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Don’t Judge People By Their Cover

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Avatar for Peter-Molnar
Written by   246
11 months ago
Topics: Blogging, Blog, Life, Love

I came across a super interesting true story about a homeless guy ( Vic Kocula) and an actress (Emmy Abrahamson) fell in love each other, then got married. The story follows: On a beautiful sunny day Emmy Abrahamson was sitting on a bench in a park, waiting for her friends, when suddenly Vic approached her and asked her about the time, which was a very strange thing to do, because there was a large clock in front of them on a building. Anyway Emmy answered to Vick's question and he did not waste his time, suddenly sat down next to Emmy.

They started to chat and despite the dirty and smelly homeless guy, Emmy loved his eyes. After ten minute chat Emmy's friends arrived so they had to say goodbye to each other. Vic said to Emmy "Saturday three O'clock the same bench", then he left. There was no contact shared between them and Emmy had five days to decide whether to go back or not. She could not get this guy out of her head so she decided to go back to that bench.

Image source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-5330933/Real-lives-fell-love-homeless-man.html

Vic was not there yet. He was about twenty minutes late, then he finally arrived. They felt so comfortable with each other and had a great time together. The only trouble was, that Emmy had to travel back home. Emmy gave him her phone number and at the end she had to leave. From that moment Emmy was not sure if she ever see Vic again.

On a very special day Emmy's birthday her phone rang. It was Vic and he told her, that "I am here now." So Vic got on a train and visited Emmy. That was a one way ticket. They stayed together, married, got children and Vick became more educated.

Inspired by this story, in this article I want to talk about, that never judge anyone by the look of them.

Introduction

A person’s appearance can be the first thing you notice about them. It might be the only thing you notice about them. We are a visual species and first impressions matter, but they shouldn't always matter. In fact, how someone looks should not even come into play, when analyzing their character or their personality. I’m sure we have all heard the saying "Don’t judge a book by its cover."

We all know not to judge a book by its cover, but when it comes to people, we can't help, but do the same thing. We often make assumptions about others based on their appearances and circumstances. When you first meet someone, do you immediately form an impression?

You may not realize it, but from the moment you meet someone, your brain begins to process information about that person and make a judgment. It’s helpful for survival, because it’s quicker than analyzing every detail of someone, who could be dangerous. We like to think that our assessments are always correct. But sometimes they’re not.

The Way You Look Does Not Define Your Character

Your appearance does matter, but not in the way that you might think. It is a reflection of who you are, but it is not who you are. Your appearance is a reflection of your own personal growth and maturity. For example, someone who is good-looking has likely been pampered and coddled all their life. They are not necessarily a good person. Someone who is un-attractive does not automatically indicate that they are bad.

A wise man once said, "You can't judge the wind by the speed of the feathers." In other words, you can't generalize about a person's virtue based on their outward behavior. You are the product of your own decisions and the environment, that you were in. You are not your appearance, nor are you the circumstances, that you were born into.

You may encounter people, who try to persuade you that your judgment of them is wrong and that you should give them the benefit of the doubt. That is a desirable quality in a person, but not a necessary one. It is a matter of personal choice. Being open-minded is a virtue, but blind-mindedness (assuming you can even be said to be "blind") is not. It is your choice how you will react to people. If you choose to be open-minded, then you should be open-minded, regardless of the consequences.

Be Open Minded

While it is true that appearances can be deceiving, it is also true that people are often able to deceive others in the same way that they are deceived. Therefore, it is important to be wary of appearances, but you also have a responsibility to yourself to not base your judgment on appearances alone. Never base your appraisal of another person solely on their looks. Never let yourself be blinded by appearances.

How someone appears does not necessarily tell you everything about them, just as a person's character is not always revealed by how they appear. Your own inner values and beliefs are what determine how you see others. If you hold certain values and beliefs, then you will likely project them onto others without even realizing it. The way someone appears to you can't influence this, because it is based on your own preconceptions.

It is only in the rare circumstances, that you would meet someone who is so radically different from your own values, that you would be able to spot them from a distance. That is not the common occurrence that it seems. Being open minded towards other people, not only being polite, but being genuinely curious about them, can only benefit you. If you are curious about someone, then you will have no preconceived notions to hold them back.

Change Your Mindset Towards Others

As you change your mindset towards being more open minded, you will begin to see others more clearly. When you look at people, you will not see only their physical traits, but also their personality. Your attention will be drawn to other things besides their physical appearance. You will be more able to spot important non-verbal cues. You will be more aware of what others are thinking. You will be able to read others better.

You will be able to analyze situations in which you find yourself and make better decisions. Basically, you will have a more "complete" understanding of everything around you and therefore, be less likely to make the kinds of mistakes that you may have made in the past. You will also become more agreeable, because holding an opposite point of view to someone else's will make you appear disagreeable by default.

The more you are around others, the more you will learn about them. You will become more well-rounded and less defined by any one characteristic. However, the more that you try to "open your mind" in this way, the more your mind will resist the change as it tries to keep you in your old ruts. This is not something that can be forced. You simply have to find the proper balance.

Thank you for reading.

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Written by   246
11 months ago
Topics: Blogging, Blog, Life, Love
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Comments

Emmy has a big heart, to think that she didn't avoided Vic because of his appearance. I love the story, it shows that no matter who you are someone is there to accept you. We shouldn't judge other person by their looks. As what they say looks can be deceiving.

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11 months ago

I love this story too and this is a perfect example to not judge anyone by appearance.

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11 months ago

What a story my friend :) Lesson learned for everyone

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11 months ago

Definitely! This story tells us about a lot of things.

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11 months ago

How strange that I have seen so much news and that I like to be aware of these things, and I had not heard or read this wonderful love story. It' s a very good story and very good reasoning that you give us here. It is a pleasure to start reading you, and I hope that my articles also pleases you, only one thing, that I write it in Spanish. Nice to meet you and congratulations for this beautiful article.

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11 months ago

Thank you. I guess I'll be ok with Spanish with a help of a translator. haha.

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11 months ago

Socializing others means knowing whom they really is. With that, we will be open minded and understand each situation

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11 months ago

Yes we cannot just stay in our own bubble and not being open to the world and other people. Life is so unpredictable and you never know where you will end up. I loved what both of them did in the story. Confidence and open mind are a must in any situation.

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11 months ago

This is certainly very interesting, and our actress certainly has a big heart, I have to say. I am very happy for both of them. Honestly, none of us knows for certain what tomorrow holds, and so, we do not know where we could end up. I had a teacher who taught us once to think kindly of persons in distress, and to bear in mind, "But for God's grace, go I." And so, I agree that being open minded is important and that conversely you need to be wary. For balance, I think you could follow a simple principle: receive others as you would like to be received.

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11 months ago

That is very true and that's how it works. How can you expect something from someone if you don't behave the way, that you would like other people to behave when they are with you.

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11 months ago

I actually love it. I watched the videos without skipping and their story is unbelievable. It's inspiring in a way of expressing yourself with confidence even if you're homeless. Kuddos to the woman.

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11 months ago

Yes Vic had a huge confidence in him, despite his circumstances. He had nothing to lose and actually he gained a lot, but the coin has two faces Emmy had to play a big part in this as well. She just could have easily sent him away.

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11 months ago

Good for her to notice the good things in them, being homeless doesn't mean they are dirty or unapproachable.. they are just going through very hard phase in their life and probably could turn around their lives if given a chance.. beautiful story and perfect example for V-day to tell.. Never judge is a line I live and swear by

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11 months ago

As you can see in this story as well Vic became homeless, because of running out of money. He is an intelligent man. It is just the bad luck and the fact, that he easily went down and slipped into the alcohol.

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11 months ago

Yes, I agree that at first, you will be impressed with the person's beauty physically but the moment you get to know them and you find something is off, that's how your attraction to them stops. It's the personality that makes you feel attracted and fell to a person no matter how he/she looks.

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11 months ago

Yes a person can be kind and warm hearted, even if your first impression is not that great about that person.

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11 months ago

As someone who likes bands and music groups, this also applies. Whenever I try to recommend someone a musician, etc. They give me their impressions of the artists immediately, based on how they look. I always emphasize to them that I look at these artists differently, because I got to know them more, and that they are more than how the naked eyes see them. The factors seen beyond visuals are what make me stay, and love them genuinely.

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11 months ago

Same happens to me. I sometimes don't even tell them, the name of the band, just say 80's music. If they really want to know I tell them.

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11 months ago

It's true we can't judge anyone by just looking at their outer appearance,until we would not see them by close. As Emmy was in love with Vic inspite of his outer appearance.

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11 months ago

We can have a really nice time with a person, who is not very attractive. Once we have a little chat we can see their personality.

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11 months ago

Did you watched the story from YOutube? I guess I had watched that video previous years.

Yes, you are right we should not judge the book by its cover just like how we give our opinion upon hearing a one sided story.

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11 months ago

First I came across with this story on a YouTube channel, that is about incredible stories, then I looked it up to see if it is actually true.

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11 months ago

That was a true story I, I had watched that before. It was a great love story

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11 months ago

It is lovely indeed.

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11 months ago