- That's how life goes. This kid cheated on me too, I don't think they like my lap. No one wants to call me mother. So no one comes to me. And no one will ever come. He started laughing. What will happen to me now? I don't want to be called a mother, that's not a problem, but I needed to call my husband a father. Didn't you say? The kids don't like me so they say they can punish her father? My mother-in-law can't hear the call for me. Tell me what a horrible incident. He started laughing again. I think I turned to ice. I could not move a little. I just moved my lips
- What are you saying? Why don't the kids like you? Surely there is a problem somewhere, show a little doctor. Surely there is no better treatment for this.
- Treatment? Seto has been going on for so many years. I tried a lot but to no avail. There will be no profit. This time all hope is over. The uterus has to be discarded. I am finished, completely finished. Understand, there is no hope. One for me my husband sat on the roof laughing out loud because my mother-in-law had ruined everyone’s dreams. Just then my mother-in-law saw me late and came up to the roof looking for me. Seeing me talking to Bhabhi, he got a little angry and said
- Jasmine, don't you have to put food on the table? Standing here and talking? You go downstairs. I'm shaking my clothes. He didn't let me stand. He hurried down from the roof. I just couldn't say goodbye to Bhabi. I couldn't come down and fix my mind in any way. I know why my eyes began to water with tears. I could not tell Bhabhi's words to anyone else. My mother-in-law went downstairs and told me clearly that I should never talk to Sima Bhabhi again. But why not say that. I asked my mother-in-law why not ask? But the nature of his order is such that my face is locked. I started to get very upset inside with Bhabhi. The mind was too anxious to talk to him. But thinking about the peace of his own house, he could not speak anymore.
Two days later it was too late to come to my husband's house at night. My mother-in-law and I are sitting for her. When he returned home, I saw his mood and realized that something had happened, but I did not ask myself. In this world of a few months, I understand that he tells me the essence of what happens all day while lying in bed before I go to sleep. But my mother-in-law asked a question
- What happened, Dad? Why are you so upset? And why was it so late to return home?
- And don't tell me mom, I'm coming just in time. But I couldn't come to the gate of the house. The people below were brave, and with it the police closed the gate on the pretext of controlling.
- You mean, like, cops? What happened?
- Putting the body down there, a woman on the second floor of the house next door committed suicide by taking sleeping pills. The police will also come in these cases. The woman's husband is being questioned now. There is a big problem. As soon as the words reached my ears, I knew why I could not bear it anymore. My head turned and my eyes suddenly blurred. I fell to the floor and couldn't say anything.
When I regained consciousness, I saw my husband sitting near my head. And my mother-in-law is blowing air in her face even though a ceiling fan was spinning above her head. Both of them asked together-
- What happened to you? Does the body feel bad? My mother-in-law said to her son again,
- Come and see a gynecologist tomorrow. I think there is good news. Let's just say that Antar was going to Nana's house with his mother. He got up and left, saying that he would get peace of mind again with some good news. My husband did not say anything loud. He began to say
- What's up, Jasmine? You must have fainted when you heard about that woman's suicide? Why take all things into your mind? Accidents like this happen all around us all the time, in the meantime we have to survive. Strengthen your mind a little. Don't wear them.
- Is it really suicide or a form of murder?
- Shut up, shut up! I don't want to hear any reversals. Whatever it is, the police will see. You don't talk about these at all. I really couldn't say anything more. I became silent only then, not for anyone but forever.
Then several more months passed in this way. My Ja treats me like a pretty good friend. The mother-in-law had stopped waiting for the first day or two as she had broken her expectations in that incident and then started behaving as before. Sometimes when I go to the roof, I remember Sima Bhabhi very much. At one point the recollection began to wane. Suddenly one day I saw a new person sitting on the roof and later I heard from my mother-in-law that a new person has come in place of Sima Bhabhi. Doubt whether a man can change his clothes as fast as he can change his life partner? I know why my own man began to have a little doubt. Will this man be able to bring someone else in his place so quickly? Just when I was busy thinking about all this, my mother-in-law called me mother
- Jasmine, it's been two years since your marriage, now show me the face of a granddaughter. You need a playmate at heart. Suddenly my insides trembled a little. I did not answer him then. I just bowed my head and went to my room. When my husband came home at night, my mother-in-law spoke before I could say anything.
- Dad, I have been waiting for a long time. This time I want to see the face of a granddaughter. What do you say
- What do I say? Tell Allah that He is the Owner of children. He will get it if he wants. He finished his meal and went to his room. I left the table and went to my room. I came to the room and got scared when I saw my husband. He is sitting still. I approached and sat down beside him and gave him a push and said,
- What happened to you? Why are you sitting on such a pillar?
- Jasmine, I haven't told you for so long. I think we need to go to the doctor. For the last one year we have been trying for a baby but to no avail. Today my mother said in such a way that I could not answer. After hearing that, my whole world seemed to shake with a loud jolt. My fear trembled inside an unknown fear. What do these say? Trying for the baby for the last one year but I can't conceive the baby. But why? What is the problem? I immediately said,
- Why didn't you tell me anything? Let's go to the doctor tomorrow. How do I know I'm scared, my hands and feet are getting cold.
- Don't be so scared before. First go to the doctor, then you will know what the problem is? Sleep now and no one at home needs to say anything now. I will say whatever you want to say. You will not say anything.
I fell silent, just telling God, just asking him for a baby.
Then my husband and I started fighting. Today this doctor, then tomorrow that doctor. Today this test, tomorrow this test. I got absolutely tired of running. Although he was able to hold it at first, later everyone in the house came to know about the incident. My mother-in-law's cries made the sky heavy. Relatives came and started asking various questions. Who is the problem? Who is the problem? My husband became very depressed and said that the problem was his. In an instant, everyone's throat went down. Pinpatan silence filled the house. My mother-in-law was listening to me again and again because she could not be a grandmother for a few days. She seems to have calmed down more. From then on, it was my turn to comfort each other. The new harassment started for us from our home. Mother and brother-in-law came and started begging me to take them. I heard that my younger uncle had also prepared the pot for me to get married. My husband just said, whatever else you do. Don't marry again. If you want to stay with me, if you don't want to stay, leave. But don't give my place to anyone. I know how to go through a dilemma. I tried to understand the whole incident by combining several events. But I did not understand anything. I returned my mother and brothers. I stayed here. My mother-in-law was very happy about that. He treats me very well, I have no problem staying here
A few days later I went to the roof and saw Sima Bhabhi's replacement sitting with a small child on her lap. And the baby's father is sitting next to him. I feel a little embarrassed to see me. I didn't stand on the roof anymore and immediately came down. Sitting on the stairs, I thought that Sima Bhabhi hurried away for fear of seeing this scene. Unbeknownst to me, my mind was filled with trouble for my husband. I don't know if that man is holding my chest tight, I cried a lot thinking about it.
A few days later I went to a hospital again to have my baby Jay. I think we are in the labor room and we are sitting outside. At that time a nurse came forward and saw me and smiled and said,
- How are you, sister?
- Good. I wanted to remember exactly where I saw him. Then the nurse took my hand and said again-
- Why here?
- Yes, I will have a baby, you are in the labor room.
- He's very good, very good. I thought something else.
- No, brother, nothing else. I will never have a child again. I recognized the nurse and said the words. He then came a little closer and brought his face to my ears and said.
- Husband still doesn't want a new marriage? Want a baby, don't want a baby? I was a little surprised and said-
- You mean?
- We are talking about the day the reports were taken away and a few days later another will get married on the pretext of having a child. That's how it is. Have you been watching for so many years? The next step is to memorize. Be careful, Thaiken Apa. The nurse went to the labor room to say the word.
Onito left and took my knowledge with me. I tried to understand what he said. Where can I find an exact address? What to think? If the problem is hers then why can she go crazy with baby again? Was there a report that they had just decided that my husband would remarry? I couldn't think of anything else. Who is my mother-in-law? I came home. My head is just spinning. When I came home, I lay down for a while and started thinking coldly about what was happening. I couldn't really think of anything like that. I got up, opened the cupboard, took out the reports and started checking them one by one. Where is it?
My husband returned home at midnight. When he entered the room, he saw that the lights were off. He turned on the light and ran to me.
- Did you do that? Jasmine, why did you drop these papers?
- Why did you tell such a big lie? Are you kidding me?
- What are you talking about, Jasmine? When you blamed me, did you not go and have mercy on me?
- Why did you lie?
- Fear of losing you? Our society cannot digest the guilt of a girl as easily as it can digest the guilt of a boy. They blame girls and create an environment where there can be no happiness. I want happiness, I want you. Don't talk about this anymore. Forget all this for life. And one day we will not talk about all this. He pulled me and pressed me to his chest. But I know why I could not match any rhythm, rhythm, melody.
Two days later, everyone returned home with a new baby. My husband was playing alone with his new baby on his lap. As soon as I saw this scene, it seemed that I was cheating on him in one way or another. He has the right to be the father of a child but I am depriving him of that happiness. I started to break down inside myself. A fear gripped me and how long will he be able to hold this truth? What will happen when everyone knows the real thing? If everyone forced her to get married, would I have to watch the scene on the roof again? Can I bear it then? My day became unbearable with all such thoughts. I can't sleep. As soon as I close my eyes, I see that the truth has been revealed to everyone. Everyone is scolding me. I am silent for my own interest even though I know the truth. Everyone is pressuring my husband for marriage. My husband is going to commit suicide because he can't stand all these pressures, and then he gets up and sits on the bed. I can't sleep anymore. I don't know how I got sick while walking like this. What should I do? So I started thinking. One day I hurriedly thought that if I survived, my husband would not be able to move forward anew. Will not remarry. What will I do but I will commit suicide like Sima Bhabhi? Will I let him go? After a while, I became very fond of my own life. Why do I have to commit suicide to free my husband. There must be another way. I started thinking what to do? When I go back to my father's house, I will see my husband's new family again. It is never possible for me to endure. And when I go back to my father's house with my guilt, their attitude towards me will change radically. Then my mother's pain will increase with me. So I decided that whatever I do, I will not go back there. I decided to solve this problem not by ending my life but by enjoying my own life. For some time I quietly began to make my own arrangements. For this I used all my jewelery and also had to give my husband and some money. About two months passed while processing. I was successful till the end.
Hmmm, today I flew Bangladesh to my new address. After knowing this news, many will say that I must have run away with someone new. Some days some blinds will be punched, let's go. Yet my life survived! I will live, I will not have some disability. Even then I will live. I will redefine my life. Why should I end my life to cover my disability? So I ran away with my life to an address where no one would recognize me. I do not know anyone. I can breathe in peace without any hesitation! At first my mother will have to endure a lot of hardships, then she will endure. Better a poor horse than no horse at all. I will start my life anew from where Sima Bhabi has finished or not. I just left a note for the best man in the world
"If you're really in love, don't look for a day. You're free. Get married again. It's your right to be a child. I couldn't breathe a sigh of relief. I'm not really worthy of you, I don't have the morale like you. Forgive me. "Jasmine.
Thanks for your patience