A day in November 2013: I woke up at dawn feeling the cramps and pain in my abdomen and back, when I went to the toilet to pee, I already saw more blood, then my husband immediately prepared our things. In less than hour, I was in the emergency room of the hospital, waiting for my OB to come.
I felt the physical pain but more than that I felt the fear that I am losing a child.
LET's have first a short rewind.
2 Weeks Ago - I served in the Barangay Elections as one of the election board of canvassers. I do the secretarial work of recording proceedings of the election for our precinct. In the counting of votes, I was tasked to work on the tally board. We finished the job at around 11:00PM using the manual way. We delivered the ballot box to the municipal hall at around 1:00AM and went home. The next day, I reported to the office. I was still tired, but I need to report. That day, it was raining, it was a heavy rain. I went outside our office, our office has two step stairs before the pathway and accidentally I slipped and fell in one of the stairs. It was really a HARD SLIP, it hurt my butt.
The next day, I felt the signs of pregnancy and it was confirmed through a laboratory pregnancy test that I was pregnant. We were happy! After months of being married we will be having our first baby.
But happiness was changed with worry in the next days, I have spotting (one of the early signs of miscarriage). I went to my OB and she advised me to have a bed rest and give medications. I followed the OB's advise yet after almost a week, the signs becomes worst.
Back to the hospital
When my OB arrived, she told me that she would do what she can do, and ask me to be ready of what might be the next events. It was like I was in active labor that time. I was admitted, waiting for a positive progress, hoping and praying that the tiny one will be saved.
The next day, I had an ultrasound, and it was confirmed, we lose the child. I was sad, we were sad. I had some "sana". Should have I known earlier that I'm pregnant I should have been more careful. I start blaming myself, I had regrets. I had mixed emotions.
When I was discharged from the hospital, I was entitled for a maternity leave. In my lonely moments, when I'm alone in our room I had my silent cries. I prayed for comfort. I prayed that the Lord will help me find acceptance. The word of comforts of my family and friends cheered me up. The thought that they are praying for us. The thought of God's promises. The assurance that me and my husband were together in this time. The pain was slowly healing. Couple night out and weekend getaways helped. It took me months before I can say that I am really OK emotionally.
Looking back to that unforgettable event in my life, I always hold to the promise of this Bible verse.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28 KJV
Indeed all things work together for good, after the loss, God blessed us not only one but three (3) bubbly kids who are now giving us happiness.
CONCLUSION
God allows us to experience difficulties in life to give us a lesson and will make us stronger. That miscarriage allowed me to became mindful of my next pregnancies because research shows that most of the reasons of miscarriage is that those women don't know they are pregnant. We may not have the same stories to tell, but one thing is for sure, our Lord knows our circumstances and trusting the Lord's timing is always best.
This article is triggered by the article In Losing and Not Having a Child written by @LykeLyca . Thanks for reading!
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I'm sorry for your loss. As difficult as it is to grieve over someone you have not even seen or held, just know that your baby is watching over you now.