I need a divorce! he said to me.

"She told me that once I marry her that her brother who lives in the United States of America will arrange our  traveling documents for us to come to the states and live. I didn't know it was all a trick, false hope and promises, deceit and now we have married for 3yrs now with two kids and yet none of the promises have been fulfilled, now the worst of it all is that she lied to me from the beginning, she lied to me over her age, she is older than me with 7yrs of age difference". I need a divorce! he said to me.

Let me share this true life story to you of what happened to one of my colleagues who got married to a lady based on what she promised him or should I say based on his selfish desire. Maybe after narrating the story you will be able to give your own point of view to his actions, whether the decision he took was right or wrong .

Disclaimer: I will like to say that this article is solely to educate our minds and put us in the lane of what most people in the society are passing through all in a bit to achieve their desires. This is my personal opinions and observations.

The Story.

Before they got married, this was a young man who was a graduate from one of the Nigerian universities. Due to high rate of of unemployment in the country he decided to start up his fashion business, the business was not flourishing as expected, he had a girl friend who was an orphan and this young lady was so much in love with him, In fact they loved each other so much that you could see the love in their eyes whenever you happen to meet them together.

As they were pushing life together, all of a sudden this young man woke up one morning and broke-up with his girlfriend for no just course. The young girl cried so much for days and weeks because of the way she loved this young man, she asked the young man her offences and he couldn't give her any tangible reason. After so many efforts to get back to him by the girlfriend proved abortive, she moved on with her life.

One faithful Monday morning as I was heading to work, I never knew he has broke up with his girlfriend, I saw him with another lady holding hands and chatting so intimately, I called him and asked him what was going on, that I don't really understand what I was seeing at the moment, the young man replied and said; "meet my wife to be!" I was overwhelmed and confused because the response came as a shock to me. I asked him what really happened, he couldn't give me a straight answer so I left him. I didn't know he ditched his formal girlfriend just to be with this new woman I saw him with.

Within a short time he fixed his wedding and got married to the new girl I saw him with. They starting living as husband and wife and within the 3years of their marriage they had their first babies a set of twins, two lovely baby girl and we came and celebrated with their family for the gift of life in their marriage.

After the birth of their babies, the young started noticing some weird attitudes coming from the wife, he got worried and started asking the wife what was going on with the agreement and promises they had before getting married, that he has not heard her discuss the issue again since they got married and now they have started making babies yet no sign of any traveling document preparation from his  wife's brother living in the United States of America as promised made to him. Instead of the wife to respond to his question in a manner he would understand, she started insulting the husband and accuse him of being lazy and not trying his best to provide for the family and before you knew what was going on they started quarreling and the rest was history.

From this short true life story that I narrated here, It's very important to note that most people you see in this life, most marriages and relationships around the world have lived on this type of foundation which was built on false hope, pretence, lies, false promises and deceit. Because of what you will gain, selfish desires, or maybe because of what you hope to achieve at the end which maybe money, affluence, power, connection, etc you gullibly accept to be with him or her in a relationship, you mortgage yourself and tie your happiness and peace of mind to everlasting regret, you even go extra mile to lose those you suppose to bring close to your heart, those that mean well to you, those that loved you unconditionally like the formal girlfriend of my colleague who loved him with all her heart and him in return didn't reciprocate the love.

Now I tell you this, You don't need to fall in love with a person just because of what you hope to gain or achieve, when you allow your selfish desire to rule your conscience and sense or reasoning, this is what you will get in return.

Human beings and their characters are very complex to understand and it's very important that when you want to take a decision as such you really have to examine yourself, search your conscience very well to understand if it's really worth doing. Marriage is not all about boyfriend girlfriend stuff, it's more  deep and has a lot of responsibilities in it and that is why you really have to be ready for it both physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. You don't venture into marriage with a woman when you know you are not ready as a man.

in Africa when a woman crosses the  age of 30yrs, it is assumed that it will be a little difficult for her to find a man that will ask her hand in marriage, so most ladies who find themselves in that age range out of desperation can do anything to really make sure they settle down in marriage and if you are wise enough as a young man you will not accept such offer rather you will do your best to examine yourself and know if it's what you really want or not, also check whether if you can even in her age difference still marry her then you can go ahead with the marriage but if you can not, please don't try start up relationship with the person.

One mistake you should avoid when you are in a relationship with your spouse is the mistake of not being real and truthful to your partner. Most relationships have crashed even after marriage because of this factor, for instance, when you are unemployed as a young man instead of you to tell your partner that you are not doing anything at the moment so she will be aware of your job status, you rather prefer to cover up with lies about your job status when you too finally settles down in marriage everything will start to unfold.

I will conclude by saying that relationship success is based on openness of heart, ones ability to be truthful to his or her spouse, don't enter any relationship based on what you will gain nor receive, and always be with that person that loves you unconditionally.

Thanks for reading my article 🙏 Rafd9828