There is no definite pattern to marriage.

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Today I will be discussing with you about marriage and the way people think and feel couples should live in their marriages to achieve happiness and peace amongst them.

In my own opinion after a careful observations and studies I made on different married couples around me, I want to inform you that there is no definite pattern of lifestyle couples in marriage should live their lives while living together in marriage. In otherwords, marriage does not have a definite style, handout, manual or a specific method of living couples in marriage should follow in order to follow, live and perform their marital duties and functions in our society today and the world at large in order to make their marriage a success. The way you live with your partner in marriage can never be the same way the next person sitting beside you should be expected to live and act with their partner in their own relationship as married couples.

You will agree with me that marriage is a vocation instituted by God on its own to mankind where two different persons with different mindsets, different personalities and individual understanding come together to live as one in marriage, to be each other's companion and to raise a family together. So it's imperative to note that the method of living and attitudinal behaviour of the parties involved in the marriage between Mr and Mrs A can not be as the same with Mr and Mrs B. The way you experience your marriage with your partner is determined by the way you two understand your love with each other, and the way you agree to share experience with each other and make your marriage work successfully.

In one of the marriage classes I have been attending, my teacher told us that in marriage you are to find what works for you and your partner and live in that path with your partner happily. To find what works for you and your partner in marriage, you have to study each other and know your likes and dislikes, knowing your partner's temperaments, emotions, feelings, strength and weakness so as to be able to live with your partner in that path that works for the both of you in your marriage relationships.

Remember that what you saw in your partner's life before going for him or her might be different from what the other person saw in his or her own partner's life before going for their love and also seeking for hand in marriage. So there can never be a definite method of living with your partner in marriage as same with the other partners in their marriages as well.

In my little experience I had with my fiancee during courtship, I had a knowledge of some weird characters that I have never seen before which were alittle difficult for me to live with in my first two months with her during courtship, but because I love her so much and I want to make the marriage relationship with her work successfully, I had to find a way around it to blend in that her lifestyle for us to live happily after, I got to understand that it was part of her and she can't change it even when she tried so hard to, so I understood her and adjusted myself to accept and live with her irrespective of her imperfections. Same way she found mine and learnt to adjust in other to live with me.

Now if I should read books online about marriages and try to follow exactly the same instructions out of the experience the writer had in his marriage before writing his books to live and practice with my partner who has a different attitude, psychological and emotional feelings and understanding, what would you think will happen in my marriage?. If marriage has a definite way of living and I found out that my partner has a character that does not fit into that pattern of marriage style the author explained in his books on marriage out of his or personal experience and thought, should I then leave my partner and end the relationship just because he or she could not fit into that process and style? The answer is No!

Why some marriages fail in their different homes in recent times is because they don't devise a means to create their own path to follow, live and have beautiful memories and experiences with their partner. You go online and read books and articles about successful marriages, mind you I am not saying that reading online books on marriages are bad, but what I am trying to say is that those articles and books you read on marriage were written out of experiences those authors had when they were married with their partners which worked for them, it may work out for them but may not be the same for you reading it, reason that your partner may not have the same behavioural characteristics or have the same temperaments and understanding just the same way the person the author had experience with in marriage before writing the book.

For any reason you want to read online books and articles on successful marriages and take a leaf from it, you also need to understand your partner's mental status, emotional and physical capacity and capabilities if at all you wish to apply the instructions in your own marriage relationship with your own partner.

Just find what works for you and your partner and build your marriage relationship on it and I assure you that you will live happily in marriage with your partner.

Learn and study each other and try to open your minds to accept criticism, corrections from each other when needed, and never allow your criticisms and corrections overshadow the love you both share with each other, correct each other with love.

Thanks for reading my article. Rafd9828...