The Forgiveness

There are people who leave us in anger, who leave us and may be resentful forever. Is this because of pride, is it a cultural thing or a human trait? What can we do about it?

These people must be in that certain biblical state outside of paradise. The unforgiveness and anger is living in them. Everyone wants to stand up for what is right and fight to get what is right. Anger is a kind of response reaction in human.

When somebody hurts me for some reason, I have a reflex that says: "Don't do that to me again. Stay away from me. Do not speak to me in that tone of voice, because you have no right to hurt me in any way." This is anger. Along with that, I seek my own justice and fight for it.

One might ask, has this always been the case throughout history, even going back centuries? I think the answer is yes. Anger, resentment and unforgiveness can develop not only between friends, between couples, at work or at home within the family, but also between nations, and can even lead to war, as has happened in history.

This is a major problem for humanity today. Jesus said that if you do not forgive, my Father will not forgive you. This is a very strong statement, that does not really fit into today's worldview. Let's face it, if this wasn't such a problem in humanity, he certainly wouldn't have said it.

Just because I forgive someone doesn't mean I forget what they did to me. That is not the case. I don't forget. That's a big misconception. The majority of people think that if they have forgiven me, then everything is fine and the whole thing is forgotten by the offended party. Far from it.

Nor should we forget who did what to me. Regardless of forgiving someone, I still need to remember what it was that hurt me and, more importantly, to be able to distinguish between human and human. If I forget everything, I wouldn't know who is safe, who is a good person and who is someone to be afraid of, someone to avoid in the future.

When I forgive someone, I don't say yes you are right and try to smooth things over. I don't look for explanations as to why I forgive. I do not forgive primarily to make the offending party feel good, but to take the burden, the resentment I feel towards the other person, off my own shoulders and stop living with that burden.

When a criminal is released from prison after serving their sentence, they will forgive themselves for all that they have done. If they did not, they would be free for the rest of their lives behind bars.

There are cases, where there is reconciliation alongside forgiveness, but forgiveness does not necessarily mean, that I am at peace with the person, who hurt me.

So what is forgiveness really?

When the wrongdoer has sinned against me by thought, word, deed or omission and the wrongdoer is forgiven, I give up the right of revenge, so I do not take revenge on the wrongdoer. If they have sinned by omission, I will cancel their debt.

Nor will I in future revile them, even if I really wanted to and felt in a moment, that I would so say to them now, but I don't, because I have forgiven them. I think it's very important to note here, that I have not forgotten, but I have forgiven and I will not give them back what they have done to me.

The other question is, by what right does one ask for someone's forgiveness?

You could say that I simply do not forgive you, because you have done something against me, that I can never forgive you for. We've heard that before, haven't we?

Christian people say that even serious offenders can be forgiven, but not by the offender, who is a Christian, but they say that Jesus Christ our Lord will forgive you and absolve you of your sins.

Anger arises in me, when I have been trampled over my right, which I will stand up and fight for. What I really desire is to create peace and love. I can have a truth of my own, but above that the real truth will be God's truth, which is peace and love.

Hurting each other breaks the peace and also breaks the love, from which comes anger and resentment. I heard a really interesting train of thought about what happens when one person yells in anger at another person and why they are really yelling.

It was thought-provoking and made sense to me. I would start with the whispering. When we snuggle up to the one we love and whisper something heartfelt in their ear, we don't even have to speak up loud. It is enough to whisper. Why? Because our souls are so close, that we can understand each other with quiet words.

When we shout, even though we are two meters away from each other, our souls are far away from each other's souls and that's why we shout at each other. What do you think about this? Makes you think, doesn't it?

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