Have you ever felt like life is sipping out the best of you? The feeling when you no longer complain and you just allow life to laugh at you. I really don't know what is appropriate to share just like how I don't know how to figure my own life.
Today is one of the days when I just don't feel like living. Actually, I don't know if these past few days I've been living. Living is different from surviving. For me, living for me is creating your dream and discovering the things you can do. Surviving is different. For me, it means that the problems that life throws at you are not strong enough to knock you off.
Challenges after challenges piles like unattended paper works in an office table. The difference is that these challenges level up and progresses to another stage even though you loss in the previous game. The next level would only provide different challenge and surely, a harder one that would make you feel even more depressed.
You see, sometimes, I don't get surprised when people would commit suicide. Life is to mean and unfair to play at you. That eventhough you are already in the verge of giving up, he never stops throwing stones at you. People would say that it may be stormy now but it can't rain forever. That might be true to some but not for all. People would say that we are on the same boat no that too is not true at all. We are in the same ocean riding on a different mode of transportation that floats. Some are on a yacht, on a ship, on a boat or worse on a random floating water container that people throw at sea.
Sadness doesn't choose people. We often witness people being sad over their job. Some people feel sad of being pressured at work and some feel sad because of the absence of work. Rich people too is not exempted of sadness. My cousin who has everything even cry evey night. She is a rich kid with beauty and brain. The only problem is that she got no teaching item yet in DepEd. She waited and then she got tired so every night she would cry to the point that her parents tapped someone from DepEd Division to give her a teaching item. In just a snap, my cousin's smile is visible in her face again. She is back to her old self, happy and energetic and feeling satisfied with life. And just like that, an aspiring teacher too just lost her opportunity to teach because her teaching item is given to another.
You see, no matter how we work hard for our dreams, religiously pray to the Almighty and just when we thought that our dreams are within our reach, a thief comes and run away with our dreams. I don't know how people would have the guts to be happy and proud of their achievement when we all know that they really don't deserve it, that another person is hurting because it was supposed to be the realization of his/her dream.
My sister too was rob of the same opportunity. It was supposed to be her teaching item but it was given to another applicant just because she is the niece of the supervisor. My sister lose faith, hope and respect in our province teacher hiring system that she decided to take another path. But still I know in my heart that she still has the same longing to be in the teaching field.
To add insult to the injury, I know one of my classmate who confidently posts details of her ranking journey and even bragging that she will be hired this year. I may be feeling bitter about her but the truth is her score never meet the standard. I know, we all know that. She even told me one day that she asked help from one of the people in charge pf the hirng process and even handed money to her. She told me this like it is normal and it is a thing to be proud of.
Well, life really has ways of molding us to be desperate. Challenges like these calls for desperate moves. I can't blame my classmate. She has a family to feed. I just feel bad that the people who has authority are allowing still allowing this practices like it has become a tradition.
Come on people, it is already 2021 and in months we will be jumping in the year 2022. Different year, same practices.
Sorry for the rant. My article wasn't supposed to be written this way. I just want to tell you about how sad I am. But it turns out that this is the thing I am sad about.
*Lead Image from Unsplash.com
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September 29, 2021
6:59 pm | wednesday
Murakamii.7
Ganun talaga. People with money, power and connections believed they are entitled to everything. It is very sad and frustrating. There will always be people who would abuse it. 😔