need? It's very hard, really. It's okay and valid to feel sad to the things that don't go your way.

• FAILURE IS NEVER AN OPTION

  -Well its really good to hear this kind of line, it somehow motivates other people. But it can be a reason for some to never try something for they are afraid of failure. Failure is always part of our life. From what I read in some article, fail means first attempt in learning.

• JUST BE POSITVE

  -There's nothing wrong with this motivational words, but it depends on how you say it. If someone said that they are tired of their situation let them be, acknowledge their emotions. Don't pressure them with your so called positive words, validate and understand their feelings that it may be difficult to them. Do not pressure them in moving on too fast.

Do you have anything to add to this toxic positivity? Tapusin ko na agad haha. Tara maglunch na muna.

Thank you for reading!

@Reclusexantho

*lead image is from unsplash