keep quiet! You are still a child.

It all started as my father was sitting with my mother at the living room discussing about the high rate of young married couples getting divorced nowadays without looking back. When I overheard their discussion as I came to visit them during one of the weekends with my family, I quickly went to where they were and said to my father, Dad! You will not understand anything even if I start to explain to you right now, because during your own time as young couples back then, marriage was seen as one sided thing where it was all about the choice of the man, women never had strong voice to speak out and also, women's right and positions were to bear children and manage the kitchen in the past, but nowadays these new generation marriages of young couples does not tolerate or allow each other to trample on each other's right, privileges and positions in the marriage.

As I was still trying to give them more points to back up my claim, immediately my father shouted! Keep quiet! You are still a child. what do you know about marriage and the events that happened back then in our time he asked? I was shocked and overwhelmed by the way he shouted at me. Immediately I closed my mouth and stood still to really understand his reasons for sounding that way towards me.

He said, I must tell you the truth boy, no matter how you want to justify your claim you can't overwrite the fact that when I married your mother I was no body, I had no money, although I had a job that was paying me small amount of money but in all of these challenges, I still went ahead to marry your mother because I loved her and we gave birth to you and your siblings, managed the much we could to train you and your siblings up to the university level and still kept being together even during the time of our marriage challenges, likewise many other families that you grew up to meet as your father's friends, uncles, nephews and and well-wishers. None of these men even though they had their challenges in their various marriages left nor divorced their wives and husbands the way these new generations are behaving today.

My father continued to explain that most young couples that are marrying today never really understood what they really want, most of them never had a level of standard of type of man or woman they want to be with, some of them never had dreams and what they really want their marriages to look like and work towards that dream even when what they were looking for tends to take longer time before manifesting during their periods of living together as married couples. Most of them do not really have the mindset of trying to stick with their spouses to build together that dream both of them will be proud of. That's why you see many young men and women trying to connect with rich and well-to-do single ladies and men and when they have finally gotten that person they want and after a short period of time problems and divorce sets in.

My father asked me a question that baffled me, he said son, do you know why I don't joke and play with the love I have for your mother no matter the level of misunderstanding and quarrel we may have? I kept quiet and after a short brainstorming, I said dad it's because she is your wife. Immediately my father gave me a smile and said that it was not because your mother was my wife, No! It was because she saw my dreams, made herself part of it and worked in that direction living her own dreams to pursue mine, she helped me to build my own dreams, made my dreams as her priority and of course you saw my dreams before you when you were growing up as my child, my dream and that of hers were to make her happy, provide for her, take good care of her and my family and always love her. Everything we were doing in our marriage was for us all and the family, not pursuing our individual different goals and aspirations during our marriage years.

So you see my son, when you are always chasing your own personal dreams and not thinking about the other person in that relationship with you, this is what you will definitely get as consolation and that is heartbreak and divorce. If you reason and judge based on what your eyes feed you son, when it comes to life partner who you will spend the rest of your life as married couples, you will surely make mistake by making  the wrong choice which may lead to divorce in no distant time. Learn to make the right choices not from outer look of a person but inwardly which may  cover all the positive factors you may need to have for a long lasting relationship and marriage.

At this point I began to really understand that truly I am still a child when it comes to marriage issues and immediately I asked him to forgive me for my improper behaviour and character towards them in their discussion.

LESSON TO LEARN.

Most of the divorce cases that happen in this present days of our time happened because they never really had more knowledge what marriage was all about, some people marry because age was not on their side anymore, some marry because of material things, some marry because of looks, etc and because of that anything goes and when they finally settle down, problems and challenges sets in resulting to marriage divorce.

Whenever you want to marry, please it's advisable to always work in your standard of choice. Never allow yourself to be cajoled into accepting what you can't take on a normal circumstances. Marriage is a long term investment so choose wisely.

Do not always have this mentality of entitlement syndrome. It kills a relationship and marriage so fast than you may think of. Equal respect with utmost love should be the bedrock of your marriage by so doing divorce will be a thing of the past.

Always be the person that will propel the success and bring positive result and manifestation of your spouse's dream in your marriage. Don't pursue your personal dream when you know you are married to someone and have a family to build together. Build your dreams together.

In all you do as couples, please do you best to walk In-love in your marriages always.

Thank you so much for reading my article 🙏 Rafd9828