I was once a subject of public trial in Facebook

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Avatar for MizLhaine
3 years ago

One of the most unforgettable experiences in my life as a faculty was being subjected to a Public Trial through Facebook. Public Trial in a sense that you have been judged by many people without really knowing the real deal, the real story. And I say, it was not easy, stressful, I learned lessons the hard way and I have to go through pain for me to be stronger. 

The Story

The event happened I think in 2011, my early years in the academe, there was misunderstanding between the students and the faculty regarding the thesis defense. One of the students was a niece of a Public Commentator in Radio and I was surprised that the issue was broadcasted in Radio and even mentioned my name. When I knew about if from a friend/colleague, I feel  mad, I wanted to rebut, so I use the social media as a way of rebuttal to the issue.

Image from Pixabay by ijmaki

But, that was my biggest mistake, because the issue became the "hottest" issue in town and I became "famous" in social media. The radio commentator took a screenshot of my post and created an article about the issue in his page. He had many followers, of course he is a public figure. Then comments and opinions from other people were there, some were really hurting. Everytime, I read it, I want to defend myself but I decided not to because it will not help. I deleted my post about the issue and silently cried. Some judged me without knowing my side, without knowing the whole story, and if I tell my side, will they hear me? Will they listen? I was threatened to administrative cases and relevant matters relevant to my job.

One of my Mama's friends, who happens to know the family of the student, advised me to settle with them privately. And I ate all the PRIDE that I have, I personally went to their house, my Mama's friend accompanied me and I apologized for what happened and explained my side. Thankfully, the family accepted it. 

But sadly, the post in Facebook, was not taken down by the radio commentator even if the issue was handled privately. My agony was prolonged, there were still people commenting on it. But thank God, there was a person whom I know, who commented there , I cannot remember the exact words but the thought is "this post will not help in this issue, you are subjecting the faculty to public trial, that you give judgements, there is a proper venue to settle things". After that comment, the post was taken down. 

Realizations

I know I made a mistake in this situation, my mistake is that I posted my opinion, my thoughts out of anger and it just triggered a fire. But what I learned? If saying sorry even if you think you are the aggrieved one will be the best option, then do it. Issues will not be settled if both sides are thinking that they are right. 

Humans as we are, we make judgements, but it would be best if we would be mindful enough of how are we reacting to a matter, commenting on an issue especially if we don't really know the story behind.

Lastly, think before you click/press that POST button. This experience really taught me to be careful in posting. This is the reason why I am not posting much in my social media accounts especially my predicaments, my rants. 

Closing thoughts

There are times in our lives, that God allows circumstances for us to learn and to realize that we need to deal with situations in a proper way. These experience made me more stronger and taught me to be patient, humble and to keep myself on the ground. I am not perfect, I made mistakes, but thanks to God for the guidance and for sending me people who helped me go through the challenges in life. These experiences honed me to become better in my judgements and in my actions.

Thanks for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts. See you around.

Lead Image : Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 


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3 years ago

Comments

i salute you for being brave in dealing the matters in the humblest ways.. we can't control what others would think of us and their judgment.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Maam Lhaine, I am also a teacher that's why I can understand your side. The students that we have right now are different from the students before especially most of them are relying on social media. The type of students we have now think that they can say their every thought to the teacher without limitations. That is one of the reasons that I am not so active in social media right now. There was one experience I have last week that the student ask something from me in a rush because she needs it at that very moment without thinking that it's the weekend. She keeps calling me although I told her I was in my uncle's wake. I was really angry but I keep myself calm extending my patience because I am thinking about social media that is often one-sided. Sometimes, I can say that because of the advent of technology it is a bit scary to be a teacher.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

hello there co-teacher. I can really relate to rush demands of students. Students not submitting on time and then rushing you to make the grades because they need it. this time of pandemic that we can't see our students face to face, we really need to have more patience in handling things.

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3 years ago

That's correct Ms. Lhaine, since social media is the comfort zone of the students if they want to complain about us it is really accessible for them and it is really unfair to us not explaining our side of the story. That's why let us extend our patience to the highest level especially on the verge of this pandemic.

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3 years ago

Yan mandin ang maiba ngayon, they will throw u words, curse you and will call u different names without even knowing thate whole story. Ang gagaling lang, tapos gagamit pa ng media, na akala mo'y mga pa victim. Hate na hate ko yarn. Bat kasi kelangang ebroadcast sa buong madla ang issue. Hindi ma esettle privately, parang mga batang ewan lang. Tsk.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Yes, yong name calling talaga plus the threats na ireport mo yan sa ano, ganito ganyan, plus nagtatatag pa ng kahit sino sino. Nakakastress talaga and ayaw ko nang balikan talaga yon kaya now, silent type na si akow, kung may rants ako in mind nalang. hahaha

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3 years ago

Think and think and think some more before you post. Everyone has been given power by the social media, even the, I had to say it, eejits. There is no accountability anymore for anyone can create a bogus account. I'm glad that things have been settled now between you and the radio commentator.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Yes, that's really what I learned, posting our rants and our disappointments in social media will not really help. I was not able to settle with the radio commentator but to the family. He has no connection to me, except that he broadcasted me.

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3 years ago

Thank God you got over it. And lessons left. I have an article related to this drafted before. I think i will post it next

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Yes, thanks to God for sending me people who helped me go through it. It is best if really hear advices from those ahead of us. I will look forward on reading that article.

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3 years ago

Hi Ma'am lhaine, im glad po na natapos din ang issue.. Sana lang hindi umabot sa ganun ang issue kung pwede namang pag-usapan bakit kinailangan pang ibroadcast..Anyway ang mahalaga po natapos na ang issue...

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Yes, salamat talaga natapos yon kasi sobrang stressful. Napatawag pa nga ako sa higher office dahil don. but all is well and thanks to God.

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3 years ago

Think before you click tlga Lalo kapag may mga social media relatives and parents mo

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

agree ako dyan 100%, kaya now posting ko sa social media happy moments, more on information sharing nalang.

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3 years ago

That is a huge wave of unwanted and painful attention! Glad people helped out and thank God it was hushed now.

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3 years ago

Yes, painful talaga but because of it I learned a lot. it made me stronger now.

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3 years ago

I remember also my friend became famous on social media because of the shared post. Yes you're right think before we post. I'm glad that you're okay now Mizlhaine..

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Yes, instant famous talaga pag nagpost or nagshare ka ng something na issue, worst may mga kaso kaso pa. and I really vow that it would not happen to me again.

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3 years ago

Yes totoo po yan Mizlhaine.. ang dami kung kilala na ganyan...

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3 years ago

Social media has a big influence to almsot everybody's life. People tend to believe easily the things they see without even verifying its reliability. That's why, I stop posting about my personal life or rants in social media. Grabe po yung experience nyo po Ma'am :(

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Yes laki talaga ng influence ng social media. I can imagine the pain ng mga artista na binabash, yong may mga below the belt na talaga. Tao din naman sila. yes, kung my rants tayo sa atin nalang, walang maitutulong ang social media.

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3 years ago

That's what I'm preventing to happen about, I didn't post a lot in social media because of that. Many people doesn't know the real issue but still going to comment anything about yourself and it sucks

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3 years ago

Yes exactly, many people will comment as if they know the events, the situation. that's why now, I won't allow myself to be a cause of negativity in social media.

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3 years ago

It is so scary to be the subject of a public hate especially in social media. People are really brave when they can't be seen, and become useless keyboard warriors. In person, they would not dare do that.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Yes, as in scary ang public hate, and defending yourself would not help.

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3 years ago

Yes you are right this circumstance build us and make us fit for the future challenges

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3 years ago

Yes and those challenges, makes us stronger. Sometimes, it is really learning the hard way.

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3 years ago