My Single Life

So today I didn't have anything in mind to write and decided to look inward on what to write about. It then dawned on me that I could write about something trivial, my love life. I know this is funny and you must be laughing inside even I, am but wait hear me out first.

There is really nothing interesting about my love life even though you might think otherwise. It is boring and very depressing. Like how single can a guy be. I am single to stupor but that doesn't mean I don't have feelings or that I am not willing to enter a relationship.

I am a very complicated person even too complicated for my own good. Till this date I don't know what exactly I want. Whether I want to be in a relationship or not. It is really confusing and I am still trying to discover myself and what I want.

That doesn't mean I don't get oppressed or depressed when I see couples around me. It places a sort of pressure on me and a cloud of loneliness. I begin to wonder why I can't get someone to love me like that. Someone to care for me and hold me tight. To feel loved is all I want. All this forming hard guy is not form me. I desire to love and be loved.

I know most guys won't say this outside and hide their true intentions or feelings. Maybe it is a natural or adaptive behavior to hide your feelings so as not to be rejected. It is better for people not to know than for them to know and serve you breakfast (heartbreak).

This is a safety mechanism against emotional trauma mostly from guys. On the other hand girls are really expressive when it comes relationship and love. They let people and the entire world know that they desire to love and be love infact always talking about marriage and how they will spoil their future husband.

There are many reasons for the difference between both genders in their form of expressing emotions but one thing brings them together, the desire to enter into a romantic relationship. Nobody wants to be alone no matter how many times they say it. We all want to have someone by our side. Someone that we can lean on and share our burdens with. This can be a close friend but most times it's your better half. We can survive alone but we thrive when we have someone special by our side.

I know I was supposed to talk about how single I am but I had to talk about this. I might be single but I still have a handful of female friends in my life thanks to my male friend. I don't really associate with the other gender not because I don't want to but because I am incredibly shy. I pray everyday for the confidence to walk up to a beautiful lady and talk to her. Maybe one day it will happen but it is not looking anytime soon.

Hopefully one day I won't be this single again and I would have someone to call my own. Till then food is bae.