Close BUT Apart

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Avatar for QueenRay
3 years ago

Do you think long distance relationship make hearts grow fonder of someone else?

Sincerely, there are many challenges to having a long distance relationship.

I'm one living example of someone in a long distance relationship and I must say it's sometimes challenging.

In this article I'll give us tips that can help us grow and maintain a healthy relationship irrespective of the long distance or long period of time we've been separated for.

  1. Discuss how committed you want to be with each other and also to the relationship.

    -Have a long discussions about what you want from each other in this relationship while you are not together. Some partners have refused to discuss their differences.

    -Make no hasty assumptions. Talk about everything.

    -Will you be single even when apart as well as together or you'll have other relationships?

    -How will you deal with attractions towards others when it occurs?

    -How will you cope with loneliness?

  2. Avoid jealousness and allow trust. 

    It is very easy to let your thoughts run wild when you are not together. Do not let jealousy destroy your relationship. Find ways to divert your thoughts from things like how lonely you are. Discuss with each other about things that concerns you. Know that these kind of long distance relationships are difficult for most people.

  1. Call to Check and Catch up on things with each other every day. 

    Ensure you have time to catch up with each other daily whenever possible. You may specify a particular time, or any free time you're chanced. Set aside at least 30 minutes at the end of each day to catch up with what is happening in each other’s world. Build on your “love map” as you grow in your understanding of your partner and what he or she is experiencing each day.

  2. Be conversant with how to make use of technology. 

    Send messages to your partner on phones or through emails during the day just to let your partner know that you are thinking about him or her. Make video calls when you can so that you can see each other. Post pictures of the times you shared together whenever you meet on social medias so that you can think, enjoy and renew your commitment to others in your worlds.

  3. Have regular time together…in person.

    Inasmuch as its a distance relationship, you should note that it is as well important for connection and intimacy to be together as much as possible. Clearly, this may be impossible for some partners. Families of those that are in the Military get separated from them for long periods of time; however, whenever possible, find ways to make it a priority to be together, in person, as frequently as possible.

    Be sure to make that time as positive as possible. Do not dwell on how hard it is, rather, make memories for the future.

  4. Pursue the same goals.

    Even if you are not working together on those goals all of the time. Look for things that you can do and share it with each other whenever you come together and when you are interested in talking about your times apart.

  5. Plan for your future together.

    Plan to go on holidays together and spend the weekends together. Talk about this goals for yourselves and for when you are engaged or married, for your future as couples.(Singles should be very careful not to push anyone into a commitment or not to assume for others.) Plan for when you will be together in the future.

  6. Be open and honest about your struggles.

    Be open with each other while being apart and also respect the fact that you do not want your partner to feel guilty about the separation. Make sure that is only a very small part of your conversations with each other. And don't be too pushy about it.

    You should not be afraid to voice your concerns and struggles with being apart. Acknowledge what you think and feel. Unless something can be done to change it; however, do not make this the main part of any conversation with the person that you love.

  7. Give yourselves loving and positive feelings every day. 

    In an healthy relationships, there must be five(5) positives for every one(1) negative. Find ways to contribute to the positive side and not be a negative giver.

  8. Find ways to make yourself happy even when are not together. 

    Do not wait until you are together to enjoy your life.

    Relationships doesn't make people happy. People make themselves happy. Its an individual decision that you want to make yourself happy. People with happy spirit are more fun to be with. Find ways to make yourself happy and enjoy your life so that you have positive energy to contribute when you are together.

And for those in a close distance relationship, enjoy it please. And do not toy with the joy and euphoria you bask in. Value your spouse.

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3 years ago

Comments

Omo,long relationship is not for me oooo,but working with what you have said can help a lot,thanks

$ 0.02
3 years ago

No body chose to have it. It just happens and when it happens we have to endure

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Yes,so true

$ 0.00
3 years ago

these ideas are really good. But time and time again I am proven right...LDR ain't for me. It's not for the weary and fragile hearts. :D

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Lol. Weary and fragile hearts you say...

$ 0.00
3 years ago

No matter the distance commitment matters once you are committed to the relationship you will move on with the relationship. Thank God technology there are platform by you can reach out one to another without any obstruction. And like you have said trust is reach valuable both in close and distant relationship

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Oh yes. Trust is very essential.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Before I met my husband, we had a long-distance relationship for like 3 years. And now that we're married for almost 10 years, we have also been apart for 3 years (work issues). I would be lying if I say that it is a piece of cake because it's not. Distance matters a lot especially on days when you feel down. It's hard but it can really work out very nicely if you both really want to be together - close or distant.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Wow!!! So true... I need to come and learn from you then, since you're married already, because sometimes I get so tired of it, but love keeps me going.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

There was a question on my status sometimes ago and it ask "what's your preference between long and short distance relationship?"

I will say I love long distance relationship because it will make us value ourselves the more especially when we decided to create time to see each other and talk about those moments of our absence. It's also strengthens relationship too.

With all you have mentioned, I believe long distance relationship can work out smoothly as we want to have it. Thanks for sharing

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I'll check out the article too. But truly it has its ups and downs.

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3 years ago