Musings of a Sister

31 40

February 24, 2022

My sister is sad about her group of friends not inviting her when they went out. She told me how upset she is when they went job hunting and didn't inform her about it. She has been friends with these people for over two years now. They would celebrate birthdays and special occasion together if ever they won't be able to come to their respective homes. During the pandemic and the typhoon, they became much closer as they became more compassionate towards each other.

I was a bit of disappointed when I've heard about her situation. For two years of staying in Cebu, this is the first time that I felt like she is weak and helpless. Many times before she would tell me that she miss home but still she has high hopes of achieving her dreams and she is still sure of the path that she is taking. Now, she often tells me that she is depressed. She feels insecure because many of her classmates are already successful. She feels left behind.

Listening to her musings, I admit that I find her childish. My sister is already twenty-five and I find her sentiments minimal and easy to solve. I wanted to scold her and tell her to grow up so she would come to her senses however we cannot measure our tolerance with just one measuring tape. I cannot invalidate her feelings just because I feel like it is childish. I cannot invalidate her feelings and tell her to stop being depressed just because I feel like there are a lot more things that are depressing.

I find it difficult to console her so I told her about the things that I'm sad and depressed about. I told her about my experiences that I have never shared to anyone, not even my mom. I shared to her how I was able to come out in that phase.

I told her I have been there. Many times before, my tears would suddenly make its way to my checks while I'm still having classes. At the boarding house, I would cry myself to sleep. In the morning, I would wake up with a heavy and anxious heart. I endured all of it and never told anyone about it, not even the Lord. I know He was aware of it but I have never told Him about my sentiments. I never asked him to heal my broken heart. I am pretty sure that what and who I am today is a product of someone else's prayer, most probably my mom's.

I am not sad anymore about my roommate moving to a new boarding house. I have accepted the fact that friends really grow apart. I am not that sad and pressured anymore about not having an item in Deped. I have come to the conclusion that if it is for you, the universe would conspire for you to have it.

I didn't like being in the dark. Having a heavy heart is not easy. The most relaxing part is through crying and listening to sad songs but I never embraced being depressed because no one likes to be with sad people. No one wants to deal with sad people. So, I find ways to keep myself busy so I won't remember the things that make me sad. I have drowned myself to trying new things so my mind would be occupied thinking of things that will be beneficial to me.

I wanted to help myself and let myself heal and get fixed. It is the least I can do for the people I love. I want to be a functioning human being so I can be of better service to the community and for me to be able to portray the many roles that I am designated to: as a daughter, a sister, a friend and an aunt.

I hope that what I shared to my sister can somehow help her. I pray that she will not be in this dark moments for a long time. I hope she would be able to pick herself up because no one can help her until she decides to help herself.

I'm pretty sure that all of us are somehow depressed. It may not be that much or that destructive. But maybe we all have fair share of things that makes us sad, insecure, pressured and depressed. I hope we won't get drowned for a long time. I hope we can grasp for air from time to time. Help yourself.

*Lead Image is from Unsplash.com

Thanks for reading. Until then.

Thank you madam@Bloghound for staying in my sponsor's block and for continuosly believing in me.

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Comments

I felt her. There was a time before when I felt like an outcast. I felt like don't belong. But I have moved on. Your sister is very soft and I hope she feels better now.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

I hope too sist

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2 years ago

Indeed we all differ in how we cope. What we can do instead is to be more understanding about how others feels and just be there for them. Sometimes we only need someone to listen.

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2 years ago

Truth!

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2 years ago

Di lahat Ng kaibigan natin sis kasama sa ups and downs sa buhay natin kya lesson learned na din ako non. Mga sisters ko ang mamon ng heart talaga hanggang iyak na lng ang kaya. Kaluoy pud sis di kabalo manukol ug need pa nga ako ang muaway hahahaha.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Sija raman lagi didto usa sis so sakit nija ug di sija iinvite sa ija friends.

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2 years ago

Mao ng geingon sis nga plastic diay iya mga friends ky wa sya apila sa takos. Ako ana mo lie low ko ky dghn mas worth it.

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2 years ago

Lagi sis no. No need jod maguol. Dapat kebs lang ang attitude. You deserve better ganun

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2 years ago

Dpat ana lng jud buhaton sis ky di nato na kawalan mga sama ana nga batasan. Kebs jud.

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2 years ago

She seems really soft and kind hearted that is why she is suffering from one kind of inferiority complex. If I were there I would definitely feel the same but feeling low, overthinking we can't change the situation so we must need to accept what is happening to us.

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2 years ago

True she has this not-so-strong personality.

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2 years ago

Oh God bless you bhe. You are a blessing to your sister. I'm the eldest and I can relate to that. Even if I'm her, I will get upset good thing you're her sister ready to cheer her up.

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2 years ago

Thank you sis. I hope she won't be upset for a long time and that she would be happy with her own company.

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2 years ago

All cannot be same in one home. You are strong, your sister will learn from you. Just support her.

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2 years ago

I hope so friend. Thank you

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2 years ago

Hindi talaga joke ang depression mamsh kasi naranasan ko din yan. Bat naman ganun mamsh. Bat hindi niyaya yung sister mo ng mga friends niya. 🥺 I know God will help her mamsh. Maging okay lang siya. Ikaw din mamsh. Andito lang kami lagi. Be strong mamsh.

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2 years ago

Basta maamsh murag naa sila misunderstanding and suya suya pero unta ma okay ra sija even without their presence.

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2 years ago

Mao gayud nay problema mamsh kanang suya suya pero kung mubati sila in ana dili sila real friends. Ma okay lang siya mamsh. Pagsuway ra ang tanan. 🙏

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2 years ago

Lage maamsh ja mangamatay rapod ta tanan hahah

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2 years ago

Mao gayud mamsh. Nganung kailangan man nila buhaton to. Ka grabe gud murag walay pinagsamahan.

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2 years ago

Masarap talaga magkaroon ng kapatid na anjan para damayan ka at bigyan ka ng advices. You are a good sister sis, I know your sister will learn from you as I learned from my ate also :) Though She's not my ate talaga kasi pinsan . Magkasinabot man mi hihi siya ahu masultihan kay wa man koy ate

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2 years ago

Lage maamsh maguol pod baja ta na naay problema ato mga igsuon no. Mga sumpay man lage tinae

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2 years ago

Ahyy ngano nag sis ko haha. NBitaw memsh, ana jud na. Di man lagge matalikdan ang mga igsuon uie hahaha bisan unsa pa guro kabadlungon ba

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2 years ago

Lage oy laban gihapon mobati gihapon ta

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2 years ago

Hahahaha buutana uie. Bitaw, Laban memsh kay pamilya man lage

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2 years ago

Tell your sister that she shouldn't put her full hope on people, they will always disappoint or do things that will make you say all day. Not everyone was suppose to be part of her journey in life. Let her move on and expect more greater things

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2 years ago

True. Maybe they are only temporary people in her life. Meant to teach her something.

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2 years ago

They were just passing through her life. Moving on is the best thing she will do for herself now

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2 years ago

True. It may take time but things will be better in time.

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2 years ago

You really are a caring person. That's why you take care of your sister's good and bad. your sister is so lucky, You are by her side.

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2 years ago

I'm blessed to have her as my sister too

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2 years ago