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F.e.a.r

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Written by   27
4 months ago

I'm sorry, I have not been active here. I have been seriously ill for a weak. I have been on treatment for a week and there have been improvements. Let me not bore you all with my health. I'm here to tell you about my fears.

What is fear?

F- Fake

E-Elements

A-Appearing

R-Real

That is it. It's my mind telling me I can't do it. This fear has denied me of so many things while growing up. People had looked down on me because I was scared to express myself.

At times, before I would open my mouth to talk, I would have to paraphrase those words I'm about to blurt out in my head again because I was so scared of committing grammatical blunders.

When I was in my teens, I used to be in the church youth choir. Luckily for me I was in the same parish. So one day I was told to sing a song in one of our rehearsals, I stood up and you need to see the way I was shaking like a leaf everyone busted out laughing. Since I had been looked down on as one who can't sing.

I can still remember this when I was very much younger. I used to be an outspoken person but when it comes to doing a public thing, I will become numb. So on that very day, I was selected to make a speech. Guess what, I went on stage and began looking at the back. The photographer came up to caution me but in my mind, I said "this man does not know what is going on. Immediately, I made my incomplete speech and rushed back to my seat. Since then, no one deared giving me any speech.

Another time, it was during a drama rehearsal in school in my 100level days. I was given a role to act, I rehearsed my lines and I knew I was scared. I went on stage to act my part, come and see the rubbish I was saying. It was as if they came was away what I have rehearsed. Everyone began laughing again, I mustered courage and went back to my seat. After these incidents, I have vowed not to do anything public again.

But I don't know how the jinx got broken. In my final year, I took two lead roles to act in our church drama. I delivered my lines on the d-day, come and see the humor and how people laugh at my actions.

Or was it singing, I now sing with much confidence and pride. I sometimes take the lead songs.

How it all changed I can't tell, I just found confidence in christ. See eh, it was as bad as I know an answer to a question may be in a conference but I won't stand to talk, I was scared that people will laugh at me.

Well, let me tell you, I saw this as a burden because it won't help me. So I took it to the Lord in prayer and consciously begin to drop that fear and now I can face anyone and you would wonder who is giving me such guts.

Thanks for reading friends. Like, upvote and comment.

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Written by   27
4 months ago
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Comments

I fully understand what you felt at that time, since I was little I was very shy and it was very difficult for me to make friends or relate to other people but as I lived through bad times I learned the lesson, the fear was disappearing completely and today I feel free, without fear and I enjoy talking and sharing with people, unfortunately this world is not weak and we have to strengthen our minds.

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3 months ago

Yeah...we are our own strength!

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3 months ago

What I learnt here is to always talk to God whatever you are going through and He will give you the confidence to overcome them. I am always like this too and I still do not understand why it happens even though I still ended up saying what I needed to say. Whenever I want to talk in the crowd, I am always shaking till I finish my speech. All these are fear that should be overcome.

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4 months ago

Yes, always talking to God about everything is the goal. Thanks for your contribution...

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4 months ago

Fear is a spirit and until is being conquer that you will be set free

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4 months ago

Yes, an intimidating spirit for that. But it must be conquered

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4 months ago

Exactly similar experience I had when I was group up even until now...I still have those fears to express myself. Nice write up it felt like u read through me before you started this write up

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4 months ago

Thanks...

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4 months ago

So glad to know you have conquered your fear and are now confident in front of people. That's an amazing testimony :)

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4 months ago

Thank you...

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4 months ago