I got married at 32, pregnant at 35, delivered my baby at 36 and at 37 being a mom without a doubt are the most special moments of my life however before such journey was the reality of being laughed at and told I was such an old fashion and my principle does not exist anymore. I didn't know there is an expiration date for it?
I have been reflecting on what to write, went back to my memory lane, still what persisted was the idea of 'having sex before marriage!" I have kept it for so long literally for 32 years because my principle would always be, "no baby outside matrimony" and that's when the problem started.
During my university, as we were in the last semester, among the class, I was one of those N.B.S.B (No Boyfriend Since Birth) because it was not my priority. All my university life was circulated with my part-time job and schoolwork so there's no such thing as nightlife nor dating for me.
My classmates would merely teased, I told them my priority was something else. One day, they even brought up an idea, that all Seniors won't pass the semester without a boyfriend as it was a prerequisite.
At the back of my mind, how come this issue of having a boyfriend is such a big deal?
Fast forward, I graduated without a boyfriend and decided to apply for a teaching job in a private institution in my country. I was accepted for the job and I started to go out with my colleagues for their karaoke session every Friday night or else they would say, I'm a killjoy!
True enough there was this guy with whom we had sort of mutual understanding, went out on multiple dates, camped out together but I ended it up momentarily because his silly statement was, "If I love him, I should give myself to him! (I was 23 and in my circle of friends, sex is part of the relationship but for me, it must be done within the context of marriage.
He didn't show up afterward. Ghost moment followed thereafter.
So I worked, went out on a friendly date until I turned 29 that my relatives, friends, and family told me I was almost on my last trip, no boyfriend, nothing at all and I will not bound for anything else as for them I have no destination in my life. Hmm, so how's that for a judgement?
Not until, I was hired for an overseas teaching job.
As I turned 32 and met my ex-boyfriend (now my husband) when we're both in the Middle East, at times we were tempted to do it and at my age "without experience" so they say, was a bit uncanny.
Mind you my friends were laughing at my old school idea! I was so driven with my principle to do it within matrimony firmly. Marriage first and then sex afterward because God has given this gift only for married couple.
Simple to say but hard to do as most people would say. I always had guys who would show up at the beginning and "ghosting" in the end because on what I believed on.
Yet no regrets, I'm glad I had waited for the right time.
Now with my current state, I can attest that if a man loves a woman, he must respect her idea of waiting for the right time. Sex alone will never be an expression of lasting relationship because at times we tend to equate lust for love therefore physical expression of love could be fully enjoyed when both partners are into a serious and committed relationship, let alone marriage.
I am at peace with this decision because refraining myself from any sexual activities outside matrimony gives me that firm conviction of "self-respect" as the bible says, "but if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion!" 1 Corinthians 7:9
Questions for your TIPS:
1. Which life's principle do you adhere up until today?
2. Was there a point wherein you feel like giving in?
3. What particular scenario and how did you deal with it?
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Image of four people at a campsite: Photo by Andrea Piacquadiao from Pexels
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Happy married life. Stay happy and lead a happy life.