My Exes: I have been a fool. Lead Image https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1510635874686-2761923552fe?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxzZWFyY2h8MTh8fHJlbGF0aW9uc2hpcHxlbnwwfHwwfHw%3D&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=700&q=60
I think I have seen some articles talking about their exes which I also confirmed that on @gwapojohn 's article yesterday. He categorized and talked about them. He made me remember my own experience with my exes too. I have been in different relationships in the past and I can say they all came for the same reason and I was a fool. Should I say love blinded me not to get out of them immediately? Well, it was Love's fault and not mineπ I will only categorized my relationships into just one type because they all are the same. I call it **"SELFISH EXES".** **MY FIRST LOVE EXPERIENCE** My first guy was called "Segun". We met when I just finished my Secondary School and we started our love life. Those days, love was the sweetest. So, I tried all my best to satisfy my boyfriend. How did I do that? I always send him money so he doesn't look elsewhere. I will steal my mom's money and recharge cards and give to him. I was doing this for four years and he never for once spend on me. Segun was a selfish guy that he thinks of himself alone and wouldn't even support or care for me. I was the one risking my life to make him stay. Whenever he comes visiting at my mom's shop, I will entertain him with everything in the shop and he would be happy to receive all. Segun never calls me on his own. He will always flash while I recharge to call him back. I was a fool not to understand that both partners should always support each other. This went on for two years until he gained admission. Even when he gained admission into the University and I was still at home, I would continue stealing from my mom to send to him. Whenever he needs anything, he will flash me and I will call him back, only for him to tell me he needs card or money. I still obey him to send to him until after two years in the University. By this time, I was also admitted into the College of Education. One day, I checked his Facebook account and I saw him with another girl, holding and embracing her tightly. I knew something was going on between them. I confronted him but he denied. It dawned on me that I have been a fool all these while and I left him. **MY SECOND LOVE EXPERIENCE** His name was Pelumi, a very handsome guy I met in Ibadan City. This guy came from an average family and I didn't know he was this womanizer. I was working as a teacher this time and part of my salary, I give to this guy so he doesn't look elsewhere. I loved him so much but I discovered he doesn't love me the way I do. Many times when he sleeps with a lady, he will chat me up and explain what happened. He knew I would accept his apology. It was always hurting me but because of the love I had for him, I still find myself around him. He will always come up with excuses that would end up giving him my money. When I visit him at home, and his friends are coming too, he would lock me up inside until the friends go. I was seeing all these but I really do love him. So, I succumb to all his commands and instructions. After some months, he stopped chatting or talking to me. He just came up with an excuse for me to leave him. After everything, I was a fool again. I cried for days and I moved on. I stopped giving any guy a chance since then and I determined never to give my money to any guy again. I was single for two years and didn't give room for any other guy for the fear that they are the same. I was still on this decision when I met Paul. Oh my God! I thought I have finally found love. By this time, I was already in 200 level in the University (2019). Paul wasn't like this guys I have dated. I came to realize that there are still good guys or men out there. Paul would send money to me, loved me and would even come visiting me in my school. He was a son of a Minister in the Redeemed Christian Church of God and so, he was so nice and caring. He understands me. He was a patient guy and I was so happy I have found love. Until one-day, he came up with an excuse too. "He called me and I wasn't picking his calls". Was that an excuse? I can still remember some part of his message to me then. He appreciated me, said beautiful words to me. He said he likes something about me which was that I was hardworking and even an independent lady. He said other things and as I was reading it, I cried especially when he said *"Goodbye, don't ever call me again".* That was how Paul left in April, 2019. I stopped being desperate in searching for love. I closed my heart because I was afraid I might be dumped again. But now, I feel I need to be loved and not me loving who doesn't love me. I can't remember where I saw a question in an article that "would we rather love or be loved?" Yes, even though I want to love, I still prefer someone to love me more. I don't want to be a fool anymore. Thanks for reading |August 13, 2021|
57 comments
What an experience! Regardless of how they made you feel, I want you to know that your man is out there and he will find you at the right time. We all have a story to tell but I am glad you are happy and you have the quality every man would seek in a woman.
Thank you, George. I believe he will come for me one day.
Hmm, such an experience. I am sorry you experienced hurt in your relationships, but trust me, you are love worthy . And you definitely do not need to rush it, don't let society influence you, love will find you, it always does.π
Thank you. I won't let anything influence me but rather, I will wait for it at the right time.
Let me make something clear to you and I am happy you must have learnt it already. Love is not selfish and it is not a talk and talk thing rather, it is a talk and do thing. Hope you understand... Never allow any man to make you feel less of yourself irrespective of how handsome or rich they may be. This is coming from a dear friend.
I understand you so well. Thank you very much for the advice.
Love as they say is reciprocal. We should love someone who loves us in return but not someone who pretended to love us. You can't keep your love by giving him or her money but can keep your love when you truly dedicate your heart towards that one you love.
You are right. A one sided love won't last at all.
Ohh my!π₯Ί Those guys we're such a.... Well, I've been there too my friend. Though I was hurt before, now I've found someone who eased those pains and make me happy so far. Hmm.. I hoped you can find someone who will love the way it should be my friend. β€οΈ
Yes, your MGD is a nice and caring man just as you have been talking about him. Many times when I read your article about him, I feel jealous and would pray to God for a better man just like him I hope my wishes are granted π
You already have a heart that loves to give and the tons of guys you meet seem to be taking it all for granted. How about you go into your next relationship selfishly? I mean try doing the opposite of what you did with Segun, Pelumi, and Paul, and see where it goes Not that you shouldn't care for the next one, no, but, be stingy with your care a bit. Don't give in every now and then, and see what happens The thing is you won't be able to mask your kind heart, but, you can try. Let the new person not find the gems first, let him stay long enough to find it It won't hurt to try.... Would it?
I think you really have a good point. Seeing your good side always might make one take you for granted. We need to pretend and fake who we are to see who really do love us. This make sense and I think going for this won't be something difficult for me. I will try Thanks so much for this idea.
Hello thank you for sharing your experience about your past relationships it has a big impact to us. Don't mind those people who intended to leave us God has plan to us . Just enjoy our Self and achieve goal in life.
Yes, God has bigger plans for us. Thank you so much
I feel sorry reading your story. As a man, I deeply apologized for what they have done on you. I know by sharing your experiences you're a fully grown and independent woman. You can't be break by a simple stone right now. Be happy and choose a life that gave leave in your heart. Your man will come infr5 of you and will love you the most.
I hope so too. And until then, I would keep waiting for him. Thank you so much
Well, it is what it is. There are indeed.manyngood guys out there. If you want to love a guy and be loved in return, you must find your place in his heart and be able to control somethings. Giving a guy money or other material things isn't enough to keep him. Sex is also sacred and must not be shared with every Tom, Dick and Harry. Maybe you should wait until you are ready for marriage before considering another guy in your life. But know it, all guys are not the same.
That is what I am doing. I don't want an unserious guy and I also need to be ready too. Yes, I understand all guys aren't the same. The bad ones just want us to see all men as the same.
Love will come at the right time... .but I suddenly remember my ex who borrowed money from me but he never paid it π€£π€£ i felt like I was scammed..good thing my heart wasn't.. As I did not invest love in him. Our relationship only lasted for a month. Haha
Jeez, you weren't scammed. If you didn't love him, would you have borrowed him then? ,π Thank God you both didn't continue. Perhaps he will continue to borrow π€£
>His name was Pelumi, a very handsome guy I met in Ibadan City Oww how sweet of you to call your Ex handsome haha, some girls I know they called their Ex ugly like they had never been loved before LOL
Hahahaha They are really handsome and cute and I can't dispute the fact. I can't tag them ugly because of the past though. Lol
I felt sad as I read your experiences with your exes. They're truly not worthy especially the guy who made you give him money π₯² I was thinking things between you and Paul were okay but then he's an as*hole too. It's just so nice to know that you no longer search for love. The right one will come just. βΊοΈ
Yes, I believe the right guy will come. I just don't know when it would be. I will just keep waiting. Thank you
Guard your heart, Princess and may God give you the wisdom in discerning which man is best for you. Until then, guard your heart.
Amen. Thank you so much for the advice.
I felt the pain while I'm reading your article about your exes. π Why did they do that to you? All your efforts and love is unmeasurable. God has a purpose princess because there's someone for you in the perfect time whose the right guy who will love you faithfully in your life. The one who deserving for your love. God bless you princess..π
I love the encouraging word. I believe God has kept that special guy for me, who will love me wholeheartedly. Thank you so much my friend.
Segun use you cash out gann o. Though it's nice to support your boyfriend or girlfriend with money sometimes but it shouldn't be the major thing. I feel bad for you reading this. You even stole from mum to please him. I can understand that type of love. You were young and wanted to be loved. As for Paul en , let me tell you the truth pastor son or not ,he was after what was in the skirt but when he realise he couldn't get it he decided to quit. I'm sure though they broke your heart, you learnt from the experience .
You have said it all especially that of Paul. I just discover every guy just want to lay with me and because I didn't allow, they find excuse and I was just too foolish to use my money to tie them down but what happened after? It's a lesson I have learned.
That was so sad. You reminded me of one of my best friends. When she is in love, she gives her all, she does all the efforts and everything just to keep his man. Then one day, she realizes her worth. She's not closing her heart but she is now focusing more on loving herself more than anyone else.
That is what I am doing now. I am only focusing on myself and wanting to love myself more than anything. When we do this, true love will find its way.
Omo,cash out geng but then that was bad. For me,I will just wait till I see someone tell me she love me cos I cannot be going after someone who doesn't care. You used them to gather experience ni jare. The right person will come.
Exactly. It was an experience for me and I have learnt my lesson. Thank you
You are welcome
Everyone hopes to be loved and I pray we all find that special one who's gonna love us dearly. However we shouldn't regret our show of love, its how we felt during the time, let's just live on and not be Afraid to love again.
Yes, I am hoping the moment will come again. I just need to be patient and forget about the past. Thank you
Enjoy moments of love and hurt alike! It is an indication that we are human. Now we learned our lesson. Take your time and trust in Him. True love will come... Thanks for sharing your story.
Yes, I learnt my lesson. Thank you. I will surely hold on to God and trust Him.
youchie.... he'll come Princess in time.. until then let your love tank be filled by God's love next thing you know you will be loving again..
Thank you for the advice.
Ah...You have suffered for love oπππ€£π€£π. At least, it's better that way because you wouldnt have to deal with them in marriage. They helped you by going on their own way as your values don't align. So sorry you had to go through all day.
They taught me lessons though and I am glad I met them. This was why I could talk about them today. Hoping for the best soon π
The best is coming very soon. You are an amazing soul.
Thank you for the hope π€
Thank you for the endorsement, Princess. π Seriously, I am a bit sad of your experiences from your ex. Glad that none of them is still with you today. They don't deserve you.
Yes, I knew then that they do not deserve me and I just let it slide. Hoping for the best. Thank you my friend
Hello my beautiful friend, how are you?? This is very sad, I'm so sorry you had to go through those depressing moments and that you met these empty guys, so dirty, so dogs, no one deserves to go through this stage of their life, although I'm glad it served as learning, so you don't repeat the same mistakes, so you don't get the same stone, although you know, it all starts with ourselves, if we don't love each other, no one else will love us, then before looking for that love outside, let's look for it in ourselves, when that happens, we will run into that person, with that being that will complement our happiness, in this life, you have to be very visual, very observant, it's not about looking at the physique, it's not about that, Unlike, it's about looking at feelings, in attitude, in the way of being, for a relationship to work, loving yourself will never be enough, greetings
This is so encouraging from you. This is more than an advice for me and I will hold on to these words. Thanks so much for your concern .
I don't think you have been foolish in love but that you have encountered bad people in your love life. I think it has happened to many of us. Sooner or later the lucky one will come along who will win your love because I know from the little I have been able to read in your posts that you have a good heart. The evil ones will always take advantage of that. God bless you.
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