Sex is not the only way to Cheat
Sexual infidelity is of course, a clear cheating case and everyone is aware of that even though people still fall victim. When you are in a relationship, which means that you have made a vow and committed yourself to only one person who is your partner, you are not expected to have sex with another person again unless you are deliberately determined to cheat. But people who do not want or have any intention of cheating sometimes subconsciously find themselves in bird with another who is not their partners then they call it mistake.
The truth about this is that, you have cheated before the act or the supposed mistake. Yes, you cheated in your heart.
Once you occupy your thought with the fantasy of another woman, you are cheating already, cheating starts from the heart
admiring someone up to the point of having feelings for the person and that comes from the mind. Avoiding intimate relationship of the opposite sex is the best option
Looking at a lady or guy seductively and wishing if you have him or her to yourself is cheating as well.
Cheating doesn't only mean that you are having sex with someone that is not your partner, cheating also means telling another lady that you love her when you are in love with your partner
Cheating is not just by having sex with another. It can start from your mind and you may not even notice.
Once those facts you mentioned like strong feelings for another sets in,there will be a chance of you cheating.
Cheating Starts with lust.
Anyone lusting against another is already cheating their partner. The sex is just confirmation
This act is an error in relationship have someone else in your mind apart from your partner its wrong..
Especially with all these people that do claim besties of the opposite sex. Your partner should be all you think about and not someone else
Already sex doesn't just happened,it is premeditated
Thinking about another in a lustful way is cheating because in doing so,you can't give your full attention to your partner
by having imagined within your mind about sex you are already cheating because cheating comes from the mind before we now put it to practice it physically
We can shout for cheating if we have full control on our desire. Otherwise after falling in strong feelings the mind stop thinking and all the blood circulate in one direction only.
So stay close to the partner , love it and think about him / her always
Cheating is a choice not a mistake.some people destroy their self by doing this.we should avoid this
Cheating begins in the inside. You might do it physically because you are not opportuned to. Let's flee from cheating because it destroy relationships
Sex starts from the Mind.....When You have no desire ,Sexual activities can't take place, Cheating starts when You start Hiding Something's (Secrets, Phone, Passwords etc) from your Partner.
Once one begins to create room for another individual asides the partner in his/her head, he/she can never be fully invested /satisfied in the current relationship...at a point that individual begins to look outside
Cheating actually starts from the desire of another in the heart...But it culminates into sex actually....But how do we prevent that? Sometimes it is inevitable...I think we'll just have to prevent the sex part.. Because that only crowns it as cheating But as for Strong feelings,that might definitely happen.
Let us stop hurting ourselves and avoid falling into the danger of cheating. once you have made up your mind to go on that life long journey with that special one, all your feelings and the entrance to your heart should be locked with a password which only your partner would be able to access. In this way, you free yourself from the bondage of cheating.
My approach to a lively relationship
I was taking a nap that Sunday afternoon in March when his call woke me up. He needed my help to avert a break up with his girlfriend of 3 years. "This man, how you end up always trying to get relationship advice from someone who hasn't been in one for ages baffles me."
Well, that didn't stop him from telling me his problems as he believed I would always come through for him. His girlfriend said there was no "spark" in their relationship again and everything seemed boring. So she needed a break.
"Do you do everything right and on time?"
"Yes . I have tried ooo. You know me too well."
I had a good laugh. Believe me, I always try to have a good laugh.
I told him the story of a local politician charged with delivering his ward in a general election. This politician listened to the complaints of people living on the same street with him about the need to install gates at the entrance and exit of their street. Everyone turned to him to do it and in return, they would make sure his party wins the ward.
"Hey, hope you're still there?" I asked him over the phone and he responded.
"Please save my relationship, forget this story. But I am listening. Continue."
So what did the politician do?
He bought two gates, fixed one immediately at the entrance of the street and people were happy. But instead of him to fix the other one at the exit, he just dropped it there. In the next street meeting, he told everyone that it was remaining two weeks to the election and he would really love to fix up that gate. But the gate had some issues and he has called a welder to fix it.
Everyone cheered and clapped for him. Every day, this politician made sure the welder was there very early in the morning as people left their houses to their various engagements. And in the evening as they returned, they saw the welder at work.
What did this do? It gave them hope. Hope that this gate would be fixed and there was someone working hard to make sure that happened.
On election day, people voted for his party and he delivered his ward. Before 11:00 am next morning, the exit gate was fixed.
"So , how does this your story relate to the relationship issues I'm having? I really don't want this babe to leave me."
"Hope my brother; excitement and hope. That's what I need you to bring back into your relationship."
When you tell your girlfriend you would call by 6, call by 5 and promise to call again by 8. When you promise to buy her a gold wrist watch, buy her a necklace before the time and keep her excited and hopeful about the watch.
Never see love and acceptance as a destination. Always think of something to keep the ball rolling while you're in control. Give, but keep hope alive for something much bigger. Always!
Where there is long lasting love, there is always hope for something to come and excitement laced in it. You have to try to keep that excitement alive through different tricks and means.
"Oh, now I understand what happened with your gate story. But wait, was anything wrong with that exit gate?"
"No, nothing was wrong. I told the politician to fix one and work on the other to sustain hope and excitement. There will always be something to do."
"If what you told me is the real problem in your relationship, then this little hack will fix it."
It worked for him. Hope and excitement was returned to their relationship and he proposed to her in the last week of November. They'll be getting married this December.
So here's a lesson worth sharing with your friends and loved ones; learn to keep hope and excitement alive in your dealings with anyone. Always give them something to hope for and fulfill that hope. As you're fulfilling it, bring in something new immediately.
At all times, try to deliver on that hope and excitement because if you don't, it'll turn to resentment and lack of trust.
Sometimes people are not boring. We just get used to them, they become a routine and we stop trying.
Learn to keep the spark alive!
The Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is designed to set the victim free. Just because you forgive someone does not mean you are condoning their actions nor does it mean you think that person had the right to hurt you. Despite your forgiveness there are still consequences your offender must face but forgiving them releases you from the pain.
You know in life we learn to forget and we learned to forgive, so try to forgive those who did wrong to you cause if you try to revenge what somebody did to you, you will never revenge exact what the person did to you, so is better to forgive and forget. Power is the ability to do work . Work cannot be done without power and energy cause this goes same time.
No matter how we preach forgiveness, it's usually hard to forgive depending on the magnitude of the wrong done to you. But in all we have to forgive because we also wrong others in one way or the other
True, forgiveness gives relieve to the mind, it brings peace and progress. Revenge will never make you feel better although it may seem like it would. Yes I have, especially as a kid,when my siblings refused to share their goodies with me.
I have taken revenge on people before but I realized that it was a bad thing to do. Forgiveness is the best way to be happy in this world. Let us stop revenge and always forgive our enemies
Forgiveness make you more strong as compared to taking revenge. When you forgive, the opponent feel fear in his mind till you reach your hand to him.
If someone has hurt you, it is better to think in the right way than to take revenge. Because revenge does not benefit anyone
Forgiveness is really divine. It's something we have to do without thinking much. We have to always love and appreciate people atleast for the sake of God.
Yes I have taken revenge on people when I'm young.. But now I don't anymore.. I forgive people.. No matter how difficult it is for me.. I forgive people.
Always it hurts when one wrong you But why seek revenge?
You'll only be like them instead FORGIVENESS is the best thing to do.
Anger is a natural process and it causes bloodshed, murder, enmity and hatred in the society, so the Shari'ah has declared forgiveness as its solution. It is about forgiving others in order to create a happy atmosphere of peace and tranquility in human society.
Forgiveness is not just for everyone. And whoever forgives even though he has the power is in fact a great human being and humanity remains in him.
God always gives us a second chance by being a forgiving Personality. We should copy forgiveness from God. Unforgiveness is not healthy for our mind. We should learn forgiveness.
I also believe in forgiveness, by forgiving someone, you can have upper hand over him. But if you go to his level and take revenge, there is no difference between you and him!
So being human, we make mistakes, and we should also have the attitude to forgive someone, if we want to be forgiven
Forgiveness is better than taking a revenge but most of us lack this quality that's why our society is in tr" Forgiveness" it's a real job
Though it's so tuff for us to forgive anyone but it's really a good way to achieve other's heart, and the special thing is that we will so close to Allah when we try to have this habit in our self..
Forgiveness helps you ease yourself from the burden of thinking and getting more hurt and that's why I respect people who sees forgiveness as a key to moving forward in life
No matter what people may do to hurt you just try to know how to forgive because there lies your blessings, you have to forgive to have inner peace within you.
" Forgiveness" it's a real job. Though it's so tuff for us to forgive anyone but it's really a good way to achieve other's heart, and the special thing is that we will so close to Allah when we try to have this habit in our self..
Forgiveness is never easy...there's a certain level one can get hurt and the only thing that comes to that individual's mind will be to elicit revenge... However one thing I have come to learn is when we forgive, we are indirectly liberating ourselves from the hurt we've suffered... and this is a crucial step if we wanna heal
It's Christmas again
Many years ago, it was common for a strong kingdom to overthrow a weaker one and sometimes, if the monarchs resisted, the stronger Kings would kill them. This was the situation of the people of Segamu. Their King was ruthlessly murdered, and they were taken captive by the king of Jegude.
Three generations had passed and the people of Segamu had accepted their fate. Consequently, they were under the leadership of a new king who was known for his brutality. He increased their labor and gave them food enough to keep their bodies and souls together.
However, the king had a soft spot for his two children, especially his son Segi. Segi was a curious, talented, and intelligent young boy who possessed a lovely voice, hence he was being trained in the art of war; knowledge of foreign lands, and the rhythm of music. Wura on the other hand, was a taciturn and wise girl.
Gradually, Segi's curiosity grew much more. He began to sense there was more to his life than he knew. He asked his father one day, his thoughts about his purpose. The question impressed his father, which he answered, “Well son, as far as the kingdom is concerned, your purpose is to reign after me as an intelligent and strong king that must command the respect of the people.” Since Segi wasn't satisfied with the reply of his father, he decided to ask his music master. His reply to him was, “Child, I'm only a musician, and I've had so many experiences in life, yet this I can't tell you. As mysterious as the sound of musical notes, so is one's purpose. It comes by revelations. Search for it and when you find it, run with it.” These words stuck to him and soon he got to understand them.
While Segi was taking a stroll around the courtyard, his attention was drawn to a young scrawny looking boy who was carrying heavy pieces of wood to the construction site nearby. Immediately his heart went out to him. He inquired of the guards the background of the boy and was told that he was from the captured colony. At home, he began to read about the history that happened ninety years ago, of how the people of Segamu were captured. He became troubled by his findings, but he knew that discussing this issue with his father would be a futile attempt, so, he thought of a plan.
In the colony, the people noticed that another new boy had joined them. When they asked him how he got there, he narrated that his father owed the king and was unable to pay his debt, as a result, he was taken as a collateral. They usually heard stories of this sort, yet his story sparked empathy from them.
The next day, the young boy's task began. Since he wasn't used to these hard tasks, he was whipped to the point of bleeding by his task master for lagging behind. Though the pain sent sharp signals to his brain, yet his heart broke at the thought that these people had been enduring such gruesome treatments for so long.
At night, everyone was sore after the day's work. While they all relaxed, the boy sighted an old musical instrument. He asked to borrow it and was given. The people hadn't heard and played music for so long, hence when he played, the music made some to cry profusely, while the souls of others were uplifted. For the first time in a long while, the people slept peacefully.
News eventually got to the colony that the heir had been missing for three days, that was when it dawned on Segi to return from the colony (for he was the boy who disguised himself to the colony).
The royal family and others that heard about the Prince's arrival were shocked as he recounted his tale. Also, the king's heart broke at the sight of his son, More so, from the marks which were still visible from the whip. The action of the prince revealed to his father how complacent he had been towards the sufferings of the people of Segamu. This also proved that his son was a true king at heart. Segi's humility, and compassion not only won him the respect of all the people including his father, but also the freedom of the people of Segamu.
Christmas is a time of love and giving and “The King in a Manger” reveals the humility and sustainability of God, who chose the manger as the birthplace of our Lord Jesus Christ. This tells us that regardless of our status, we ought to show concern for anyone because our neighbor is anyone who is directly or indirectly affected by our actions or inactions.
Embrace Forgiveness
To forgive is divine and we all know that sometimes it's hard to forgive as well. But forgiveness is the only way you can let go of the past and not carry such a burden pain in your heart.
the past is a great teacher of man. The past teaches a lot to man. A wise man is one who learns from the past. And tries to move forward in life. Man should move forward by forgiving mistakes. When we forgive someone, when we make a mistake, someone will forgive us too.The person who should always work with courage and patience.
We will always ask forgiveness and spread forgiveness too But you won't let the same mistake repeat itself anymore. watch out for negative and toxic people and stay away from them at all costs
We all are being pardoned for our numerous blunders: but why can't we forgive the little mistake of others? We know it very well that our life is short; so why should we cultivate the seeds of wrath when you are, ought to care for each other. So circulate the love and optimism; accept the errors of others and let them forgive
Forgive one another as Christ forgives us, if we harbour hatred, malice, our heart will be heavy, but once they're lifted we becomes light. Never take one kindness for granted, Don't think because the person forgave you yesterday, you can still repeat thesame mistake
Forgiveness is the best gift we can give to others but we all should be very careful not to repeat the same mistakes again and again so that our relationships can be protected
Mistakes are part of our life and we learn from our mistakes in life for it's a key of success and happy life and forgiveness is also part of our life which makes us respectful and earn respect from others
Forgiveness is very essential because if you don't forgive God won't forgive you either, but never take it for granted, never go back to thesame thing you did, Because we are human, might find it difficult to forgive the second time over same mistake
One positive virtue that makes humanity continue is the need to forgive. This attributes bridge the gap that could hinder cooperation and the furtherance of development
I don't make mistakes willingly... These just happen by... But when I say sorry I say it with ever most deepest corners of my heart. You know what forgiveness is? It doesn't mean to hug the person who has hurt you.
Indeed it means to promise yourself that you would never commit such with the one who hurt you and obviously with no one. If you repeat your mistakes then you do never deserve to be given a second chance. Thank doesn't mean we shouldn't forgiven more than once.
If you don't learn from your mistakes and those of others, then the life you have spent uptil now is useless because You had not learnt anything from your life.
To forgive is divine. That's true. We should have a big heart to forgive others' mistakes. Forgiving is a great virtue. In the same way, if we make a mistake we must beg for forgiveness
When one errs the first time.... all is forgiven because we see it as a mistake. but when you keep making same mistake over and over again, then thats a problem. You can't grow if you keep making same mistake all the time
"Even the great oak tree knows that it must bow to the wind."
I think that's an expression from the proverbs of the Native American Indian.
It's said that the circle of life include making mistakes, offering forgiveness and accepting apologies. The fact is that the circle is broken for many people. If you live you will probably make mistakes. But not everybody is willing to forgive and some folks refuse to apologize. That's where the circle gets broken. It happens because the great oak refuses to bend or yield to the wind.
Bending is far better than breaking. Bow and win. Negative temperaments do not result in positive things.
Spread forgiveness, accept forgiveness.
The power that lies in speaking out
An old Christian song reads: “prayer is the key… prayer is the key… prayer is the master key… Jesus started with prayer and ended with prayer…. Prayer is the master key. Hope you remember the song?
This song speaks of a truth that cannot be contended with. Prayer is indeed the master key and solution to many things in life. It is, therefore, a much needed solution to conquering your world. With prayer you can move mountains, and shake as well as change any situation. Through prayer, you can relate and communicate with the unseen realm. Through prayer, you can express your interests to cosmic powers.
**MYSTRERIES OF PRAYERS**
The place of prayer in conquering your world cannot be overemphasized. Prayer is the ability to speak through. It is your opportunity to speak up and be heard in the matters of your destiny. More so, it is the way to speak yourself through with God and the enemies of your greatness.
When faced with life’s challenges, the place of prayer is where victory lies. Where people complain, argue or worry, the truly Great people pray.
They use their energy to speak themselves through. The act of prayer is an act of faith in itself. Complaining has almost never solved any problem, why then do you think you can complain to conquer your world? Learn to pray.
When the enemies of your greatness want hold you back, when things are not working as planned, and when you cannot see a favorable path on the journey to conquering your world, do not keep quiet. Speak up/ use prayer to speak through. Through prayer, you can speak to the devil, to God, to situations and even to things. The world has not worked in your favor probably because you have not been speaking to it. Learn to talk to the world and you will conquer your world. They earnestly await instructions from you. It is one of the authority Jesus gave you as a Christian.
Never be shy, timid or confused about the validity of this principle. Most of the Greats recorded in history are Known to have been caught speaking to themselves and to things some times. When Jesus needed a team, He spoke them in. when Kenneth E. Hagin needed money, he spoke them in. Abraham Lincoln contributed a lot to the winning of America’s civil war by constantly speaking about it. You too must learn to speak yourself through. This requires learning the art of communication however, but you can start from any situation you are currently going through. Open your mouth and speak to them. Speak to that job, that boss, that promotion, that needed resources, that opportunity, that location, that marriage, that contract, that vision, and other thing that concerns your world. Speak.
**PINCIPLES OF SUCCEDING IN SPEAKING THROUGH**
In no order, here are some of the principles to help your speaking produce results.
Acknowledge everything has a voice.
Acknowledge your voice is powerful enough to be obeyed by anything.
Things answer to blessings more than curses.
Speak anywhere and immediately you can concerning that need.
Invite people who understand this principle to speak on things with you.
Value what people are saying or have said.
Rebuke immediately the things you do not like.
Do not put yourself or allow yourself to be put demeaning examples.
Understand the tongue and words have power, and
Have people who speak over you once awhile.
Life happens to those who keep quiet or claim to not talk too much. Recognize there is time for everything. Time to speak up openly and in your mind concerning your work must be intentionally created daily. Some people wake up to command their day before the go out. It is a good practice. My
Dad has been known to clamor for the return of family devotions. Family devotions are not times to share the word of God alone. They are also times to speak over the day, each other and any known situation.
The truth is: some people are speaking over your day if you do not. So why not be the one to speak over your day?!
Never assume what you see today is how it is destined to be. That saying is only true if you or someone else have been speaking about it.
***May the power of life and death in your tongue come alive from now on. May things answer to you today. And may the wisdom to set aside a given time to speak to your world locate you in Jesus mighty name.***
**ENDAVOR TO DO THE FOLLOWING;**
Decide to not be quiet as you go through life.
Allow for minutes during your day to speak over your world.
Learn not to joke with words from today, and develop your ability to articulate yourself.
Change yourself before attempting to change the world
We should change ourselves rather than changing others. If you change your self then surely the world for you Change automatically. As we change, the environment becomes better. Accepting the opinion of others is the healthiest thing.
Yes, Change is never easy. But accepting the reality no matter how worst your condition may be is the very first step you should take for changing your life steps. Everyday we are getting caught in this RAT'S RACE monotonously. To change this, you must be very specific about the changes you are going to do with your life in future.
We tend to change ourselves only for right reasons. This is a fact that changing for a right reason, changes the world
Everyone wants to cahnge the world, that is very difficult but changing yourself is such a way that others will copy you and change themselves too.
Bring change in yourself and your habits because we are responsible for our own attitude and always try to keep ourselves in good mode because when everyone thinks same this world becomes a heaven
It's not easy changing yourself, but it's necessary if you want to make a massive impact. Change yourself and not the world is a life lesson expressed beautifully ... You might not get an answer right away, but you will have more clarity .
We should first amend ourselves. Make ourselves to adopt good habits. We should have the ability to convince others to our point. First improve yourself then advice to others.
The things that we wish to see happening in the world should be first practiced by us. If we hate lies, we should stop lying. If we hate corruption, we should not be engaged into corruption.
Human beings are different in nature and mindset. It is too difficult to change the minds of all people. It means to change yourself and the way you think about the atmosphere and situations.
Everyone has capability to do something new which not everyone have. So you change yourself not the world . If you become able to change yourself the world would definitely change its attitude towards you.
We should change ourselves first then the surrounding automatically changes with us. Sometimes we want change but we don't even try to change ourselves.
We have to heal ourselves first, yet we can explain a good thing to another person, when we will not heal ourselves, then it will be of no use to convince the other person also. First we have to execute ourselves and then we will be able to execute people
When we ourselves are on the right path, when a person is doing wrong, then we stop it because we feel that work is wrong
We always ask others to change themselves, but we do not change ourselves. We can slowly change ourselves. First we have to change our way of life then we have to tell others that it is also a divine change in our life. Changing yourself means choosing the good over the bad.
When we begin to change our individual selves, the world too will experience change.
We should make effort to making ourselves better, changing ourselves and not wanting to impossible others or the whole world to change.
They say that just as a person is himself, others also look at him in the same way. When we improve ourselves,when we will change ourselves, then this world will also change. Will we feel better
we should change ourselves, not people, not the world. for instance, If a poor friend of a rich person, that rich man keeps degrading him every moment, he will always get hurt . That's why we should take special care of these things that no one gets hurt due to our words . We need to change ourselves and change our thinking .
You do NOT need to have a position to be a leader. You Do Not need a title to change the world. The world can ONLY be changed by your example NOT by your opinion. Leadership is taking responsibility to do the right thing. And the first person you must lead, is yourself.
The king gave himself for our freedom
Chosen kingdom in an uproar again! The warriors of Hades kingdom just left after looting them of valuables and killing their youths. A terrible experience it was!
Adam, the king of Chosen kingdom was pacing perplexedly.
“How long are we going to keep suffering? They come at will, steal, kill and destroy my people without pity.”
“Please, calm down.” Eve, the queen said sadly.
“Don’t say that! Where’s Abel, my only son and heir to my throne? He was killed!” he cried.
“But your highness, King Zedek of Salem kingdom promised to help us in this distressing season.”
“Yes. He promised to send his Warlord and second-in-command to his throne. A warrior who has never lost a battle.” Adam explained.
“Good news! Our oppressors will be subdued by his great powers and prowess in battle. When are we expecting him?
“Soon. Zedek has sent several emissaries to prepare us of his coming.”
“He's indeed a great man!”
“Yes. A civil war once broke out in Salem kingdom. Some chiefs and domestic staffs conspired against the throne. It was fierce! This man singlehandedly led the battle against those traitors. He fought and won. Afterwards, the traitors were banished from the kingdom to the wilderness forever.” Adam expantiated.
“I’m happy!.” Eve smiled.
A knock interrupted their discussion.
“Come in”. the king ordered.
Your highness, someone from Salem is here to see you.” Asah said prostrating himself.
“Let him in.” Adam said.
Asah stood to bring the visitor.
“Your highness! I’m John from Salem kingdom. Our king asked me to enquire if you’re prepared to host his warlord? He desired him well received and taken care of.” John explained.
“We’re prepared to receive him, we'll care for him till war ends” Adam replied.
“I’ll be on my way.” John replied and left.
“Thank goodness!” Eve danced happily.
“I'm relieved, we can now have our lives and peace. Thanks to Zedek.” Adam said thankfully.
The evening of that day, a stranger walked into the kingdom, dressed in a simple attire, looking ordinary. He entered the palace bearing a smile revealing his joy.
“Your highness, I’m Manuel, the warlord of Salem kingdom. I’m happy to be of help to save you from your enemies.” Manuel said happily.
Looking at him in disbelieve.
“Really? Where are your men? Your weapons?” Adam asked.
“Your highness, no need for that! I’m all you need to win this battle.” he explained.
“I need to talk to my chiefs.” The king fumed.
At the meeting of the elders, they deliberated, argued and fought. And they concluded he was a spy from Hades to deceive them. They requested of him a sign to ascertain his claims but he couldn’t. Eventually, he was banished from the kingdom.
The ignorant people exiled Manuel from their kingdom, they threw out their hope of survival.
Manuel was unhappy. He had nowhere to go. He could have backed out but being a man of his words, he didn’t. He wouldn’t leave until the battle ends, giving them freedom and peace from their enemies. With that, he decided to stay at the entrance of the kingdom.
He camped there with no shelter from rain and sun and no protection from danger and wild beasts. But he’s determined to save them.
As usual, Lucifer, the king of Hades decided to invade and loot the Chosen kingdom. He gathered his army, ready to attack but the story was different. A mighty man was guarding the city gates.
In annoyance, they attacked, the war was fierce, swords clanged, heads flew and blood gushed. Manuel singlehandedly fought the battle; it was tough but he was brave and strong.
Soon, the people of Chosen kingdom came to witness the fight. They’re amazed at how the spy fought bravely for their cause. They realised the man they threw out was really from Salem and they wept at their stupidity.
Manuel strategically attacked Lucifer and conquered him.
There was a shout of victory from the people. Unfortunately, Manuel was wounded, bruised and he had lost much blood.
Before his last breath, he professed his love for his Chosen people.
"I love you, my people. I came in peace but you rejected me because you're short-sighted. I chose to save you and I didn't back out until I did. Embrace my love and be a victor always."
With these words, he died.
The people cried and rushed to him. They carried him and made their way to the palace singing a dirge.
"Emmanuel, a man of peace,
Came as our saviour - humble and loving
In our ignorance, devil, we named him
To the manger of thorns and danger, we banned him
But in his love, he fought our cause
And for our freedom, he gave himself..."
Time
Time indeed is something we can't really predict what it brings. We can only do our best while the time goes bye. We must learn to use time well
Time is just like money. If we respct the time now then time will respct us all. We should never waste our time and get advantages from it
We should just use the time and gather experiences to make ourself strong and should not expect anything from anyone.
We should not waste our time and keep moving one rather than standing on the same point and waiting for time to do something.
Time isn't our friend because it waits for no one. We should all work ahead of time and not with time for it is not a respecter of being.
And only time tells us about the reality of the people around us..
If our Time is good then everyone will be with us, if our time is bad , we will be alone, that's why time tells us about the real face of people.
Time moves and never stops for anyone. Time is scarce for all of us and we have to try by all means to do what's best for us within the given time.
Time is friend to no one and one should work with time as it should and not depend or be friends with time as it can hurt badly
Time is never a friend to anyone regardless of your situations it ticks on and on so if you are waiting for time you are all on your own because time don't wait for no one.
You can only try to keep up with time as it can never be friend with anyone just manage your time well to achieve your aim and purpose in life
Time is a valuable thing in the world, time is the precious thing in the world, time is everything in the world. We move with time our life end with time so time is life. Let's respect time and give room to our heart to maintain time.
Time is always changing. It is not the same. Bad situations come and good times come. Time has taught us a lot. From time to time we see new faces of many people.
Time is not the same all the time. It can throw the king to earth from the heights of the sky and it can also make a beggar of a street a king.
Time is directly proportional to Fate. It behaves like the fate of a person.
Its the time which show your personality to the word. What are you. They respect you according to the time. Let take a look to the government servent, while performing his duty, every one give respect to them, but when he retired, no one give them that respect.
Yes there is hard time in our lives but a good time is waiting for us. Time is the precious gift and thing in the world. We must have to use it wisely and never lose hope in hard times.
There is hardly anything more valuable to human beings than time. All our affairs are subject to time. This universe of ours is also connected with time. Time also shows man progress and also decline. Time gives man both happiness and sorrow. Time unites man with the calf and also separates him from his own.Time does not move backwards, it always moves forward and does not stop, it is just moving at the same speed. Time also gives us a sense of events. Time is a teacher who teaches us everything. Every moment of time is a priceless and precious asset.
Time plays a significant role in our lives. If we better understand the time value, then it can gain experience and develop skills over time. Time can also heal things whether external wounds or feelings. Time is the ultimate thing that we cannot measure.
Time is so unpredictable, no one knows what direction the hand of time moves but one thing is constant and imminent...everything that pertains to life be it good or bad happens in its due time
I think time is money, health and wealth. It's more precious than anything.
If you are in a trouble or sorrow, You should be patient and grateful and one day the situation will change.
Some valuable lessons from 2020
**2020 has been so far one of the best years of my life.Why?? Did I achieve all what I wanted to? Did I acquire all the skills I wanted to??…The answer to all of this is a big…NO…Then why am I claiming it to one of the best years of my life …because it has taught me such useful lessons**
This year made me understand the true meaning of family time. series of lockdown kept the family together for once. It also taught me that prosperity and poverty are all vanity. But I choose prosperity
It taught me not to sacrifice my life just because i want to make others happy, Putting myself first is not selfish. It taught me to stay strong always and Never give up on Survival
We should always be grateful for the little things like waking up everyday, having food to eat, a roof over our head. So many people take these things for granted but believe you me its a miracle
It taught me to learn how to save for the rainy day and to tell God to allow his will be done by the beginning of the year rather than having too many expectations that will cause pains if circumstances didn't permit them to come true. It taught me to be grateful for being counted among the living despite not being able to achieve all I desire due to lockdown.
it taught me to appreciate God in every thing, to have faith and hope in God. it made me also to know that my God is a great provider because He provided for me that period. it made me know that where there is a casting down, there is a lifting up
To be contented, to value life and live it to the fullest with no jealousy, hatred or envy... Even to value the air we breath.
This year has taught me how to manage resources and always remember that life is not a bed of roses.Hardship really dealt we me.
It thought me humility. It also taught me that over seriousness in life doesn't have any meaning. Nothing is worth losing my peace of mind for. To be grateful for the little while expecting the best.
This year, I also learnt to find happiness in my own company.
I learnt the importance of entrepreneurship.
I learnt to make lemonades from lemons. Throw and not to ever worry about anything that doesn't add to me positively.
It taught me how to forgive easily, how to save and above all how to cherish every moment of my life
2020 has taught me how to manage with the little I have, 2020 has taught me how to appreciate the little I have, 2020 as taught me to let go of anything that I can't change, 2020 has taught me how to love myself the way I am, 2020 has made me understand life more than before, 2020 has shown me that I'm indeed a strong warrior. 2020 as shown me that I can survive any other year.
It thought me that money is not everything. Even those who have much lose their life's. And also as humans we should be humble because nobody nows tomorrow.
People change, life change too, situation brings out the the real from the fake. Situations too allow people to pour out what they have been harboring in the heart all this while
ACCEPTING MY FAULTS
Before I just used to brush off my faults or used to blame others for all my miseries. Fast forward to 2020, I realised that my faults are holding me back and causing mental trauma not only to me but also to the people around me.So .
I've come to realize that Smile can win interviews.
2020 has taught me a lot about life like how to deal with any kind of situation in the best positive & calm way rather then thinking & doing anything negative about it.
It has learnt me not to give up ever after any failure in life because failures are the lessons which leads one to success
Most importantly 2020 taught me to be very postive & calm even at the utmost negative situation of life. So always be postive about life & never lose hope because this is what will keep you alive in the long run.
**Be proud of yourself and your little achievements, no one is going to love you more than yourself. Celebrate your accomplishments, take some time off, pamper yourself.**
Let's match into 2021 head high!
Silence the enemies of greatness
Silencing the enemies of your greatness exposes the importance of having a supernatural help to overcome life challenges. Success in life is more spiritual than physical. In the same vein, failure is more spiritual than physical. Overcoming your life's challenges or failing to overcome them has so much to do with the supernatural realm. This is why everyone who has or want to conquer their world must know their supernatural help. On this article, I write on how to silence the enemies of your greatness the Christian way. Considering Jehovah God as the Almighty and the holy Bible as the wisdom of God.
**Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. -1 Peter 5:8**
Success is the result of tests, trail, temptations and/or wars. No one can claim to be successful without having good through something difficult. These difficulties or huddles on the journey to success are the enemies of your greatness. Like in the above scripture, there are adversaries - wounded and roaring lions - seeking whom they will devour.
Whatever level or position you are aspiring to get to in life, someone is there. And, no one will really drop his or her position for you without a fight, even when their tenure has ended. These persons have used their position to make themselves godfathers, gatekeepers, and powerful people for others to bow to. They are in every sphere of life today. Some of them want you to join their cults. Some want you to fight for them. Some want to sleep with you. Some want to be your godfather. In whatever shape or way they come, they are devils and agent of the devil. They would Stop at nothing to ensure you don't get to where they are or be bigger than them if you are not tied to them. Does that not sound like everything the Bible defines the devil to resemble? How else can you explain someone else wanting to sleep with you to give you a job or promote you?
Such persons are wicked. Pleasing them is never enough. They will always come back for more and morr, and will seek to destroy you if you dare to outsmart them. Jesus wars us to be vigilant about these kind of persons. They are out to hold you down in life. Don't be ignorant of them and their devils. It is the first way to silence the enemies of your greatness as you seek to take control of your world.
The devil and these enemies are smart in disguising themselves. They make you feel like they are not there or are not responsible. If there are no devils, how can you explain people failing again and again in life generally when they keep doing everything good to succeed? Why else would someone need you to join their cults before you get a job or be promoted?
Your world -- life, business, marriage, children and community -is probably the way it is because of these devils. To be vigilant of them is not to run from them or ignore them. Being a devil or wicked person means looking for trouble where there is no need for it. So, ignoring them doesn't mean they are not after you. To be vigilant of them is to silence them. And , you do this through submitting yourself to Jesus - our supernatural help.
**For this purpose the son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. - 1 John 3:8**
Remember, I'm writing this article from the Christian perspective of the devil and our saviour. It is, however, not to say that other religions do not believe in the devil or a savior. Interestingly, every religion talks about the devil in one way or the other. The difference between these religions is how salvation comes. Some claim salvation is to come from you as you align yourself with forces, laws, and prophets. This is where the Christian religion defers. Salvation comes from God through Christ. To silence the enemies of your greatness as a Christian, you need Jesus. To have Jesus is to understand he has done. The above scripture teaches Jesus was made manifest to destroy the works of the devil.
Every work of the devil and his agent against your world can be destroyed in/by Jesus. Jesus is not just a prophet, but a saviour. He is the only prophet who died and is resurrected. If Jesus has power over dealth to resurrect after dying, then he is powerful enough to 'make you a wonder o the world.' And if he is powerful, I wonder who else can do a better job in silencing the enemies of your greatness.
Although Jesus has done all there is to defeat the devil and the enemies of greatness, it has not stopped the devil from trying his powers per time. This is why even when your boss knows you are a Christian, he still dates to want to sleep with you, delay your promotion, sack you, belittle you or subject you. He is only trying. It is when you do nothing, he (the devil) would stand victorious. This is why Jesus puts you in the equation of silencing the enemies of your greatness. You are to enforce what Jesus has done. You are to speak up and act on-line with the authority he has given you.
**That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth. -Philipians 2:10**
Spiritual battles are not always fought physically. Trying to send a letter of apology when you are not wrong, trying to sleep with your boss to keep the job, trying to join their cult in order to be promoted, doing sacrifices or refusing to do nothing are no long term ways to silence the enemies of your life. By doing that, you are proving to them they own you. So, spiritual battles are to be fought spiritually. The above mentioned scripture teaches us how to do that:
1. Establish a relationship with Jesus Christ by accepting Him as your Lord and Savior.
2. Begin to study His word - the holy Bible - to know him better, and to know his plan for you.
3. Seek the baptism of the Holy spirit. He is the power of God.
4. Do the will of God in public and in private
5. And, constantly rebuke the devil.
Christianity is not for going to church every Sunday alone. It is to make powerful enough to compete and succeed at ever level of life. It is a guarantee you have been numbered as a son of God, and can exercise the authority in Christ.
**An example**
I know of someone who was sacked from a particular level in an institution, because to go higher you must join a cult. I know someone whose life began to depreciate after he slept with his boss. In our society today, there are scores of unholy things that happens just to be successful. Some persons have had to result to scam, ritual killings and joining secret cults. That is not true success. One day, your life will be demanded from you. It is better to pay the price in doing it the right way than to suffer for eternity because you cannot take it any longer.
Someone shared the story of how an embassy south to redecorate their building. On taking out things to replace them, the officials saw charms in beads, ropes and leaves among others. Do not be decieved, you, your background, your community and your level is not alone to blame for the way your world is. There's more to life than meet the eye. Do well to silence the enemies bof your life, and you would be amazed by how your world could improve!
**Prayer:**
May God open your eyes to the enemies of your life in Jesus name. May the power of God answer for you as you silence the enemies of your life from today in Jesus name. May God teach you wisdom by his spirit on how to successfully silence the enemies of your life in Jesus name. And, may nothing on Earth, in heaven and beneath the earth be able to hold back your greatness again in Jesus mighty name.
**kindly say the following prayer**
Father, I'm thankful you love me so much to be interested in me. I am sorry I have neither accepted you or taken you more seriously before now. Today, I accept your son (Jesus) as my help, lord and Savior, and receive your Holy spirit into my life.
Lord Jesus, come into my life. Take your place in my life as my savior. And, teach me to stay in a relationship with you be your spirit from today.
Amen.
**Exercise**
1. Learn to pray concerning your life and everything that concerns it.
2. Learn to mention the name of Jesus in circumstances, and to involve Him in the circumstances of your life.
3. Take three days to do a fasting and prayer for your life, exercising authority over the devil and his agent against your world.
***If you found this interesting, you may Subscribe to this page for more life changing articles.***
Knowledge
Knowledge they say is power, an ignorant person may carry a heavy load from one location to another, with so much hard work, but someone with knowledge can do the same work, after and smarter with a wheel barrow or a car...
Knowledge is better than luxury and wealth. Acquiring knowledge is better than silver and gold. Riches without knowledge will disappear like flames in a short time.
In our pursuit of living means on daily basis, we should try to understand the importance of knowing. knowledge is the power we as a whole need to get the indistinguishable aptitude all together that we're ready to see the qualification among legitimate and invalid and may recognize among truth and bogus all together that we can perceive appropriate and off base, also obtaining understanding is for all positively and as far as I can tell, it's something that we can all have communication in buy with this we can not neglect the spot of extreme work in the general public.
knowledge is for all actually and the way I see it. It's something that we can all engage in but with this we can not neglect the place of hardwork in the society. And even hardwork minus knowledge gives failure. so we should try acquiring all of them.
Acquiring knowledge is the best thing ever. by knowledge you come to know what are you, you recognise yourself, blessing of God, His glory...
Acquiring knowledge also give us some highest rank in society, also provide us knowledge of profession they adopted.
We should gain knowledge and try to transfer to others too. Knowledge is the best thing we have in our life, this is the great wealth, we are rich if we have knowledge not if we have wealth.
To acquire knowledge is very important, it makes us to be great and honourable in the society. Knowledge is everything you need. Nothing can be done without knowledge. But a bad person misunderstands knowledge. Such people are wrong. Knowledge is power We all need to get the same knowledge so that we can see the difference between right and null and can distinguish between truth and false so that we can recognize right and wrong.
We may be working hard but no knowledge. This is called ignorance which we all do not want. When we try to work hard, let's try to have knowledge or else, you will not be qualified for success.
knowledge is on the move and so are we, we shouldn't settle for less or try to assume we've known enough. Always should we strive for more
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If Your Celebration Doesn't Depict Christ, Then It's Not Christmas
Amazed, I watched Dennis proclaim from the wooden podium, his countenance conveying the burning zeal within his heart. As I beheld all that was happening, floods of joy overwhelmed my soul and somehow, this euphoria found an expression as goose bumps erupting all over my body.
“Merry Christmas to you all. Have you heard about the king in a manger?” As that question bellowed out of Dennis’ mouth, it rang a bell in my brain and like the opening of pages, memories from two years ago flashed through my brain within seconds.
***
“Hi! I will be hosting a Christmas party by 4 p.m. at Hashtag Events Center. I am sure you know the date so I don’t have to bug myself telling you. Be my guest.” Dennis announced to me.
“Thanks but I won’t be there.” I replied.
“What’s wrong with you Rancher? No one turns down my invitation. This is a party most youths in town rush to, even the uninvited pleads with the guards to let them in and that is because I always provide maximum satisfaction weaved into loads of fun. Count yourself lucky to be invited.” Dennis bragged but his words couldn’t convince me.
Dennis and I were course mates in the university; many times I wondered how we were able to cope with his pride. He would seize the slightest opportunity to brag about being the only son of a famous senator and he wouldn’t hesitate to run down who ever tried to exalt himself above him, so, many persons kept their cool around him.
I had seen many proud people but Dennis was king of them all. It seemed he bathed himself in pride and every 25th of December was the day for him to further show off his father’s wealth by hosting a massive party, which I saw as the devil’s trap to divert the hearts of many youths from the true essence of Christmas.
I had heard lots of stories about this party: it was a web where many ladies lost their virginity, youths drank to stupor, worldly music and dance steps were used to celebrate the birth of Christ. I know two ladies from my neighborhood who got pregnant as a result of that party and whenever I remember one of them named Susan, my heart bleeds because she lost her life to the cold hands of death when she attempted abortion.
“Thanks but I don’t celebrate the way you do.” I declared.
“How dare you decline an invitation from the only son of a senator?” he roared and immediately the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart that I needed to preach to him. I had done this several times during our school days but it yielded no positive result. I was determined to grab this opportunity and boom, an idea popped up within my spirit.
“Do you know the famous king who slept in a manger?” I inquired and that grabbed his attention.
“A king in a manger? Why on earth will he do that?” he queried in bafflement.
“His action was a product of his love for his children who had gone astray.” I disclosed. He wanted to know more so I continued.
“The only way to get his children back was to go through a manger so he stripped himself of his honor and went into the manger.”
“Wow! That must be an extraordinary love. I wish my dad loved me that way. Please tell me, who is this king?” he inquired.
“He wasn’t proud, rather he humbled himself. He was born in stable and laid in a manger just to show us true love. His name is Jesus.” I declared and that was the turning point in Dennis’ life as he gave his life to Christ. He cancelled his party and joined me in a campaign to announce the true essence of Christmas. That became our tool to combat the immoral appetite that consumes the hearts of many, leading to reckless behaviors during Christmas.
We embarked on online campaigns and many persons also keyed into our vision. We extended the love Christ showed us to the less privileged, we went on orphanage outreaches, hospital evangelism and bible reading challenges to dig more into the love of Christ for us. In addition to all these, we also organized a prayer network to intercede for souls during Christmas.
It’s been two years now and watching Dennis preach the same message I preached to him gives me joy unspeakable. What a great transformation! He ended his charge with this quote:
IF YOUR CELEBRATION DOESN’T DEPICT CHRIST, THEN IT’S NOT CHRISTMAS. That quote has been the burning passion conveying souls to Christ
Take a stand against domestic violence (One of my experiences)
When I was done cooking and cleaning up the kitchen around 9pm that night, I started hearing a faint shout from the next compound.
The shout became more audible. I looked through the kitchen window and saw the woman run into that room. The light is always on and has a see through curtain. I think they use it for packing stuff.
The man was throwing slaps and stuff at his wife.
I was shocked.
I have heard rumours in the past about the man beating his wife, but I am not always around to hear estate gists, save for ones the gate man tells me when I chill with him.
One thing kept ringing in my ear. The man was shouting.
"Who are you? Who are you to be talking when I am talking? Who are you? Who are you?"
I heard "Who are you?" more times than I can remember.
I had to shout from my window that he shouldn't kill her. Their neighbors were already banging on their door.
All through that night, I kept thinking about that question, "Who are you?"
I realized something.
For any man to raise his hand on his wife or partner, there must be a fundamental flaw in the man's mind and their union.
By asking who your wife/partner was at the time you're beating her, simply shows you don't even recognize who is there with you. You no longer see yourself in her.
I was so sick in my head that night.
I don't know why people do these things. It's just too sad to imagine. And this goes for the man and woman, whoever may be perpetrating the act.
Don't physically harm someone who loves you. Please.
Some Transformational ideas that have helped me
RIGHT NOW is the time to set the foundation to transform your life in 2021.
I thought I’d share with you some transformational ideas that have helped me live a ridiculously happy, successful, fulfilling, abundant life.
Probably you are like me and have thesame ideas and they have been working for you. In that case, cheers!
You might also have ideas that do not tally with mine but you find fulfilment in them... Cheers! to you too. But you can still adopt mine in addition and probably enjoy the plus plus benefits.
If you are currently going through difficult moments and you fill like there is no hope, I'm here to tell you that there are brighter days ahead. Be comforted and adopt the working ideas. At least they work for me, you can try them out yourself.
I believe there is a God… a greater power out there that loves us and wants to help us reach our full potential.
I believe our greatest joy comes from reaching for our full potential in every area of our life, every day. It’s the journey to greatness that is the reward, not greatness itself.
I believe our deepest sadness and anger comes from being sidetracked from that journey, where we spend our time, our energy, our money on things that don’t contribute to our journey of greatness.
I believe that demanding perfection of ourselves and others is folly. We are human and will make mistakes, fall short, and hurt others. Because of this patience, kindness, compassion and forgiveness are essential. Each day is a gift to begin with a clean slate.
I believe that everything we need to win, to be fulfilled, to reach our full potential is already all around us. We just have to open our eyes and our hearts and have the courage to grab it.
I believe that success in our journey is not possible without the love, support, and guidance of others… and that those people are ready and willing to help us.
I believe that our external world is a reflection of our internal world. The things we think and most desire are already in our life. If we want a new life, we simply change our internal world - our thinking, our beliefs, our feelings.
I believe that most people live far beneath their privileges and potential because we fail to expect and ask for greater things.
I believe that we are creators. We have the power to create our own feelings, or own energy, our own reality.
I believe that our powers of creation are given to us to serve, lift, love and bless others. As we create blessings for others, we are raised up higher than we dreamed possible.
I believe that we are each unique, rare, special and wonderful beyond imagination. Each of us is needed in this world. Each of us is more valuable than all the material wealth in the universe.
These ideas are woven into every course, every program, every business venture I do. It is the core part of who I am.
I'm not going to be that strict to say that you must follow or believe in my ideas but I'm happy I have the privilege to tell you that it worked for me, it is most likely to work for any individuals that take it in with all seriousness of heart just like I've done and still doing. Take it as a testimony from me rather than a motivation or you can choose to see it as both testimony and motivation. In that way, you might find inspiration that would get you prepared for a greater 2021.
Cheers! to a brighter 2021
There's no excuse for Laziness
God doesn't like lazy People. Some people think they can cure failure with louder amen and 'I receive it' affirmation.
They believe they can pray themselves into success! Such a theological misconception!Prayer is the key. But no key can open a lock unless there's an effort to get the padlock open. Efforts like knowing which door to open, which lock to open and which not to open is paramount. Throughout the pages of the Holy book, God has never befriended a lazy and indolent and do-nothing sluggard. For instance, God sent the manna in the wilderness but the Israelites had to go out to pick the manna.
Whoever remained indoor died of hunger. Again, God used Moses's rod to divide the red sea so they could cross over. Whoever refused to walk was killed by the Egyptians. The nature of God is that of a hard worker.
God worked for 6 days straight and rested on the seventh day. That kind of God is not lazy. There's no amount of speaking in tongues that will bring you success if you're lazy and feeble. If you sow a seed for instance, and continue to pray for the seed instead of watering the seed, it will die. No matter how you pray, the seed will die because you're not obeying the law that guides such natural phenomenon!
Jesus for instance recruited disciples that were hardworking. These guys were doing their mundane businesses even before Christ came calling. They were Jewish. Practicing Judaism at that time but were not sleeping in the synagogue speaking all the temple idiolect but some were on the sea fishing and hustling. So you need to match your prayers with action.
Infact is figurative when Jesus said watch and pray! You're to be the salt of the world. You're commanded to be the light. A light must shine. It takes effort for light to dispel darkness. It is not a mere amen.
Be industrious. Faith without work is dead. Yes dead!
**But if you think you have failed, instead of living a fake life;** Go back and start it over. It is more honorable to start it over than to fake it. Being a mathematician, I can't count the number of times I had to start solving a particular equation over and over just so I can get it right.
Surprisingly, the glittering image of a fake life is ephemeral. It is a facade of life actually!
In retrospect, the way and manner in which the social media frenzy has made people to fake their lives is scary. No long grammar. You're doing yourself. Old age will come and your eyes will ooze tears whenever you hold a smartphone. Only then will you find yourself trying to live it real at the exit of life!
Put your pride and ego aside and get to work. Your pride won't pay your bills. Your ego won't feed you. Infact statistics show very few people get rich and remain rich through inheritance.
Bottom line, no matter how heavy your parent's account is, you better get to work.
After all your father's height is not your height. No matter how tall your grandfather is, you need to grow your own height. There is nothing like a shared purpose.
You have a purpose. Living a fake life is not part of it.
Good day friends, make a change today!
who gives birth in a Manger?!
****Disclaimer:**** ***This is a work of fiction I have put together to commemorate the birth of Christ as Christmas draws near. This article is purely born out of fiction. Hope you enjoy it.***
'Hurry Rancher! We'll be late for the passover if you delay'.
That was sister Phoebe. We were already on our way to the cathedral when I felt the urge to ease my bowels. She suggested we rushed there so I'd get to use the restroom but I quibbled about how I'd get my clothes soiled before getting to the building.
At home, I was supposed to be out of the bathroom by now but there was a problem
'Rancher!'
I heard her squeal as her footsteps drew closer up the staircase. I'd be in serious trouble if sister Phoebe finds out I'd damaged the liquid dispenser switch.
'I'm here!'
I hurried out of the bathroom as I murmured out the words. She was just getting to the last slide of the stairs. She looked me over as if to ascertain I hadn't done something else asides easing my bowels.
'did you use water?'
'of course!'
I must look like a criminal at the moment but she needn't find out the damage done yet.
'let's head back to church. We'll be late remember?'
I raised a finger pointing at the door, trying so hard not to give anything away with my voice. She gave one last look at the bathroom door and turned to descend the stairs. I followed her with quiet strides.
'We should get candles from Catherine on our way back from the cathedral'
When I didn't get a response from her, I raised my head to see what fascinated her.
'sister Phoebe...'
'shhhh...!'
She covered my mouth and we crept stealthily towards the direction of the faint flame.
There were three men clad in white. They weren't dressed like the town's people so it was obvious they were visitors. They turned at the intersection separating the residential area from the market, where they were headed, I couldn't tell but sister Phoebe seemed occupied with focusing on them over the evening program we should be in church for.
'Rancher'
'yes'
'can you see what I see?'
'I can see'
'maybe they are spies'
'what would that mean?'
'shhhh. We need to follow them and figure out why they are here'
No! This wasn't part of the plan. Wednesday evenings were meant for the passover and that was it.
'sister Phoebe, we can't...!'
'shhhh. We're almost getting to them. They shouldn't know we're following them'
She gently lifted her palms off my mouth. I surrendered and trudged behind her in defeat.
They were heading towards Easton? They didn't come for us afterall.
'see, they're leaving. We should...'
'one more word from you and I'd peg your lips!'
She interjected with a frown.
We followed these three odd men until we got to the outskirts of our town. We'd trekked a long way but they didn't seem like they'll be resting anytime soon. A closer look at them made me observe they were old men, the frailty on their faces wasn't obvious in their strides.
With Easton behind us, it turned out we were getting closer to the entrance of Bethlehem. The noise from the people had gone ahead of them to give us a warm welcome.
Bethlehem was always in a frenzy. People were hurrying into and out of the town gate and it was very easy for the three men clad in white to mix up with the people moving into the town. We joined the throng and struggled to keep up with the chaos. They soon turned to a lone path and we followed wearily behind. By now, sister Phoebe appeared tired herself.
We saw a dim lit cottage in the distance and sister Phoebe nudged me in its direction as it seemed like where they were headed. In front of the cottage, they put out their fire lamp, kept the stick on the paved floor in front of the cottage then turned aside and walked briskly to the back.
We stood and watched them from a distance. We walked to the front of the cottage when they turned to the side and edged closer in their direction from there.
We could see their footsteps under the bright light of the moon and we trailed it to find them.
'look!'
I cried out in awe as I saw a large pig snorting above its trough.
The three men were somewhere close to the pig. They weren't alone this time, there was a young man and woman who stood beside them. They took turns to present something to the young woman and bent a little as if to examine something beside her. As the third man left her front to stand beside his colleagues, my eyes caught the cute little baby wrapped in swaddling clothes
**'who gives birth in a Manger?!'**
Each new day is a chance for new resolution
Regardless of your circumstances, begin each and every day of the 12 months with a smile, hope and expectations. You are no longer dishonest yourself, if you continue like this, you would make an outstanding and extra ordinary person.
Every day, restate your desires and your selections for your new, thrilled and worthwhile life. At the equal time, be open to new ideas and opportunities, and for techniques to acquire your goals.
You don’t have certainly one threat to carry out a selection or reap a goal. If you failed to carry them out, you don’t choose to wait for the opening of the next year. You can make a new decision each and every day, and you can try harder each and every day, if you failed in your first, 2nd or even 3rd attempt.
There are no boundaries on making new preferences and forming new goals, and there are no boundaries on when to begin doing new things. Every day is outstanding for making a resolution and a new beginning.
Every day is a new beginning and the commence of your new life.
The question is whether you work to accomplish what you determined and promised yourself. This is most important. What’s the use of making alternatives and promises, but no longer following them through?
Do you make New Year Resolutions?
If you do, do you strive to elevate them out?
If you start to raise them out, do you persevere till you accomplish them?
It is handy and effortless to make New Year Resolutions, or any other choice at any special time of the year. Often, they are made in response to some emotion. However, human beings quite soon, lose the motivation and enthusiasm, and proceed residing the same variety of life, relent on doing some thing to enhance them.
This is why you choose out to make resolutions and repeat them each and every day. It is no longer sufficient to kingdom them besides a doubt once, when the New Year begins. It would be a specific questioning to write them down on an effortless sheet of paper, on the show off of your computer, or on your smartphone, so you can see them, seem to be at them, and work on them each and every day.
You opt for to repeat your resolutions each day, with considerations and faith, and be inclined to do the things it needs to accomplish them. You decide to achieve success, happiness and health, not to be decided by what conditions you live. This frame of decisions would set off your unconscious thinking to help you and to encourage you.
Take advantage of the beautiful day now and make new resolutions then try to accomplish them.
Be the good boss
The feeling of getting to work or being under someone that puts your interest at heart is undisputably the best feeling in the world. When you are working with or under an understanding boss that doesn't unreasonably become nagging at everything you do or at anytime, you will most likely put in your best and bring out the best yield.
When you as an employee or student unluckily gets to have and work under a nagging boss who feels he or she always have the power to control you, neglect you, looks down at every effort you try to make, you will probably or let me say 'definitely' get frustrated and feel underated. In these kind of state, you may likely begin to build up low self-esteem and that could result to depression. Now tell me, why would any boss at all want to send his or her subject into depression?
I have had the experience, I understand the feeling, the pain and the disturbances that come up when you are working under someone; a boss who doesn't appreciate your efforts and looks down on every impression you try to make. It's so sadden. I had to make a choice, it was either I choose to be happy by quiting the job or remain there for the money while getting molested emotionally every working day. I chose happiness and quitted. It wasn't an easy experience since I needed the cash I was getting from there after school hours to take care of my fees. But I unregretably made the best decision of my life. I was hired few days after by a compassionate boss and with a better pay.
It was after I started to work with my new boss that I began to understand the impacts of boss's attitude on his/her worker. I became more dedicated, put in my best everything became better. I could now head to work proudly without the fear of getting shouted at unreasonably.
**Qualities of a good boss**
You don't have to be told before you recognize a good boss. A good boss is not a control freak. Let me controversially assert that everyone in this life in one way or the other has a boss. Yes, I know that sounds strange or dumb to some people but let me explain. Once you are working in an organization that is not yours, I believe you would agree with me that you must be under someone who is definitely your boss. If you own an organization, the government is definitely your boss. Or even if you don't want to agree with me on that, for those of us that believe in supernatural creator, I believe that you know of a fact that God has the position of a Boss in your life. But does God act and always try to prove to us humans that He is the boss? No! If He did, we would have been sacked over and over again from this life due to our numerous deliberate and subconscious offences. But He is always compassionate towards us.
A good boss is full of empathy for his subjects, a good boss create confidence and inculcate it into his or her workers, a good boss corrects mistakes and doesn't always play the blame game, a good boss asks questions and doesn't claim to be the Mr Know All, a good boss makes work interesting to the workers and doesn't always try to prove that he or she is the Hard Guy. Finally, a good boss is a good leader, always leading with example. Be the boss you wish to have.
**Benefits of being a good boss.**
Being a good boss is less stressful as compared to being the hard guy. Let's look at it from this perspective; as an easy going boss, you get to smile more often at work which is a good thing for your health status. You get to shout less often but only when necessary. Emotional disturbances would drastically reduce, you can even easily discuss you problems with you employees. After all they say; 'A problem shared is a problem half solved'.
A good boss is nothing less than a motivation to his subjects or employee. They will definitely see you as the leader that you are. They would want to work hard so you could pass them that cheering compliment as you always do. They would want to impress just to see you smile at them. They would want to build a very good relationship with you and accept you as their boss. You would enjoy their loyalty and respect and they would like to place their trust in you.
When motivation is sufficient enough from the good boss, what should be the expected outcome? It's increased yield and great revenue. The employees would put in their all for the growth of the establishment where they earn their lively hood in addition to love and respect. The employees would be loyal to the company and bring out the best in them. In this way, Talents would be discovered Wich is a plus to the boss and the company at large.
You see, it is not so hard to be the good boss, it takes Goodwill and love for humanity. Try to be the good Boss and communicate the message of love to the world for a peaceful coexistence.
Thanks for reading
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Causes of disharmony between couples and possible solutions
The way husband and wife interact with each other count a lot. Some couples stay in the same house but they are not in good harmony. Some live like cat and rats. Their homes are a hell on earth instead of heaven. This is not good. Let us look as some causes and solutions to disharmony in the home.
**THE CAUSES OF DISHARMONY IN THE HOME**
**TEMPERAMENT**; this is in-born habit. The way people react or feel toward thing or other. There is no couple who have the same temperament. In most cases they are opposite to each other. Some husband may be hardworking, authoritative, talkative and indecent wife the wife is easy going, gentle thinker and decent. Thus, the way they do things and feel will be contrary to each other.
**MISCONCEPTION ABOUT MARRIAGE;** they may have wrong view about marriage. Some may think marriage is only about sex, child bearing, abstaining from house chores, provision of all needs, and enslaving the wife or husband. Including absent of sorrows. Regret and bad action comes when these things are not seen.
**BAD COUNSEL;** this is receiving bad advices from parents, relatives and friends. Some people can give a couple wrong advice with aim to cause misunderstandings in the family, debar the progress and destroy their joy.
**FAILURE IN DUTIES;** when the couples fail to do their expected duties in the home. The husband does not perform his duty as head and wife refuses to be helper but head.
**ENVIRONMENT;** circumstances and people who surround the home can contribute to sourness of the home. They do it by intruding to the affairs of the home. Some parents want to be dictating what new couple must do in their family.
**SOCIAL AND ECONOMIC SITUATUON IN THE COUNTORY OF RESIDENCE;** the way people living around the family behave and change in cost of living can cause disagreement.
**CHANGES IN STATUS AND HEALTH;** a person’s position and health could change. A rich person could be become poor. Likewise and healthy person may become a sick person.
**UNFAITHFULNESS IN MARITAL LIFE AND BAD HABITS;** some may be having sexual intercourse with another person. The partner may be drunkard, thief, lazy or drug addict and so on.
**THE POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS TO DISHARMONY IN THE HOME**
Couples can overcome disharmony in their homes by the following measures;
**STUDY YOUR PARTNER’S TEMPERAMENT;** you have to study and know your partner’s temperament. Then try to avoid anything which will cause conflict between you and your spouse. It is impossible to change other person temperament totally. You have to endure the weakness of your partner.
**HAVE THE RIGHT CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE;** You must understand that marriage is an entire institution on its own that you can never graduate from but you must study carefully the whole courses. Marriage is lifelong thing which involves endurance.
**REJECT BAD COUNSEL;** do not accept bad counsels either from parents, relatives and friends including godfathers and other influential people. Do not compare your home with your neighbor’s family; remember your home is unique.
**DON’T ALLOW SOCIAL AND ECONOMIC CHANGES DISTABILIZE YOUR FAMILY;** do not allow the social and economic situation in society bring disharmony to your house. Learn to adjust to the new life within your means. Wife makes sure you manage what your husband gives you and do not demand high things. Husband continues to trust your wife.
**ENDURE ANY CONDITION YOU FIND YOURSELF;** be ready to endure any condition you might find yourself either in status or health. Remember your vow on wedding day. “for better for worse”. Your love is best demonstrated when condition changes in life.
**BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR LIFE PARTNER;** learn to be faithful to your partner in sexual activity, money, words and in deeds. Do not indulge in adultery. Satisfy each other with sex. If your partner has bad habit or indulge in a sin, do not revenge nor try to force your spouse to leave it. Continue to show the partner love and endure. Show your mate his/her sin with respect and pray for victory for the partner.
**AVOID COMMUNICATION GAP;** learn to communicate with each other, you can do this by discussing whatsoever you want to do with your partner; do not hide anything from each other. Disclose your plan to your partner. If you hear anything about your spouse, ask and find out the truth from him/her.
**FORGIVE AND TRUST EACH OTHER;** make sure you trust and desire to forgive each other. Believe what your partner says to you. Overlook the wrongs he/she might do to you. Do not have record or catalogue of offences against your partner. Accept your mistake and guilt with misunderstanding between yourselves without third party.
**RESPECT ONE ANOTHER;** it is common to hear some husbands complain that their wives disrespect them. This disrespect are shown through disobedience, insult, mocking, harsh speech and abusing. The wives too accuse their husbands of enslaving them, dishonoring and not listening to them including neglecting their advices.
Disrespect comes as result of irresponsibility, pride, maltreatment, lack of sympathy, ingratitude, disappointment and performing below expectation.
Respect which is a mark of regards for others can be earn by being responsible, hardworking, courteous, truthful, humble, selflessness, not demanding undue respect, sympathetic, and loving.
***If there's something I have left out and you feel like sharing with us, please feel free to do that in the comment section. Expect me in your notification with another awesome article.***
Thanks for your time.
The status and responsibilities of the members in the home
Home is established after wedding. The new couples enter a new life. A life which they have to llive until death parts them. The life which is fill with ups and downs.
Home is ought to be joyful. Couples are to leave their parents and cleave to each other but sometimes the long affecti9on for one’s parent makes if difficult.
One of the things which cause unhappiness in the home is lack of knowledge of position and duties of husband and wife in the home. Let’s take a look at them below;
**HUSBAND AS THE HEAD OF THE HOME**
This headship means the husband should have the final say in the family’s decision. He is responsible and accountable to lead and guide the home. He needs to guide all the household in physical and every other aspect. His authority should not make him a dictator. The husband as the head should be opened to suggestions and joint decision with his wife and other members of the home. This should not give the husband guarantee to suppress the wife.
**The duties of the husband are as follows;**
****Husband must love his wife;**** he should have agape love. This is a volitional act of mind and appreciation of its object. He ought to love her in every condition. He must be ready to sacrifice himself for her. He should desire to know her interest, likes, dislikes, strengths, weakness, problems, needs, expectation and goals. He will not be bitter to her. Do loving deeds to her.
****Husband ought to provide for home;**** it is the duty of husband to provide food, home and dress for the household. He the breadwinner, the care must include medical and security. Trouble often comes when wife becomes the breadwinner. She will like to look down upon the husband even though it is not supposed to be so. Therefore husband must strive to feed his house.
****Husband needs to honour his wife;**** the husband must respect his wife. He should realized that she is an intellectual being. He must not abuse and mock her in the public. Her right must be given to her. The things which she should do allow her to do it. Treat her as the most beautiful, decent and wise woman in the world.
****Husband has to be considerate too his wife;**** husband ought to know that women are weaker than men both physically and emotionally. It is easy for them to be tired and distressed. As such, the husband ought to encourage her in time of distress. Likewise, he should assist her in doing heavy and hard work.
**WIFE AS A HELPER AND ASSISTANT IN THE HOME**
Wife is an helper in the home. She can do this by;
Consoling her husband in time of distress
Giving him good advice,
Assisting her husband in meeting the needs of the family, particularly if she is in the working class,
Manage well the things the husband gives her for the up keeping of the home,
Stand by him in time of opposition and trials in life,
Protect him from danger, by alerting him of problem which is at hand ad assist him to escape,
Reveal his short comings to him. Wither the one he sees or people say considering him.
**The duties of the wife in the home are as follows;**
****Be submissive to her husband:**** the wife should feel free to allow her husband take decisions concerning the family and should not try to be a control freak. The submission should be in everything. This is shown in habitual obedience to him in things not contrary to societal ethics. She ought to let her husband have the final responsibility of decisions. Discuss whatsoever she wants to do with him and seek his approval before doing it. She has to put herself wholly to disposal of her husband. She must be subject to loving husband.
The submission should not be mere outward form but of inner attitude. Submission does not make wife to be slave. Submissiveness permits the wife to tell her husband when he makes wrong or unwise judgment. However, she ought to do it with respect and honesty.
****Love her husband;**** the wife ought to have sincere love for her husband’s being and not for the material things which her husband has. A person cannot be submissive to a person whom he does not love. It is easy for women to love men, because they are naturally built to loving.
****Wife has to take care of her home;**** in the case where there is no house help, she needs to do it by seeing to its cleaning. By sweeping the rooms and arranging the items in the house in proper places. The children must be bathed and clothed properly. Food is prepared well on time. She should see to washing and mending the husband and children’s clothes. Husbands should not hesitate to help their wives in carrying out these duties.
****Honour and promote her husband;**** she can do it by behaving well and dressing modestly. She should speak with wisdom and interact well with co-workers and neighbours.
**CHILDREN AS A GIFT TO HOME**
Children are expected after wedding. Everybody loves to have children. In fact, many homes have broken for lack of children. Some homes are not happy because their children are bad. Some desire to have kids, but not ready for the responsibilities. Some wish to have boys and girls and when they fail, trouble start in the home. Some long for children to get fame, power and wealth. Children are gifts to home. The gift who must be cared for by the parents.
**Duties of the children are as follows;**
Children have duties to perform regard their parents and siblings.
**To parents**
****They must obey their parents;**** this is doing what their parents ask them to do. They have to do all things which are not contrary to good ethics.
****They have to honour their parents;**** this means to respect them. They ought to strive to do things which will not bring disgrace to them. These can be shown in their speeches to them and reaction to their instructions, their appearances before them must be in humility. If parents offend them, they should reveal their grievances in humble tone. They should not shout at them nor abuse their parents.
****They ought to take care of their parents;**** this is needed most when they are getting old. The children have to provide essential physical need for them such as clothes, food, houses and medical care.
****Assist them in home works;**** children can hel by sweeping, cooking, dressing home, washing and trading including caring for the younger ones. Desire to stop being dependent and long to b self-sufficient and helpful.
****They have to behave well;**** this is doing the good teachings their parents have taught them. It is their duty to accept parental disciplines without grudges nor should they look at the parents as wicked persons when they correct them.
**To siblings**
This is duty to brothers and sisters who have the same parents with them
****Show them true love by caring for them;**** The ones who are elevated and stronger should take care of the less privileged or weak siblings.
****Have healthy relationships devoid of envy and hatred;**** it is not possible that all the children be thesame status. One can be elevated above the other. They should not be jealous and hate the person who is higher. The blessed person should not oppress the other.
****Encourage them to develop their potentials and warn them of dangers;**** Sometimes siblings may have a certain talent and they are not eager to develop it because they feel lazy, discouraged or have no fund and resources to do it, The sibling has to assist the talented one to develop it by words of encouragement and provide fund or resources at his disposal for him. Whenever you hear of the dangers coming, let the brother or sister know before it comes. If you are in position to protect, do it.
*In loving one another, our dream of a world devoid of violence will surely come into existence.*
**Feel free to check out my other posts and expect more of good ones from me.**
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The parental care
Parents have work to do after getting children. Many parents have failed in this, thus woes, shame, and unrest mind come instead of blessing and pride.
This failure comes due to lack of essential knowledge, love of wealth, laziness, accepting wrong philosophy and doing it wrongly.
Some parents do not have the right knowledge about parental care. It is humanly compulsory for parents to care and train their children. The desire to get rich makes some parent neglect the caring of their children. They use all the day trading. Children’s care is burdensome to them. This makes some fathers and mothers avoid their children and therefore deny them the opportunity of being trained by their own parents.
The philosophy of some people on parents and children relations contributes to the inefficiency. Some feel that parents should e rulers and children servants to their parents.
Others say that parents should be servants to the children. They should not control the children but obey them. Some look at child’s discipline as cruelty. They feel parents rob their children of their fundamental rights (freedom to do what you like) by correcting them when they are wrong.
However, some people are doing their duties but in a wrong way. They do them by pampering, harming and corrupt their children, either verbally or physically. These are done by giving them bad food, not having bed for them, not clothing them properly, not caring about their health and extreme discipline. Examples are giving them whatsoever they like even though it is harmful, cutting them with knife, using them for hawking all the time and leaving them to ram about without caution. These are not good and commendable on the part of the parents.
**PARENTS HAVE TO PROVIDE THE BASIC NEEDS OF THE CHILDREN**
The basic needs of children are physical, mental, emotional and social.
****Physical needs;**** this embraces food, clothing, health and shelter. Parents ought to provide good food, cloths to cover their bodies, take care of them when they are sick and see they have house for them to live in.
****Mental development;**** parents should take time to help their children develop mentally. Have time to talk with them, to learn what they are thinking about and to tell them things they would like to know. Send them to school when they grow up and provide whatsoever they need for their education.
****Emotional development;**** this have to do with their emotions. Parents need to be to them to make them feel happy. They should show them love equally and make them feel they are wanted in the home. Parents ought to help them control their emotions. Appreciate what they do well and for you. Communicate with them when they are away from you through letter, phone and visit.
****Social needs;**** children need to know how to behave in the community and interact well with other people. Parents ought to teach them how to respect elderly people, listen quietly when people are speaking and answer with a proper tone. They have to learn how to greet and show interest in visitors. Likewise, they should be friendly and love to share their play things, parent must encourage them to be punctual, helpful appreciative and have attitudes of thankfulness. They need to know the necessity to assist the handicapped and share with the less privileged. Allow them to attend and participate in wholesome social gathering.
**PARENTS MUST DISCIPLINE AND TRAIN THEIR CHILDREN**
Discipline involves instruction, training and punishment, you have to instruct and train children before you punish them. Punishment comes when they refuse to obey instruction and follow the training given.
This can be done by expecting them to honor and obey instructions from you. Likewise expect them to contribute to the home. You have to instruct and advise them. Assist them to develop good habits and good relationship with others. Praise them for good relationship with others, praise them for good work and be a good example to them.
Let your demand be clear and specific. Likewise let them know the reason for punishing them. The punishment must be prompt and enough to be felt. Do not hurt them as you punish them. There should be no form of physical abuse or violence. Avoid discipline in anger and cursing your children. Do not be partial in your punishment. Do not demand for many things at the same time. Punishment could be corporal and word rebuke.
Continue to discipline a child until he leaves or stops the bad habits. Let the child pay back the stolen things or go and apologize if he offended somebody.
Avoid poor ways of discipline such as making idle and unethical threats, cursing and inconsistence in discipline. Do not boast of your children’s disobedience, neither should you praise them when they are doing wrong.
Do not be too busy that you would not have time to discipline your children. Do not leave child discipline for your husband or wife alone. Good discipline brings rest of mind, joy and pride to the parents. It makes a child wise, forsake foolish things and walk in the right path when they grow.
Children are treasured gifts from nature and should be nuctured and well trained against the future for a better world.
***Thanks for reading. You can check out my other inspiring articles and also, there are more to come.***
Have a nice day.
Living in good harmony with in-laws and relations
In-laws are the parents and relatives of your spouse. Relations are people related to the couple either by birth or extended family. Since a couple ecame one, they cannot separate from their in-laws and relations. Infact, they need to be embraced without any discriminations.
Just like in every sphere of life, there are both bad and good in-laws and relations. What we want to consider is the right reactions to either type of in-laws we may have and the in-laws atitude toward their son and daughter in-laws.
**The respomsibility of son and daughter in-laws**
Accept them as your own people. Have sincere love for them.
Give them due respect and have good interaction with them
Have joint care for them
Never allow them to direct your family affairs
Utilize their good advices and politely reject their admonitions that doesn’t seem right to you
Avoid reporting all the misunderstandings with your partner to them or everything that happen in the family
If they have to stay with you, strive to have a separate apartment for them. Have visiting time to them.
Do not love them more than your partner
Do not have love affair with any of them.
If any of them is trying to make you have unbecoming relation with him/her, reject firmly.
Be peacemaker if any of the relatives have dispute with your partner
Do not make it as habit to run to them when you have every single misunderstandings or dificulties with your spouse
Welcome them to your house and entertain them as much as you can afford.
If any of your inlaws brought accustions against your partne to you, do not judge nor take side immediately. Appease the grieved person, then find out from your lover what actually happened. If your partner is guilty, let him/her know and encourage them to apologize. If the accuse is guilty with respect llet him or he know his/her faults.
Encourage your children to recognize, visit, assist and respect them.
**Responsibility of parents inlaws to son and daughter inlaws**
Accept them as your own son and daughter
Love and seek their progress physically and spiritually
Give them good advices and rebuke them when they do wrong
Do not take side when they have misunderstanding, try to settle and be peacemaker.
Do not try to control their family nor perform their family duties for them.
Do not seek to know all the things they were doing their home
Do not plan to harm them but seek to protect them
Do not maltreat the wife.
Give the husband due respect by not treat him as novice
Do not encourage the to divorce nor ask any of them to pack their load and stay with you because of quarreling unless, in the case of physical abuse
Do not make undue demands from them. Remenber they have family of their own to cater for. Accept whatsoever assistance they can give to you. Never accuse any of them, when they cannot help you as you want.
If any one offend you, call him/her and settle it. Whenever you too offend them, do not feel ashame to apologiz. Do not have any grudge against any of them nor try to revenge for the wrong they have committed against you or your family and son or daughter
Keep them informed about opportunities open for their progress and assist them to get benefit out of them. For an example, job ot investment which can help them earn for their living.
Alert them of any danger coming against them and in teir surrounding. So that they will escape from the peril
When they become widow or widower, do not rob them of their inheritances in the family. Likewise, refran from torturing the widow nor give them wrong accusations. Do not drive her out of her husband’s house and take their children including her husband’s properties. Take care of her and their children.
Words are powerful, they can change people. Nature has endowed us with the ability to produce and utilize these powerful tools. But the question now is, are we going to use our words to hurt others or use them to heal and preach the message of love for a better world? I chose the later which is why I'm always writing and sharing these articles with you. And I believe you are doing yours in your own little way.
Let Love lead.!
Thanks for reading
Coping with a corrupt life partner
You cannot know all the habits of your partner before wedding. After marriage you will discover more of the short comings of your partner. Some may be hidden to you when you were on courtship. Others may develop after the wedding due to your behavior and environment. It is usually painful when you suddenly see those bad behaviors. You may have known those misbehaviors and have advised your spouse to refrain from them, yet they still indulge in them.
What will you do so that it will not affect your health or cause disharmony in your home? Here below are the 2 common ones and suggestions on how to tackle them.
**Sexual immorality**
This is partners who indulge in sexual intercourse with other person outside. It could be with single person, married, relations or beast. These are things you can do in such situation.
**Find out the cause:** it could be one of under listed reasons
a. The spouse is not satisfying them sexually at home.
b. It may be the beauty and dress of opposite sex outside
c. Parents and friends encouragements
d. They might be enticed
e. The flesh and lust could plunge people into it
f. Loneliness caused by not living together or too busy to have time talking together.
g. Response during sexual activity may not be satisfying
h. Lack of love in action
**Amend your ways:** if it is your behavior is the cause, apologize and change your habits
**Encourage your partner to disassociate from bad friends:** if your partner is moving with immoral people, encourage him/her to abstain from them. Stop going with them and reject their wrong advices.
**Free you spouse from loneliness:** try as much as possible to live together, discuss and play together to avoid loneliness.
**Be clean and dress well:** make sure your body is clean always. Dress modestly at home and outside. Dress and body must be free from bad odour
**Refuse enticements:** when somebody is enticing you or your partner get away from the person and do not accept his or her bait, alert and caution your mate.
**Refrain not in love making:** hinder your partner from making love to you whenever he/she has the urge. Do not grumble. Respond well as your partner wants during love affair.
**No publicity and fight:** do not talk about it in the public or go to fight the concubine. Talk to your partner and try to convince him/her
**Continue in your marital role:** try to be more loving and perform all your marital duties very well.
**Be hopeful:** be optimistic and never lose hope that your partner will change for good.
**Drunkenness**
This is drinking alcoholics in excess. Having a drunkard as life n partner is not delightful. They can bring disgrace and harm to the family. Likewise, it can result to property and disease. Children’s life could be ruined. It makes a person be unwise, nuisance to the society and lose reputation. This can be tackled by the following;
**Find out what makes him/her drink:** here are some reasons for drunkenness.
a. To take away sorrow and loneliness.
b. To enjoy life and be popular
c. To be bold and capable to commit a crime
d. Some friends enticed and encouraged people to do it
e. Some learnt it from childhood
f. Just the lust of flesh
**Make your partner happy:** try to make your partner happy always by doing the things he/she likes and chattering together
**Provide good food:** cook good food which will satisfy his appetite on time. Husband provide enough variety of food for the family.
**Meet sexual needs:** satisfy your partner sexually so that the urge will not make him drink to forget the lack.
**Be around always:** try to be around your spouse all the time to save the partner from feeling lonely and unwanted. You can do it by sitting and converse with him/her. You can have a walk or drive together call each other on phone when you were away.
**Avoid quarreling and neglect of duty:** do not fight when the partner got drunk. Perform your marital duties in the home and give special care despite disgrace and inconveniency he/she gives you.
**Educate your mate on evil of drunkenness**: let your sweet heart KNOW THE Bad consequences of drunkenness, such as hurt, disgrace and sickness like mental cases
**Advice your mate to disassociate with drunkards**: encourage your life partner to stay away from drunkards and places where alcohol is sold.
**Don’t give up:** do not give up or lose hope on your partners recovery from his/her current situation.
I hope we find peace within ourselves, with others especially our life partners and make our homes and the world at large a peaceful and conducive place for us all to live.
Thanks for reading.
My mum taught me an everlasting lesson without violence.
As a child growing up, my civil servant mum made sure a lot of things followed a particular routine and that included early morning devotion by 5:00am. The issue here was getting me to sleep early.
Since I became conscious as a human, I have remained a night crawler, going to bed really late and waking up early. I still get to function well with minimal sleep but my elder sister is always on my neck till date. She keeps telling me how I need to get more sleep as a growing child...a child in her early twenties. To my fellow last borns, we never really grow up in their eyes.
Back then, If my mum succeeds in getting me to lie in bed, then I can sleep early. But she also has a way of making this hard sometimes. Around 1:00am, she'll enter the children's room to kill mosquitoes. And surely like most mothers, she doesn't do it silently.
While sending down a heavy slap on my arm, back or shoulder depending on where the blood sucking mosquito perched, she would utter comforting words to me.
"This mosquito won't allow my child to sleep well."
"But mummy you're beating me."
"No, I'm beating the mosquito."
She is often kind not to switch on the light, but she comes in with her own unique torchlight. So after killing the mosquitoes, she stays back for some minutes to survey the room. This is where she will observe I have not removed the cobwebs in the room and how I've not cleaned the room for long.
Then she'll get a broom and try to do it right in the middle of the night. I would then have to wake up again and plead with her not to stress herself and promise to do it first thing in the morning.
After the above encounter, I don't need the spirits to tell me to sleep because once it is 4:00am, mum would start parading the house with her unique early morning songs. You'll just know time for morning devotion was getting close even if you're in the dreamland.
She doesn't stress herself with waking me up. I already know the normal thing. She starts singing and beating her homemade tambourine. Woe betide you if you don't get up and find your way to the sitting room. You'll be in her bad book for that day.
One day, I had enough and wanted to revolt. So I hatched a plan.
Half way into the morning devotion everyday, I would excuse myself and go to the toilet. I would lock the door from the inside and comfortably sleep off on the floor of the toilet. I only wake up when someone knocks on the door and then I would explain I was having a bad stomach ache.
This plan was working for me until that blessed day. Like they say, one day for the owner of the house.
I had excused myself as usual and entered the toilet to sleep. But then I didn't see the key inside the keyhole. I simply bolted the door and didn't care. I slept off and woke up after a rather unusual long time. I thought to myself; this one nobody came to knock today, hope all is well?
I tried to open the toilet but I couldn't. I bolted and unbolted again but nothing. Wow! I became pensive and started knocking on the door, but nobody answered me.
I knew I was in big trouble.
I sat there sobbing till the door was opened and I rushed out. My mum was just looking at me. I didn't need a magician to tell me she had already caught up with me. I quickly apologised with a puppy like face.
I stopped dodging morning devotions that day and many years later till now, whenever I am home for vacation or visits, I always join my mum no matter the time I went to bed.
Why am I sharing this?
Because it is important we realize that there are several ways we can teach lasting qualities and skills to our children. It is more effective showing them through actions, how good or bad a particular thing can be.
My mother taught me a lesson without tongue lashing, arguing or beating me up. It was a simple experience that has lasted with me for over 11 years now and I've never forgotten it. It is same with other lessons she taught me as a kid.
So here's an idea worth sharing with your friends and loved ones if you can; we can teach softly and correct gently. Every child counts and it is up to us, the adults in their lives to show them the right way to lead a better life as they grow up.
To parents, may grace continue to guide you as you navigate the murky waters of child training. And to future parents, may we obtain the grace to do right by our children when the time is right.
Thanks for reading.
My Karma returned to me so fast
It took me about three weeks before he finally agreed to our meeting. For the sake of professional courtesy and my persistence, he decided to grant me an audience.
I didn't want to give up easily. Everyone has been beaten hard this 2020 and personally, this meant a lot to me and I didn't want to lose it, so I was ready to try everything humanly possible. My meeting with him was for 11:00am but by 10:15am, I was already waiting in the reception area.
I anxiously crossed my legs and put up a facade of confidence. I noticed the secretary was feeling a little bit uneasy in her chair and looked pale, despite her beautifully made up face. I struck up a conversation and asked her what the matter was but she told me it was nothing.
After some minutes, a colleague of hers came out from an inner office and they were discussing in whispers but I managed to hear some of what they said. She had stained herself and needed a change of clothes. She was sick and on medication so it affected her flow. She never expected it.
She wanted to rush home and back to the office but she had no money for Taxi. Even her colleague didn't have enough when they checked the amount.
This was where I stepped in.
I couldn't leave their office as I was waiting for my appointment with their boss, so I offered to book Taxi for her and take care of the cost. She hesitated at first but her colleague nudged her and she accepted my offer.
I told her to make sure the Taxi driver won't end the ride when she got home. Since she won't waste time, let him keep it running, change destination and return to the office with her. She was super grateful.
Some minutes after she left, I was called in for the meeting. Immediately I sat down and exchanged pleasantries, the man wasted no time in repeating everything he told me on phone.
" I told you this your proposal can't work. I can't sign this for you because I've promised this to another person and he paid much. Unless you're willing to pay more than him. I like you and that's why I'm being open with you and even agreed to this meeting. If not, you know me too well."
I thanked him and we talked about random topics about our profession, tech, business, politics and other things to engage and soften his mind. After about 30 minutes in conversation, I raised the issue that brought me to his office again and he reaffirmed his stance.
When I saw he wasn't going to change his mind, I put back the documents in my envelope and continued to chat with him. When I got notified the Taxi has returned to the office, I bid him farewell and went out to pay the driver and head off.
His secretary thanked me greatly for footing her bills and asked why I looked moody. I briefly explained everything to her and she smiled.
"Give me your file and come back to the office with me."
Without argument, I gave her the file and followed her like an obedient sheep. I was already tired from the back and forth talk I had with her boss.
When we got back in, she told me to wait at the reception and she went into the man's office. About 10 minutes later, she came out smiling.
"He has signed the documents. You can proceed with your plans." She said.
I didn't know what to say or how to react. I thanked her profusely and apologized for not asking her name all along.
"What's your name, please pardon my manners."
She told me there was no need for me to know her name. My kind gesture was all that mattered and it spoke volumes for me.
That statement moved me deeply in my heart. I briefly went into the man's office, thanked him and came out. I offered to buy the secretary lunch whenever she wished and she agreed to take up the offer when next we see.
Her words have remained evergreen in my heart and I shared this experience because of that.
With your good deeds, doors will be opened for you even if you're the son of a nobody. Generosity and kindness opens doors.
And this is a story worth sharing with your friends, so they'll learn to pay it forward and invest their good deeds in our collective humanity.
Till we get to the Promised Land, I shall be waiting for when you will pass me a glass of water and thank God for the gift of grace for the race.
Finance in the home
Every home needs money for it's maintenance. It is essential for each home to struggle to have money for upkeep of the family. Likewise, the family ought to see that they spend their income wisely.
Money is one of the sources of misunderstanding and separation in the home. Therefore, Every home must know the right way to get money and manage it well.
**The right way of getting money**
1. Both the husband and wife should be self-employed or salary earning. They should not be lazy nor depend on somebody to meet their financial needs. They should not seek money through dubious means e.g. stealing, gambling and deceit. Wife should not engage in the work which will hinder her for doing domestic work and take care of their child. Husband too should not be busy that he will not have time to attend to his family.
2. They can make investments. This can be done by having business or farm and poultry. Buying shares from reliable companies or banks. Joining a cooperative groups. Insuring their lives and properties. They can lease their properties or build houses, by furniture, canopies and catering materials for tentage. Embark on investments marketable in your area, operated by people of integrity. And within your means. Do not hesitate to withdraw or stop investment when you see it does not improve your economy.
3. By saving some amounts for all the members of the family. It may be in the bank or thrifty. Banks have various savings facilities. Contact them to know the one you can use. Save in a reliable and well established bank and monitor well your saving by getting regular reports from the bank.
**The way to manage money**
**1. The couple ought to know how much money that come in for the family every month:** This means the husband should let his wife know how much he earns and the wife too must do the same. The wives are eager to know their husband's salary. While some husband hide it for what they called security. They think their wives can harm them or make budget to cover all. Some wives to do not disclose how much they earn to their husbands, so that the husbands will not fail in their responsibilities. This should not be.
**2. Regard the money as the family's money**: it is not just for husband nor the wife. Thus it must be spent for the family. Some wives feel that their salary should not be used for the family. They prefer to use it for themselves and extended family, particularly their parents. This should not be because your own family comes first.
**3. Decide together what you will use the money for:** it is essential to deduct some amounts for food, health, education, clothing, house bills for the family. Charity and community contributions including taxes and saving should be allocated. The rest can be spent on unforseen expenses.
**4. Strive to spend within your means:** This is try to see you do not spend more than you earn. Make sure you spend on actual basic needs than wants. Do not get loan except what to use it for is unavoidable and you cannot get it again. Do not borrow money for what you can leave for next month. If you want to get loan, make sure you will get something to pay it at the time you suppose to return it. Do not get loan without knowledge of your partner. Pay your debt before getting another.
**5. Be faithful in keeping joint account (common purse):** couples are advised to have joint account known as common purse. It is argued that it will solve problem of suspicion. It is natural for a woman to think the husband is telling lie when he says there is no money. Like wise it is a sign of oneness.
This joint account is keeping the salary of the couples together in one place. It can be in the bank, a box in the house or in the hand of the husband or wife.
Although it is an ideal thing, some people prefer not to have joint account because it can cause misunderstanding in the home. The habit of their partners in spending are unbecoming. Some wives or husbands loves to spend more money for their pa family than theirs, some people do not want to spend money nor assist the poor, some husbands.use their money for adultery, drinking, smoking and other things not beneficial for both parties. Likewise the wives spend the family money for frivolous things.
If your family decided to have joint account, be faithful to each other. When the money is in the bank, do not withdraw without the knowledge of your spouse. If you were keeper of the account, do not spend it without approval of your partner. When it is kept n the home, let your companion know when you take out of the purse. Do not oppose the withdraw from the purse when it will be used for beneficial purpose.
**6. Do not love money more than your** mate and children: some couples love money too much that they neglect their duties to the family. This is not healthy for family growth.
**7. Embark on projects you can finance:** do not allow friends and society force nor advice you to embark on projects which you cannot finance. Neither should you compete with other family. The other family may have more source of income than you.
**8. Do not ruin your partner's business:** if your mate has a business such as shop, company or any establishment, do not reck it down by reckless spending, borrowing and unhealthy advices. Your attitude towards the workers and customers must be encouraging, so that they will be willing to continue to work and buy from your spouse. Avoid foul speeches and bad habits. Be a peace maker between your partner and the workers.
**The growth of the family in every aspect including finance should always be the goal.**
**Let Love lead!**
Selfishness in children and ways to curb it.
As parents and guardians, we must inculcate in our children the habit of giving and sharing with others. When they imbibe these virtues,we never can tell how far-reaching the implementation can be.
**Some reasons children become selfish**.
As children grow older, they tend to pay more attention to themselves. This is natural because they're becoming more aware of who they are, and at the same time, going through cultural and social dynamics. But when their self-awareness turns into selfishness, it becomes something that should concern every parent. Some causes of selfishness in children include;
1. **Overindulgence**
Some parents overindulge their children because they want to avoid feeling guilty, and in the name of compensation or love. This can breed selfishness in the children
2. **Neglect**
When children feel neglected by parents, they can develop selfishness as a defence mechanism
3. **Lack of attention**
Children who lack emotional care, tend to become angry, depressed, or anxious. This could could cause them to recluse, focusing only on themselves and caring nothing about others.
4. **Jealousy**
Jealousy breeds selfishness in the children
5. **Acts of selfishness by people around**
When children are exposed to selfish traits of people around them, they could also become selfish.
6. **Lack of discipline**
Children can become selfish if they live in an environment where discipline and boundaries are not enforced.
7. **Improper awareness on social responsibility**
When children lack awareness of their social responsibilities towards others, they will become self-obsessed.
**Effects of selfishness in children**
Selfishness in children can have multiple harmful effects on them. For instance, it can prevent them from having healthy relationship with others because they will only be after what they can benefit and not what they can contribute to the relationship. Selfishness can also hurt their careers with poor work ethics. They can become greedy, covetous, tyrants or bullies. Selfishness can mar children character and progress in life.
**Curbing selfishness in children**
Selfishness is a negative character trait that shouldn't be accommodated in our lives. Parents must, therefore, do all in their power to nip it in the bud before it gets hold of their children's life.
To deal with the issue of selfishness in our children (especially at a time when society seems to be constantly promoting it), we must, ***one*** realize that selfishness is a problem in our children. ***Two***, decide it must stop. ***Three***, educate and raise our children to be virtuous. Teach them to generous, humble, respectful, hardworking and self giving. ***Four***, show them example of selflessness by our acts of love and care towards them and others. ***Five***, make it easy for them to share by giving them more than enough. ***Six***, enforce discipline. Have zero tolerance for selfishness; nurture and teach empathy for others. ***Seven***, reward acts of kindness and charity to encourage and reinforce selflessness in our children.
**It's not only children, every human needs selflessness**
The willingness to spend and be spent for the sake of others should characterize the life of every human. We have been called to live a life of sacrifice; a lifestyle that puts the interest, comfort and well-being of others before oneself. Thus we should be willing to help and assist those in need, no matter how little. It's not what you give that intimately matters, but the love you put into it. A self-centered person will not see the opportunity to help others.
The world we live in today is already quite challenging and people need help daily to be able to survive. Some have burdens too heavy to bear; some are discouraged and weary in heart, some others need encouraging, kind and loving words to ease their suffering. Look around you, find someone in need and Doo whatever good you can make life meaningful for those around you.
Money is not the only thing you can give. You can also be a blessing to others by being friendly, speaking encouraging words, doing kind deeds, praying for others and much more. Because that is the definition of a selfless life.
Let's train our children as well as ourselves to be sefless.
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Happy moment friends.
@Rancher
