Articles related to me, Series my life expressed in letters:
Series My Life Expressed In Letters: My Presentation On Read.Cash
Continuing with the theme of my story expressed in letters, in this article I want to share with you a part of my story quite sad, and that undoubtedly gave a twist to my life. My father died at the age of 32, on August 30, 1995, in a traffic accident (due to a drunk driver) leaving 5 orphaned children, my siblings were between the ages of 10, 6, 3, 2 and I was 4 years.
On September 1st was his wake and 21 days later I turned 5 years old, since then our life has not been easy, my father was the one who worked as a bus driver, we never lacked anything or food or comforts always strived to give us everything, because I do not remember having any need. When my father passed away, my maternal grandmother told my mother that we should move to her house, selling the house that my parents had bought for us; it was our home, my mother, feeling lonely and with 5 children, agreed to my maternal grandmother's proposal.
On the part of my father's family when he died, we died with him apparently, since they never took us into account again. When we moved in with my grandmother I think that's when our real lack of attention from my mother began, since my grandmother took care of us and my mother had to go out to work, something she had never done. Over time she found that she had fallen into a pit, which she thought was bottomless, she drowned in alcohol and cigarettes. Four years after the death of my father, my mother met a man and got pregnant with him, it was a boy who died hours after birth, since he was born with respiratory difficulties, it would be another loss for my mother, which ended up destabilizing her emotionally and more than that this man only wanted to mistreat us and in the end they ended up separating.
Soon after, my mother met another man again while she was studying at the university, studies that she never finished because she became pregnant again, and when this man found out that my mother was expecting a child, he abandoned her and did not take care of what is now my younger sister, leaving my mother again in an unstable emotional state. Throughout my childhood, from the age of 4 until I was 11 years old, I did not have that father figure (according to pediatrics, 11 is the stage where childhood ends, where the child is mentally capable of recognizing a father or mother figure).
Undoubtedly growing up without a father significantly marked my personality, and now that I am a health professional, I recognize that this circumstance in my life gave rise to many behavioral disorders in me; to hide those feelings of unhappiness, anger, abandonment and fear that overwhelmed me. Growing up without a father can present many problems.
Some of them can be:
- Difficulty relating to other children.
- Attention deficit.
- Poor school performance.
- Resentments with their mother.
- Emotional emptiness
- Low self-esteem.
- Emotional problems such as aggressiveness, anxiety and depression.
- Fear of abandonment.
- Social isolation.
To conclude with this article (I confess it was not easy for me to relive that stage of my life), as I was a girl who grew up without her father, and with a mother who did not know how to handle this situation well, and with the knowledge I have now and personal experience as a mother, with the luck of having a partner who is a good father; I want to express my humble recommendation, in the complex process of having to raise your children alone:
- When a woman is left alone in raising her children, she tends to be either too strict or too permissive with the rules. Neither is appropriate for children growing up without a father figure. There must be clear, but at the same time flexible rules that can be adjusted to situations and that guarantee the well-being of your children and yourself.
- When there is no one to share responsibilities with, it is common to have an excess of activities to do. In the same way, you have to reserve some time (no matter if it is short) to share and enjoy with your children: it can be reading them a bedtime story, taking a walk with them to the park, asking them how they did at school and studying with them, I assure you that putting this into practice will make a difference.
- Don't be afraid to seek psychological help from a professional. He or she can advise you and help you deal with the consequences of the father's absence, as well as with the problems that will surely arise in your relationship with your child.
- You have to learn to be patient and tolerant, not only with your children, but also with yourself. Avoid wanting to occupy both roles, that is impossible. You will undoubtedly have very difficult moments, just accept them. From then on, you will have to give your best for your child. What doesn't work out today can be solved later.
Your opinions are very valuable to me, I will be very attentive to your comments. Thank you for investing your valuable time reading my publication; best regards.
P.S: I want to let you know that English is not my native language, for that reason it is very likely that I may make some mistakes in the elaboration of this article. If this should happen, please feel free to correct me properly. It will help me in my learning process.
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I am saddened by your story. I know how difficult it is to live without a father. I hope your mom finds a good partner. I wonder how innocent you are! In my opinion you are a good writer.