THIS IS HILARIOUS -
A MUST READ
We all need a laugh in these times
Covid 19 is a Virus that is an educated, very smart and clever Virus.
Based on Government announcements, we know that:
ððŧ It won't infect people at a wedding, unless there's more than 50 people. And it also won't infect anyone at a funeral, as long as there's not more than 20 people. So not only can the virus count, it can also differentiate between a wedding and a funeral.
ððŧ This Virus owns a watch and can tell time. It does spread in public places and restaurants, but only after 9 pm and not before. So, it's safe to be out before 9 pm and not after 9 pm
.
ððŧ It also only infects if you're in a group of more than 4, but not at weddings or funerals where it's 50 and 20 people, obviously.
ððŧ Masks do work, that's why people will be fined for not wearing them, but not in pubs and restaurants, because as already discovered, the virus doesn't infect in pub or restaurants until after 9 pm.
ððŧ You can also safely remove your mask at a crowded eating place beause the Virus is polite and won't attack when you are eating.
ððŧ But don't remove your mask before food is served, as the Virus will attack if it sees you without mask and not eating.
ððŧ Cinemas, gyms, etc are also immune from the virus coz the virus can't afford cinema tickets or gym memberships.
ððŧ The Virus also sticks to specific postcodes and barricades, this is why some areas have stricter rules than others. And once you cross the border, the Virus will not follow you.
ððŧ The Virus attacks those who do not queue up for public transportation, so you see everyone practices social distancing and queue.
ððŧ But once inside the buses and commuter trains, then you are fine to be crowded because the Virus won't attack as it hates travelling in crowded public vehicles.
ððŧ But once you get off the crowded public vehicles, then you are not safe again in private vehicles and cannot travel in the same car because the Virus doesn't like those who are not from the same address travelling together in private cars.
ððŧ Oh, and political gatherings are perfectly fine in large groups regardless of any rules. That's because the Ministers set the rules, and the Virus obeys the rules.
ððŧ It's OK not to quarantine if the Minister says so and the Virus will look for other victims. It will not touch govt. employees or govt. pass holders.
ððŧ Prisoners are fine to be crowded and since they are in prison, the Virus doesn't like criminals, so social distancing is not important for them.
ððŧ The Virus is very merciful because it doesn't attack beggers and homeless people living on street and footpaths as it knows they cannot afford tests and hospitalisation.
ððŧ The Virus will not touch you for fifteen days if you have done a PCR test and proven negative.
ððŧ The Virus takes a vacation from waving at people during Festivals and returns to start a second wave.
Have a Blessed Day!
ðĪŠðĪŠðĪŠ
THIS IS HILARIOUS - A MUST READ
We all need a laugh in these times
Covid 19 is a Virus that is an educated, very smart and clever Virus.
Based on Government announcements, we know that:
ððŧ It won't infect people at a wedding, unless there's more than 50 people. And it also won't infect anyone at a funeral, as long as there's not more than 20 people. So not only can the virus count, it can also differentiate between a wedding and a funeral.
ððŧ This Virus owns a watch and can tell time. It does spread in public places and restaurants, but only after 9 pm and not before. So, it's safe to be out before 9 pm and not after 9 pm . ððŧ It also only infects if you're in a group of more than 4, but not at weddings or funerals where it's 50 and 20 people, obviously.
ððŧ Masks do work, that's why people will be fined for not wearing them, but not in pubs and restaurants, because as already discovered, the virus doesn't infect in pub or restaurants until after 9 pm.
ððŧ You can also safely remove your mask at a crowded eating place beause the Virus is polite and won't attack when you are eating.
ððŧ But don't remove your mask before food is served, as the Virus will attack if it sees you without mask and not eating.
ððŧ Cinemas, gyms, etc are also immune from the virus coz the virus can't afford cinema tickets or gym memberships.
ððŧ The Virus also sticks to specific postcodes and barricades, this is why some areas have stricter rules than others. And once you cross the border, the Virus will not follow you.
ððŧ The Virus attacks those who do not queue up for public transportation, so you see everyone practices social distancing and queue.
ððŧ But once inside the buses and commuter trains, then you are fine to be crowded because the Virus won't attack as it hates travelling in crowded public vehicles.
ððŧ But once you get off the crowded public vehicles, then you are not safe again in private vehicles and cannot travel in the same car because the Virus doesn't like those who are not from the same address travelling together in private cars.
ððŧ Oh, and political gatherings are perfectly fine in large groups regardless of any rules. That's because the Ministers set the rules, and the Virus obeys the rules.
ððŧ It's OK not to quarantine if the Minister says so and the Virus will look for other victims. It will not touch govt. employees or govt. pass holders.
ððŧ Prisoners are fine to be crowded and since they are in prison, the Virus doesn't like criminals, so social distancing is not important for them.
ððŧ The Virus is very merciful because it doesn't attack beggers and homeless people living on street and footpaths as it knows they cannot afford tests and hospitalisation.
ððŧ The Virus will not touch you for fifteen days if you have done a PCR test and proven negative.
ððŧ The Virus takes a vacation from waving at people during Festivals and returns to start a second wave.
Have a Blessed Day! ðĪŠðĪŠðĪŠ