Beyond flaws and imperfections.
Holy Monday my dear friends in read cash.11th day of April my 7th Article for this month.I used to write articles this time of the night because my braincells seems to function well when I am at peace.My princesses are already asleep while my husband is still browsing on his phone.He used to watch some episodes of either One Piece or Detective Conan.While me,I am busy checking all my earning apps to see what I can do to earn more that can be added to my savings.As much as possible I don't want to spend part of my earnings.Saving them for unexpected expenses.
While thinking about what to publish I remember an article I've read written by @alicecalope entitled insecurities.So to make it little different I used the word flaws and imperfections.
During my younger years I have low self-esteem and self confidence.I have dark skin tone and as reached my adolescence I had pimple breakouts and upto this age pimple is one of the cause of insecurities.I feel less beautiful because of them,reason why I don't mingle a lot with my classmates before.Only few whom I know will not judge me and accept my "ugliness".
While studying I feel insecure because I am in a private school wherein most of my classmates are capable of buying all of their needs and want.They can have fun and jam together after school because they have extra money to spend.Unlike me who sometimes go to school pennyless,and there were days I go with an empty stomach.Such a pity situation I don't want my kids to ever experience.I guess it's more of envious feeling than being insecure.
I know to myself that I am flawed and have lots of imperfections.Good thing is my family is always there to uplift me.And what made me happy the most is when my ex-boyfriend showered me so much love making me feel that I am beautiful and beyond perfect in his eyes.Everytime we go out together as he holds my hands I feel so confident as if I am too beautiful to be cared for that much.When it comes to attitude there were time I have mood swings that I got angry and jealous for no reasons and I admire how he handles me,he patiently manage to adjust.Well everything is worth it Naman because he is now my husband for 5years and counting.
I had more insecurities after giving birth that I myself do body shaming to my own body.I loose confidence because I gained weight I almost reached 60Kg.Pimple breakouts,stretch marks on my tummy,my thighs,my arms even in my breast.I also had dark underarms (pati mga singit singit ko dai after manganak di na naglighten ulit).Now that my second born is 14months old I planned to do the "Balik-Alindog" (trying to regain my confidence).
I had my hair rebonded which I shared in my previous article.I am now using a rejuvenating product hoping I can get rid of my pimple marks and lessen the occurrence of those big pimples/acne.I also loose weight from 60Kg I am now weighing 51Kg.Somehow I can feel the improvement.
I am now gaining my confidence back and started to look on the positive side of my life, reminding myself how blessed I am.How my husband and my kids make me feel loved.May kilig factor pa nga kapag pinupuna ni mister yung changes sa appearance ko and how he compliments my looks.I can feel those butterflies everytime he teases me, he sometimes whisper in my ears some sweet word and naughty jokes(married couples can relate haha).At night,I sometimes wear a little seductive but not so revealing clothes to see how he would react and I find it cute when he doesn't know how to put the kids to sleep,how excited he was to do that thing "you know couples do".Those intimate moments boost my confidence more because I love how my husband make me feel that he truly loves me beyond my flaws and imperfections.
I had a great time writing this one and I hope you enjoyed reading as well.
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Lead image:Unsplash
Haysst gustuhin ko man bumili ulit ng mga skin care di pa talaga Kaya sa budget dahil need pa bumili ng milk ni bunso. Anyway you are beautiful sis.. Nice hair. Gusto ko din mgpa ayos ng buhok Para naman gumanda kahit kunti.