Causes of disharmony between couples and possible solutions

The way husband and wife interact with each other count a lot. Some couples stay in the same house but they are not in good harmony. Some live like cat and rats. Their homes are a hell on earth instead of heaven. This is not good. Let us look as some causes and solutions to disharmony in the home.

THE CAUSES OF DISHARMONY IN THE HOME

TEMPERAMENT; this is in-born habit. The way people react or feel toward thing or other. There is no couple who have the same temperament. In most cases they are opposite to each other. Some husband may be hardworking, authoritative, talkative and indecent wife the wife is easy going, gentle thinker and decent. Thus, the way they do things and feel will be contrary to each other.

MISCONCEPTION ABOUT MARRIAGE; they may have wrong view about marriage. Some may think marriage is only about sex, child bearing, abstaining from house chores, provision of all needs, and enslaving the wife or husband. Including absent of sorrows. Regret and bad action comes when these things are not seen.

BAD COUNSEL; this is receiving bad advices from parents, relatives and friends. Some people can give a couple wrong advice with aim to cause misunderstandings in the family, debar the progress and destroy their joy.

FAILURE IN DUTIES; when the couples fail to do their expected duties in the home. The husband does not perform his duty as head and wife refuses to be helper but head.

ENVIRONMENT; circumstances and people who surround the home can contribute to sourness of the home. They do it by intruding to the affairs of the home. Some parents want to be dictating what new couple must do in their family.

SOCIAL AND ECONOMIC SITUATUON IN THE COUNTORY OF RESIDENCE; the way people living around the family behave and change in cost of living can cause disagreement.

CHANGES IN STATUS AND HEALTH; a person’s position and health could change. A rich person could be become poor. Likewise and healthy person may become a sick person.

UNFAITHFULNESS IN MARITAL LIFE AND BAD HABITS; some may be having sexual intercourse with another person. The partner may be drunkard, thief, lazy or drug addict and so on.

THE POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS TO DISHARMONY IN THE HOME

Couples can overcome disharmony in their homes by the following measures;

STUDY YOUR PARTNER’S TEMPERAMENT; you have to study and know your partner’s temperament. Then try to avoid anything which will cause conflict between you and your spouse. It is impossible to change other person temperament totally. You have to endure the weakness of your partner.

HAVE THE RIGHT CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE; You must understand that marriage is an entire institution on its own that you can never graduate from but you must study carefully the whole courses. Marriage is lifelong thing which involves endurance.

REJECT BAD COUNSEL; do not accept bad counsels either from parents, relatives and friends including godfathers and other influential people. Do not compare your home with your neighbor’s family; remember your home is unique.

DON’T ALLOW SOCIAL AND ECONOMIC CHANGES DISTABILIZE YOUR FAMILY; do not allow the social and economic situation in society bring disharmony to your house. Learn to adjust to the new life within your means. Wife makes sure you manage what your husband gives you and do not demand high things. Husband continues to trust your wife.

ENDURE ANY CONDITION YOU FIND YOURSELF; be ready to endure any condition you might find yourself either in status or health. Remember your vow on wedding day. “for better for worse”. Your love is best demonstrated when condition changes in life.

BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR LIFE PARTNER; learn to be faithful to your partner in sexual activity, money, words and in deeds. Do not indulge in adultery. Satisfy each other with sex. If your partner has bad habit or indulge in a sin, do not revenge nor try to force your spouse to leave it. Continue to show the partner love and endure. Show your mate his/her sin with respect and pray for victory for the partner.

AVOID COMMUNICATION GAP; learn to communicate with each other, you can do this by discussing whatsoever you want to do with your partner; do not hide anything from each other. Disclose your plan to your partner. If you hear anything about your spouse, ask and find out the truth from him/her.

FORGIVE AND TRUST EACH OTHER; make sure you trust and desire to forgive each other. Believe what your partner says to you. Overlook the wrongs he/she might do to you. Do not have record or catalogue of offences against your partner. Accept your mistake and guilt with misunderstanding between yourselves without third party.

RESPECT ONE ANOTHER; it is common to hear some husbands complain that their wives disrespect them. This disrespect are shown through disobedience, insult, mocking, harsh speech and abusing. The wives too accuse their husbands of enslaving them, dishonoring and not listening to them including neglecting their advices.

Disrespect comes as result of irresponsibility, pride, maltreatment, lack of sympathy, ingratitude, disappointment and performing below expectation.

Respect which is a mark of regards for others can be earn by being responsible, hardworking, courteous, truthful, humble, selflessness, not demanding undue respect, sympathetic, and loving.

If there's something I have left out and you feel like sharing with us, please feel free to do that in the comment section. Expect me in your notification with another awesome article.

Thanks for your time.