I miss you so much my little Angel💔💔

It's been two weeks since I gave birth to you, you help me push through inside in my tummy so that we became safe throughout the laboring period, how happy we were when I hear you cry upon seeing the outside world, and papa is smiling when we went outside that door safe and sound, all the hardness, sweat, and nervousness fade away when I made skin to skin to you my love, but, you easily leaving me 24 hours upon seeing you 💔😢 hays, I can still remember that sweet little eyes, the eye to eye contact we made during our skin to skin. It's so hard to forget you baby.😭

I regret all the what if's in my mind. How painful it is, every night I cried, I longed for babysitting with you, I missed you so much every day and every night. No one will understand the mother's feelings.

During day time I can hide my feeling and I can forget the pain, but when the evening comes and when I'm alone, I feel insane, the pain is unbearable. Oh, God! Please heal me past all this pain.

I know that God has a purpose for everything, but I can't understand the process, I'm so sorry.

I ask God, the 1 day is not enough to be with my little angel baby, but why.

I regret not kissing him because I'm so tired from my laboring and my body needs rest, when I woke up, his gone. His leaving me instantly without feeding at my breast, it's so heartbreaking.

I carried you in my womb for nine months, we have check-ups every month to make sure that we are healthy and safe, I didn't know the real reason for everything, if I have lapses please forgive me, baby. I am confident because I thought you were like your two older brothers who were strong and wild, I realized later that you are different from them, I'm so sorry for not taking care of you that much, but I know that you know how much I love you.

Last month I updated in here my pregnancy journey, and I thought of sharing here again after delivery, but sad to say, I want to share it here now just to divert my time from thinking about him.

He is so sweet that he never let me feel the pain long.

He is so adorable that all the pain I felt is fade away upon seeing him.

I love you with all my heart and I will never forget you baby LEONIDAS.

Until we meet again baby.

Would you still recognize me when that time comes? 😭 would you still call me mom when we see each other again? I wish to, cause when that times happen, I will hug and kiss you very tight.

Please guard and protect your two big brothers baby, and please help me and papa in our daily lives to take care of your two siblings, please don't get jealous of them and I know you won't cause you are so purely hearted baby I know.

I love you and I missed you so dearly.

Ps. Thank you for this platform I share and I can burst out tears.