I'm sorry, I have not been active here. I have been seriously ill for a weak. I have been on treatment for a week and there have been improvements. Let me not bore you all with my health. I'm here to tell you about my fears.
What is fear?
That is it. It's my mind telling me I can't do it. This fear has denied me of so many things while growing up. People had looked down on me because I was scared to express myself.
At times, before I would open my mouth to talk, I would have to paraphrase those words I'm about to blurt out in my head again because I was so scared of committing grammatical blunders.
When I was in my teens, I used to be in the church youth choir. Luckily for me I was in the same parish. So one day I was told to sing a song in one of our rehearsals, I stood up and you need to see the way I was shaking like a leaf everyone busted out laughing. Since I had been looked down on as one who can't sing.
I can still remember this when I was very much younger. I used to be an outspoken person but when it comes to doing a public thing, I will become numb. So on that very day, I was selected to make a speech. Guess what, I went on stage and began looking at the back. The photographer came up to caution me but in my mind, I said "this man does not know what is going on. Immediately, I made my incomplete speech and rushed back to my seat. Since then, no one deared giving me any speech.
Another time, it was during a drama rehearsal in school in my 100level days. I was given a role to act, I rehearsed my lines and I knew I was scared. I went on stage to act my part, come and see the rubbish I was saying. It was as if they came was away what I have rehearsed. Everyone began laughing again, I mustered courage and went back to my seat. After these incidents, I have vowed not to do anything public again.
But I don't know how the jinx got broken. In my final year, I took two lead roles to act in our church drama. I delivered my lines on the d-day, come and see the humor and how people laugh at my actions.
Or was it singing, I now sing with much confidence and pride. I sometimes take the lead songs.
How it all changed I can't tell, I just found confidence in christ. See eh, it was as bad as I know an answer to a question may be in a conference but I won't stand to talk, I was scared that people will laugh at me.
Well, let me tell you, I saw this as a burden because it won't help me. So I took it to the Lord in prayer and consciously begin to drop that fear and now I can face anyone and you would wonder who is giving me such guts.
Thanks for reading friends. Like, upvote and comment.