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How To Deal With Hardships?

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Written by   308
7 months ago

I read something today which makes me feel really uncomfortable, partly because the poor guy lost his entire life savings and also because with the rise of gambling apps like Robinhood and Cryptocurrencies, there will be many more of such stories to come. Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20210302171421/https://www.reddit.com/r/PersonalFinanceCanada/comments/lvuhw9/lost_my_life_savings/

But first, let me share a little bit about my experience back in 2008-2009. That period was extremely challenging for me. Long story short, I trusted the wrong people and lost more than $100k of my money with them. That time was also the Global Financial Crisis and my business went from making $20000 profits every month to losses every month. I couldn’t even pay the office rent at the end!

During that time, I was also studying for my masters degree. What should have been a student loan easily paid off ended up as a bad debt and imagine I constantly had to deal with harassments from debt collectors. During the worst period of my life, I had to endure disparaging comments from my mom and I just left home with less than $100 in my wallet and bank account combined. I rather be homeless and endure hardships than having to suffer indignity. On that very day, my networth was negative so I believe most people would be in a better financial shape than I was back then.

While I did lost pretty much everything back then, my money my business my family, I didn’t lose my positive attitude and mindset about life. In fact, that period was the time I grew the most as a person. And that’s really what I wanted to share because I was hoping it would be helpful if ever you find yourself dealing with hardships in your life.

The most important thing when all hopes seem lost is to focus on what you have instead of what you had lost. For example, I lost everything but I was young and healthy and I look more handsome than Brad Pitt and of course I have a great sense of humor. Focus on what you have helps you to put your situation into perspective and gives you the necessary tools to get back up.

Another useful way to deal with hard times in your life is to have a growth mindset. Instead of beating yourself up, which is totally not helpful, try to see it from another angle, what can I learn from this lesson? Try not to see mistakes as failures or stupidity, but rather as a positive learning moment to grow as a person. Babies learnt to walk by constantly falling down and getting back up every single time because they don’t understand the meaning of failure. And I am glad babies are like that because if babies knew what society thinks of their failures, babies might give up walking after a few tries!

I find that it is easy for people to feel miserable when they have high expectations, sometimes these expectations came from comparing themselves to others or society pressures. The moment you liberate yourself from these expectations, you will find life much happier and easy going. I would recommend you guys to watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvCB5HT7eRs

I think society has done a really poor job with regards to human happiness. Society tells you that you need to have X or Y in order to be successful or happy and I am here to tell you that’s not true. Success and happiness meant different things to different people. And you know what? You can decide and change what success and happiness mean to you. Don’t let society decide that for you.

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Avatar for MobTwo
Written by   308
7 months ago
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Comments

Well said, in my case. It could be financial maybe your job doesn’t bring in the kind of money you need to do anything more than survive, so when you suffer a setback, you really struggle. You not only struggle with the financial issues, but you also struggle with your emotions. Not having the amount of money you need to live without the fear that comes along with being broke, sucks. You can be feeling great mentally and physically and able to perform at your best, but if you are struggling financially, there’s a good chance you’re causing more harm to your body with the stress, worry, and anger that comes along with it. This also plays a role in your personal life as well, doesn’t it?

We let our financial frustrations affect ourselves and the personal relationships around us. This brings with it more problems and and suffering, and pretty soon, we’re left with only two options. I think change and be forced into change You can change your circumstances to get out of your unwanted situation. It can be difficult to do this, especially when nothing but negativity surrounds you, but if you decide willingly to change your circumstances, you can. It’s just a matter of knowing how. Be forced into change It’s human nature to need to be constantly growing, evolving, and changing. If you are stagnant and stick in a routine for too long, what happens? Well, most of the time, you get a feeling of boredom, a desire for change, or despair that comes from being in a stalled state of progression. That’s just you telling yourself that you need to change something.

If we were to learn the process a little better, we could really help ourselves when it comes to understanding how to endure and overcome the very worst of our life’s hardships. Knowing that there is a specific reason we are in a hardship will help us to learn how to get through it in a positive way vs. a negative one. Anyway sorry for the essay comment, and thank you for this article, a lot sink in my mind right now.

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6 months ago

I totally understand you, life has presented us all with very difficult moments, but I think that as people, we really need these moments to grow in every way. Even the best drivers have an accident once in their life.

My father used to tell me that when we touch bottom it's not all bad, because once there all we have left is to go back up.

He passed away two months ago, on December 31st, you can imagine how much this affects me, but I always remember his words which are the ones that make me follow, because now at 20 years old I am the livelihood of my family (My mom and my brother of 4 years)

That is why every day I try very hard and move on, even though I live in a country where my opportunities are few (Venezuela), even though my economic situation is not stable, this does not stop me, because I am always struggling, improving and learning to overcome myself.

Having goals is what keeps us alive and struggling, What keeps me fighting? being able to get the money to pay for my college career, to graduate as my father always wanted, to be able to give my family what they deserve so much, to be able to emerge in a place where few succeed.

I want to thank you for this article, because I know that if you did it I can do it too, I will work very hard to achieve my goals and get to the top, because now that I am in the background, I only have to climb.

$ 10.05
7 months ago

<3

$ 0.00
7 months ago

Misfortunes are painful but they also open doors to opportunities. Your story is very educational and stimulating for many who go through stormy times. A hopeful story by virtue of the right attitude, sure, you can have the attitude but you have to move accordingly. The example of children when they start walking is very appropriate, I have already heard it, but the part where you advise to ignore criticism is not. I'd still be in my mom's arms.

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

PD: One question, when you got back on the road, did you also recover what you lost? Or did you get better things beyond the material? You don't have to answer me if you don't want to. The JOB story comes to mind.

$ 0.00
7 months ago

I didn't recover what I lost but it doesn't matter. Money has never really been the top priority in my life. I just want to be happy and it's very easy to be happy when there's nothing you want. It is when I want something very badly that I don't have it, then I feel miserable. And I try to avoid that.

It's interesting you brought up the JOB story, if we're thinking about the same thing. Because at that time, it was exactly what I told myself, that it's just a test from God and I will pass it. And looking back, I did pass it but I hope God don't give me anymore tests, lol.

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7 months ago

Nice and helpful articles. Please do more of this and support each other writers. Thanks

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7 months ago