Don’t Judge People By Their Cover

I came across a super interesting true story about a homeless guy ( Vic Kocula) and an actress (Emmy Abrahamson) fell in love each other, then got married. The story follows: On a beautiful sunny day Emmy Abrahamson was sitting on a bench in a park, waiting for her friends, when suddenly Vic approached her and asked her about the time, which was a very strange thing to do, because there was a large clock in front of them on a building. Anyway Emmy answered to Vick's question and he did not waste his time, suddenly sat down next to Emmy.

They started to chat and despite the dirty and smelly homeless guy, Emmy loved his eyes. After ten minute chat Emmy's friends arrived so they had to say goodbye to each other. Vic said to Emmy "Saturday three O'clock the same bench", then he left. There was no contact shared between them and Emmy had five days to decide whether to go back or not. She could not get this guy out of her head so she decided to go back to that bench.

Vic was not there yet. He was about twenty minutes late, then he finally arrived. They felt so comfortable with each other and had a great time together. The only trouble was, that Emmy had to travel back home. Emmy gave him her phone number and at the end she had to leave. From that moment Emmy was not sure if she ever see Vic again.

On a very special day Emmy's birthday her phone rang. It was Vic and he told her, that "I am here now." So Vic got on a train and visited Emmy. That was a one way ticket. They stayed together, married, got children and Vick became more educated.

Inspired by this story, in this article I want to talk about, that never judge anyone by the look of them.

Introduction

A person’s appearance can be the first thing you notice about them. It might be the only thing you notice about them. We are a visual species and first impressions matter, but they shouldn't always matter. In fact, how someone looks should not even come into play, when analyzing their character or their personality. I’m sure we have all heard the saying "Don’t judge a book by its cover."

We all know not to judge a book by its cover, but when it comes to people, we can't help, but do the same thing. We often make assumptions about others based on their appearances and circumstances. When you first meet someone, do you immediately form an impression?

You may not realize it, but from the moment you meet someone, your brain begins to process information about that person and make a judgment. It’s helpful for survival, because it’s quicker than analyzing every detail of someone, who could be dangerous. We like to think that our assessments are always correct. But sometimes they’re not.

The Way You Look Does Not Define Your Character

Your appearance does matter, but not in the way that you might think. It is a reflection of who you are, but it is not who you are. Your appearance is a reflection of your own personal growth and maturity. For example, someone who is good-looking has likely been pampered and coddled all their life. They are not necessarily a good person. Someone who is un-attractive does not automatically indicate that they are bad.

A wise man once said, "You can't judge the wind by the speed of the feathers." In other words, you can't generalize about a person's virtue based on their outward behavior. You are the product of your own decisions and the environment, that you were in. You are not your appearance, nor are you the circumstances, that you were born into.

You may encounter people, who try to persuade you that your judgment of them is wrong and that you should give them the benefit of the doubt. That is a desirable quality in a person, but not a necessary one. It is a matter of personal choice. Being open-minded is a virtue, but blind-mindedness (assuming you can even be said to be "blind") is not. It is your choice how you will react to people. If you choose to be open-minded, then you should be open-minded, regardless of the consequences.

Be Open Minded

While it is true that appearances can be deceiving, it is also true that people are often able to deceive others in the same way that they are deceived. Therefore, it is important to be wary of appearances, but you also have a responsibility to yourself to not base your judgment on appearances alone. Never base your appraisal of another person solely on their looks. Never let yourself be blinded by appearances.

How someone appears does not necessarily tell you everything about them, just as a person's character is not always revealed by how they appear. Your own inner values and beliefs are what determine how you see others. If you hold certain values and beliefs, then you will likely project them onto others without even realizing it. The way someone appears to you can't influence this, because it is based on your own preconceptions.

It is only in the rare circumstances, that you would meet someone who is so radically different from your own values, that you would be able to spot them from a distance. That is not the common occurrence that it seems. Being open minded towards other people, not only being polite, but being genuinely curious about them, can only benefit you. If you are curious about someone, then you will have no preconceived notions to hold them back.

Change Your Mindset Towards Others

As you change your mindset towards being more open minded, you will begin to see others more clearly. When you look at people, you will not see only their physical traits, but also their personality. Your attention will be drawn to other things besides their physical appearance. You will be more able to spot important non-verbal cues. You will be more aware of what others are thinking. You will be able to read others better.

You will be able to analyze situations in which you find yourself and make better decisions. Basically, you will have a more "complete" understanding of everything around you and therefore, be less likely to make the kinds of mistakes that you may have made in the past. You will also become more agreeable, because holding an opposite point of view to someone else's will make you appear disagreeable by default.

The more you are around others, the more you will learn about them. You will become more well-rounded and less defined by any one characteristic. However, the more that you try to "open your mind" in this way, the more your mind will resist the change as it tries to keep you in your old ruts. This is not something that can be forced. You simply have to find the proper balance.

Thank you for reading.