Marriage

When we were much younger, my dad never wanted to hear us talk about marriage (myself and my siblings)😀. What did we know about it anyway... I was still in primary school and didn't know a thing but I knew I wanted to wear a Cinderella dress😂. There was a day I was talking about it with my mum. Can't remember exactly what I was talking about. It was either my wedding gown or the number of children I'll have (those were my favorite marriage topics)😁, I didn't know my dad was listening. You know how Nigerian fathers can be😂. Sharp sharp, he reminded me to face my books.

One of my mentors some time ago mentioned something about marriage that made a lot of sense.

I'll be very honest.

When I attend weddings, part of the focus on my mind is the attire of the couple and how radiant they look, food, pictures, constructive imaginations of how my wedding day would look like and how I would look the love of my life in the eyes and say I do. I never really pay attention to the vows.

My mentor on the other hand, can recite the vows word for word. When he attends a wedding ceremony, he pays attention to the vows and how deep it is. He said many people go into marriage without thinking of what they're committing themselves to. That's true.

Who doesn't love the paparazzi that comes with a wedding ceremony. The beautiful dress, the food, the pictures and the moments spent awwing and creating your own mental image of a happily ever after with the love of your life.

I used to hear my parents when they pray for us since we were little. They'd pray for God to give us good spouses. It's still part of their prayer points till date. God bless them ❤

I've been learning about marriage recently and I must say this. Truly, marriage is beautiful. God is so creative to have come up with the idea and it is his desire to give us men and women after his heart with whom we will raise wonderful, godly homes. I used to wonder why despite this desire of God for us, so many people still aren't fulfilled in their marriage, even after claiming to have been led by God. But I've understood that there are several reasons, part of which is going into marriage without a faulty understanding of what marriage entails.

Marriage is not all about wedding gown and a beautiful reception, or just getting a good spouse either. I've gathered from the sermons I've listened to, books I've read and people's experiences that there are certain things we need to unlearn and a whole lot to learn before going into marriage. You don't start acquiring these knowledge when you've found Mr Right, you start way beforehand. I'll share some things I've learnt with you, kindly share what you've learnt too😊

▪ When it comes to marriage, don't be carried away by what you see on the outside. People can package themselves really well when they need a partner (He prays alot, she dresses well, he's wealthy, she's hardworking, he's a pastor, she's a choirmistress etc.) Allow God lead you.

▪ Don't expect to start hearing God when you need a spouse if you haven't heard him for once in your life. Build a relationship with God way before you start thinking marriage.

▪ Your spouse can never take the place of God in your life.

▪ If you have a bad character, marriage is not a character changer that automatically transforms you to a saint.

▪ Marriage is not a solution to sexual immorality. Masturbation, fornication (adultery, in marriage), addiction to pornography, homosexuality etc., doesn't end automatically because you're married. Get your deliverance before marriage because it can be the end of your marriage.

▪ Marriage is not a confidence booster for low self esteem.

▪ Marriage is not the solution to all of life problems.

▪ Marriage doesn't grant you a ticket to heaven.

▪ Marrying in God's will is not a guarantee for a blissful home. If you're not willing to work together as a couple towards it, expect it to crash even though God led you.

▪ The fact that you're from thesame denomination is not a guarantee for your marriage to work. "I must marry from my denomination" is not scriptural, and God cannot be stereotyped. He can lead you to a saved heavenly minded Christian outside your denomination.

▪ Also, marriage is not for boys and girls. You have to be mature- physically, mentally, emotionally and be capable of sustaining an independent life. Maturity is not defined by age alone.

▪ Whatever baggage we carry about in our lives, need to be dealt with before marriage. Don't expect your spouse to do what only Jesus Christ and yourself can do for you. Marriage is not magic. With magic, you can wish away whatever you don't desire, but with marriage, you have to be intentional and committed.

The devil is more intentional about attacking Christian homes now that he knows the time is short. We can't afford to open the door wide to him. Start being intentional about your own home now.

Oya share your thoughts. What else should we take note of🙂

©OLUWABUKUNMI

Thanks for reading ❤️