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No Breathing Space Attitude
Even the most fun loving people, need alone time sometimes,maybe not as frequently as quiet people but they do crave silence and "me time" sometimes. Everyone needs some alone time,no matter how long you have been together. Just give your partner some space to breathe. Feeling choked in a relationship can harm the relationship. Try not to become a "handbag" all the time.
We all need to take a minute to ourselves now and then. By having breathing space away from your partner you are able to focus on your own needs and give yourself that much needed time to accomplish whatever you need,no interruptions! Giving each other this alone time allows you to spend the day however you choose, from a day at the spa or a relaxing walk on the beach, put your need first.
A relationship shouldn't consume me nor should I be so needy as to want all of my partner's time. There's life outside of every relationship and it ought to be lived and enjoyed. Yes, room to breathe,space and alone time are necessary. I don't know what I would do or how I would show up in my marriage if there wasn't time just for me. In my opinion,smothering ,questioning our spouse's and every move and not allowing him/her to go anywhere without us, just isn't healthy. It's stressful to both partner's and display a level of distrust. In the long run,it causes regrets and resentment,which both lead to more serious relationship issues.
The Drama King Or Queen Attitude
Some couple exist only for drama, they create drama everywhere they go. When a partner whom you may have corrected in the past to always drop dirty clothes in the laundry basket, and for some reason they forget to do so continuously,don't cause a scene or count how many times in one week they keep repeating this habit. Couples rarely have the say character, while one person is calm, the other may be hot in character.
We talk a lot about "drama" when it comes to relationships and how to avoid it. Drama in this case, unnecessary or manufactured conflict. We all realize how much drama can sabotage an otherwise healthy relationship and why it's so important to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in order to drama-proof our lives. But we rarely ever stop to think we might be the ones causing drama.
It's an easy thing to overlook. We tend to see drama as being something other people do. Men especially tend to see themselves as drama-free zones; even among otherwise egalitarian and feminist men, there's a tendency to equate "drama" with women. But drama is gender agnostic;men are just as prone to creating unnecessary conflict as women.
Let's Sweep It Under The Rug Attitude
Many people have things that they may not be able to tolerate or find irritating, this majorly deals with partner's habit that you do not like, so instead of sweeping it under the rug, bring it up and iron it out. If not attended to, it will build up gradually into a big issue. Small things matter. There are countless reasons why couple can have conflicts throughout their marriage. Interestingly, most of these don't really start as big or serious. Small issues "swept under the rug" can mount and grate on your nerves until your both ready to explode.
Avoiding your marital problems can only be a temporary strategy. Sooner or later, these issues need to be resolved, if a meaningful peace is hoped for. If you can't seem to resolve them with stirring deep-seated negative emotions, don't force it. Seek a sensible solution with the help of a professional counselor.
Some couple believe that "why should I risk starting an argument when things aren't too bad?". In fact, this does make a lot of sense. Even if things aren't great it's true that they could be made worse. So, without the communication skills to address issues effectively . It is understandable why so many people resort to sweeping things under the rug. The problem with this strategy is that the short term gains are outweighed by the long term damage to the relationship. When relationship issues aren't addressed they don't usually go away or get better on their own.
Instead you are left with a feeling of discontent that is often felt (but rarely understood) by other person. The effect over time is a feeling of distance that grows between you and the other person. Over many years as multiple issues compound the distance can cripple and eventually destroy the shared bond you used to enjoy.
The End
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