Old Acquaintances

April 6th, 2022.

I happened to attend a friend's weddingg today and reconnected with an old acquaintance, catching up on what we've been up to these past couple of years. I've missed our one-on-one conversations and catching up was fun. We were secondary school mates but lost contact after I left the school for another school.

The conversation eventually shifted from catch-up to relationship problems. As she opened up about her complicated relationship with her mother, I found myself going from one end of the spectrum to the other.

I felt sad for her. I sympathize with the situation. But then I went to the other end of the spectrum wondering if I should say anything, tell her what I did or be honest about how I feel about it.

What do I do when I'm faced with situations that tests my moral compass?

Am I a bad person if I don't say anything?

What do you think?

Is there a right thing to do?

If you were in my position, what would you do?

You've probably had that thought before. You say something to someone and they assume you're trying to be hurtful or malicious, but it was just the opposite.

The thing is, people can take things in different ways, and you have to remember that. The other day, I got a message from an old friend I'd lost touch with. He's gone through a lot since we were last in touch and had found himself in a very tough spot.

I sent him my answer, followed by a follow up message of support, but I still felt bad and wanted to do more so I reached out to find out what he needed more of and how he'd like me to help.

What would you do if a friend sent you a message asking for help, in particular, a friend that you've lost contact with for long.?

Like, I haven't talked to this friend in almost a decade. We were good friends, I think. He messaged me out of the blue a few days ago asking for help. He was in a bad situation, and even though we weren't close anymore he said he needed help. I don't know him anymore though. He's probably changed a lot since we've lost contact.

I haven't talked to him in 10 years. He was one of my best friends, and I am wondering if I should reach out to him? What do you think?

Should I give him what he's asking for?

If I don't do what he asks for does it mean I'm a bad person for not contacting him after so long?

For the last 6 years, I have been saying stuff like "I'm going to reach out to all my secondary school friends this summer". But I've always been too busy.

The main question remains though: should I reach out to any one of them at all, because I'm sure everyone has one or two things they are going through?

And I wouldn't want a situation whereby I'll be faced with a problem or the other. I also have my challenges.

I think we all struggle with this question at some point. Making that first move after not hearing from someone can be very difficult. As much as we'd like to think that they are waiting to hear from us, most likely they have moved on with their life and have forgotten about us.

Maybe it makes us feel bad that we've not reached out before, but the reality is – people move on with their life. We deserve to do the same. It's okay to reach out, because we never know what will happen when we reach out.

Just follow your mind and do what you feel is really best for you.