Not a jealous boyfriend.

March 18, 2022

I met Gio at the workplace. At first, I didn't find him attractive. It was Kevin who instantly catch my attention. Later on, I have observed their actions and their behavior. I have found out that Gio is more attractive than Kevin.

Gio is the very important person in the office. He is a photographer slash lay-out artist. He is excellent on his field and his expertise is in demand plus he often gets good feedbacks. He never talks to me when everyone in the office is around. I was shocked when he asked me questions when it was still just the two of us in the office. I'm starting to think that he has a huge crush on me that he can't even bring himself to start a conversation with me when everyone is around.

He goes to the office early. He would sweep the dust on the floor and throw the trash first before getting immersed into his day's agenda. He is a joker to everyone in the office but me. Through weeks of being in the same place together, I learned about how resentful he was at our boss who would always reprimand him for going home leaving a messy table. Our boss is very particular with keeping things in order before going home.

Do you think I have a crush on Gio? I mean, I already have a boyfriend and I'm sure that he is number one in my heart but why is it that I'm attracted to other person? Does the word attraction really fit? Could we replace that word with admiration? Or are they the same? I have told my boyfriend that I have a crush in the office but he didn't react. When asked if he is jealous, he said no and I can see the truth in his eyes. He is not really jealous. Or he never loved me at all. Sometimes, I hate him because he is not a jealous boyfriend. He said it's okay with him as long as it is just crush. He also said that he trusts me completely and that he knows me very well.

Maybe I just missed him. He didn't message me today because last night we argue about him not quitting his vice. I wanted to support him on the things that makes him happy but this thing doesn't make me happy at all. He told me that he doesn't have plans of pursuing that thing and he is just kidding at me. But you know, girls can be moody and all sort of things. I have come to the point where I told him to stop chatting me and he was obedient enough. Thanks be to God. Peace and all good now. No boyfriend, no problem.

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I was supposed to write my frustrations today after I saw a post about my friend getting hired at Deped. As much as I wanted to clap for my friend's success, I can't help but feel sorry for myself. This society has pressured me that much. I don't know anymore if I still want to get hired by Deped, I remember when I worked as a subsitute teacher, I find the job tiring and endless. Not to mention the struggle of having to mingle and get along with co-teachers which is very difficult to me as an introvert. Also, a part of me don't like them and their work ethics. Shhh. Don't tell anybody about this. Plus the system is toxic. Imagine letting a non-reader graduate just because of the motto, 'no student left behind'. Owww no! I may sound like I'm sour-graping and I'm bitter because I'm not permanent yet but those are sad reality. Money-wise, it is a good profession and you earn a lot of respect especially if you are already working in the field.

As of the moment, I am still enjoying the time of waiting.lol. To be honest, I want to get in already and see if the job realt suits me. I'll find out if my destiny will be in the classroom and if it is what I'm called to do. I feel like I have lost a lot of time. When I'll get in, I would definitely explore and find out where I am really called for. From there, I will adjust my sails.

*Lead Image is from Unsplash.com

That is all for today my friends. I was planning to write a love story but I don't know how to end it. So, until the next read.