Would you dare to be the other one?

Study the risks before falling into a trap.

The classic triangle, the other is the one that always has the worst part; neither security for the future nor company, just wait.

If you are already the other woman, there is nothing new about what we are going to say next. You know that, far from being a voluptuous and sophisticated toy, full of privileges and underwear of the purest silk chiffon, it is likely that you are just a woman in love, who watches life go by from a trap into which she almost fell without realizing it, a woman who spends a large part of her life waiting.

The "other" lives waiting for Monday to arrive, because weekends are taboo, waiting for the legitimate woman to visit her mother so she can enjoy her love full time,waiting for the last ( and suspecting that he hopes in vain) that he asks for the divorce that a year ago he promised to request from his wife.

Another thing that she also suspects: in that classic threesome, it is she who has the worst part. He is enjoying the challenge of having two women, thereby trengthening his formidable male ego. The wife lives quietly in the safety of her legally established home, surrounded by affection (they are never more affectionate than when they are unfaithful) and totally ignorant of what is happening. The only one who is aware of the anomaly in her life is her, the other woman, the one who is supposed to be evil, the man eater, the vampire who destroys homes and alienates the man from his wife and children.

Unfortunately, this is also a myth. What began with the lure of the underground, the charm of the illicit and, hah, those brief and romantic encounters in which he calls her his Lara, comparing her to the doctor's lover, can end in a rosary of lonely days and nights .

As human beings have the instinct of survival, of conservation, when she finds out for the first time that her prince charming has a wife and children, her reaction is often defiant: "So what? That is precisely what I need ( I, the liberated woman of today). A man without the right to impose himself on me ... who does not pretend to be aware of all my steps, who respects my independence. "

Furthermore, she finds this man more charming, more worldly, and far more understanding than anyone she has ever met before. And possibly it is. As the weight of his guilt is such that he tries to alleviate it with an attitude that can sometimes even be paternal. And her? Sooner or later, and despite his liberation, jealousy will knock on the doors of his heart and, then, he will suffer as he never thought he could suffer.

Perhaps you are one of those who believe that your intelligence will prevent you from falling into that trap. But life has surprises, and things happen sometimes like in the movies. "To begin with, how are you going to know if he is married? Those who have an owner do not walk around with a big C on their foreheads. they don't mean anything either. Guild professionals even put their hands in the sun without the ring, so as not to have a telltale white imprint.

And besides, women subconsciously put on a blindfold when they find a man they like. They don't even think that he could be married. It is later when the doubt arises. He never shows up on the weekends and prefers to have lunch rather than dinner. He doesn't want to go out in a group either ... and says he doesn't like women with perfume.

When this point is reached, there is only one alternative. Get straight to the point, asking him: "Tell me, you are married, right? There is only something more effective than that, and that is to ask the question the day you meet him, when you are still in time to run away, without looking back.

Once he confesses to being married, prepare to listen to a series of explanations that he will add for nothing, without your request: He was never in love with his wife .. He married because the family pressured him to settle down ... She did not you understand ... Ah, if he could have a woman like you by his side!

Slowly and against your better judgment, you begin to identify with all these feelings (it is incredible how you believe what you want to believe), and from there to draw plans for a future that, at best is uncertain, there are few steps .

But the statistics speak, and they say that, today more than ever, there are married men who have an extramarital affair. Men who, however, have no intention of ending their comfortable married life. Because it is one thing to aspire to an intimate relationship with a woman who makes them feel like Superman, but at the same time forces them to strive to be fun, seductive and full of vitality, and another is to renounce the tranquility of their environment, where no one will. ask them to be romantic or to eat by candlelight, or to say "I love you" every half hour.

When this reality comes out, it is when the "other" is in danger. Not all of them have the strength to accept that that man they love so much can feel greater well-being away from them. To live with that fact you have to be strong and you know what? You have to put your feelings aside and use your brain. Do you feel capable of this feat?

If your answer is affirmative, do you think that you can start a long struggle, in which months maybe years of your life will go, it means that you belong to a small minority. Because not all the "others fail. Some even see the day come when he gets a role that leaves him free to stay with them. But those cases are the fewest and. Meanwhile, years will pass without being able to leave openly as a couple, plan a hassle free vacation or take him home to meet the family.

And there are those dates that are supposed to be happy, and that for you are a nightmare. Christmas. New Years are nostalgia-laden days, when you can't even call him on the phone. And the presents? His for him must be impersonal, so that they do not arouse suspicion. The "other that manages to survive must build a shell, must harden themselves and learn to live in the present, denying themselves a future together, denying themselves the very human desire to show off that love, to proclaim it to the world.

And you don't have to have the strength of a rock to see him go after a night of passion? That is the most painful proof that he is not hers. That when a certain time has arrived, he must go where the woman who bears his name awaits him.

Why do these situations occur? What happens inside a man's brain to induce him to live with one woman and love another? Why don't you define your situation? Because as bored and frustrated as they are, as much as the marriage has lost all meaning, the prospect of a divorce terrifies them. That of undressing the soul before that wife who is often a good woman and asking her for her freedom ... later going through the emotional blackmail, the financial arrangements, the lawyers, all that is a mountain that comes to them.

Believe me If love has hit you in such a way that you have agreed to be the other woman, decide also to cultivate your strength and recognize that men have reasons for affairs, but that finding a new wife is not among them.

The reasons you have for tolerating and nurturing this situation are yours and no one else's. But you want to realize that whatever your future, in the present you have to be strong. Very strong.

Remember almost no man gives up his home for an "adventure." Are you really willing to always be just the other one?