Infatuation versus love- 10 differences!
1st of March 2022
1. Neurotransmitters
Infatuation is dopamine and testosterone filled. Love is oxytocin and vasopressin filled. You're not going to know which neurotransmitters are causing your feelings, but you can know what the symptoms of each are.
Vasopressin and oxytocin as it relates to love give you that warm connected glowing kind of love, they make you feel close to that person and feel safe and connected to them.
Dopamine is more likely to give you that fix. It's more likely to make you want to jump them instantly, make you feel high every time you're around them. It makes you poised towards wanting them and wanting to spend more time with them, and it makes them feel very addictive.
You can have both operating at the same time but the more you're operating under the influences of oxytocin and vasopressin, the more likely you're on the love spectrum rather than the infatuation spectrum.
2. Time
The reality is love takes a lot more time. If it's only been two dates and you can't stop thinking about him again that's likely to be the dopamine fix of infatuation telling you to think and think about him or her every waking moment.
Love takes longer to develop and means you're not going to have this same obsessive thought patterns that you will with infatuation.
3. Physical infatuation is very physical
By physical I don't necessarily mean that you're obsessed with how they look and what their physical appearances is. Though that may be the case, infatuation can often come from what they can do to your physical body, the way they look at you, the way they smile at you, what it does to your body. Infatuation is very physical whereas love is deeper and more emotional.
4. Depth of qualities
This is a big one that I talk to friends about when I suspect they might be driven by infatuation rather than love. I say what do you like about him and what do you not like about him? What's not so good? And the like list tends to be infatuation-based traits. It's the way he looks at me, it's his smile, it's how funny he is, it's how genuine he seems. It's how cool he is and all.
This is over just a short period of time. Whereas when they say these are the things that I don't like, about him he's a poor communicator. he's dishonest, he doesn't put in a lot of effort, it's the real important traits that you would not fall in love with.
Infatuation is about much more than superficial things and again what these things do to you. Whereas love is about much deeper traits that take time to come out.
5. Negative traits
Infatuation doesn't see any negative traits everything is good. “oh he's messy but it's okay I'm super clean so we balance each other out nicely”. Infatuation cannot see any negatives or if it does, it manages to turn them all into positives. Love on the other hand sees the negatives, but loves despite it.
6. Feelings of unity
This is one that I can personally vouch for. When you're infatuated, it still feels like you and him. When it's love there's a sense of unity. When you think about that person it's “we” not “me and him”.
7. Unpredictability
Infatuation is unpredictable, you never know whether you're gonna get ghosted. What's gonna happen next, where is this going? Love is more predictable. Infatuation can disappear on a whim.
8. How are you acting?
One of the tell-tale signs of infatuation is that you start doing a whole bunch of different things that you would never usually do to appease or please your partner. In Infatuation, you find yourself doing things, hanging out with people, taking up things that you never would have done before.
Now it's not to say that you shouldn't be open minded. In fact, love can be open mind and love can certainly explore new areas to grow as an individual by opening it up, opening yourself up to your partner's interests. But love will do it because it wants to.
Love will do it because it genuinely wants to grow an experience in that area, and love will have no problem saying, “no I try to I don't really like it back to what I do”. Infatuation on the other hand will be obsessed and will tolerate doing things and saying things and being a person that you wouldn't usually be.
9. Subsequent emotions
Infatuation leads to subsequent negative emotions whereas love leaves two subsequent positive emotions. Infatuation is such a high that it becomes totally unsustainable. Inevitably, that high has to come down to a point and you start comparing the point where you are to the point where you were and feeling negative about it.
It raises those expectations so high that you can't possibly feel good in comparison. Love on the other hand pushes you to source your positive emotions from yourself. It pushes you to grow and it pushes you to change and expand yourself as a person. So, when you're in love you start feeling better and better as a result. Infatuation leads to a crash whereas love pushes you up in the air.
10. Tough conversations
Infatuation can't have tough conversations. Love deals with them and gets through the problem. Infatuation is perfect right, it feels perfect. It feels great so the last thing you want to do is ruin that dynamic by having a difficult conversation or blowing the fantasy.
It's very hard to have difficult conversations with someone you're infatuate with and get through them, you just don't want to ruin that perfect dynamic. Love can have those conversations and love knows that it will survive those conversations.
There are many more differences between infatuation versus love. I decided to limit this article to ten differences only in a bid to not bore my readers!
Tell your thoughts in infatuation and love in the comments!
Many people does not know the differences between infatuation and love. They count both as love. Infatuation isn't real , and can't last.