"The How's of My Life"

19th Article

Saturday - January 29, 2022

G oo d Day!

Another wonderful and blessed day to all of us. Let's thank God for the new gift of life and for the salvation freely given for us. A new chapter of our lives to which we are able to continue what we didn't finish yesterday. Fulfilling the dreams and pursuing the goals towards success in the future.

I have lots of doubts and questions in my mind that sometimes make me think deeply. Many things behind my happiness ask me when, how and why this all happened to me? The impossible things that surround me let me realize the reality I've faced. Those are the facts that somehow I can't avoid the pain of consequences.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

- Albert Einstein

1. How to become happy without sadness behind it?

Every time I am happy there's always something that I can't explain inside of me. Maybe it's about fear and hesitation because every happiness there's a sadness behind it. The moment I become happy I never forget the outcome after all. As I experience life, my happiness is different from the joy I felt- it's a very unexplainable feeling. This is how I always ask myself and when should this all be answered. When should I become happy without doubt and hesitation? What will be the best thing to do to feel genuine happiness? Feel me if you also felt that way the same as mine.

Being happy isn't good and healthy if that all comes from a lie. Others see me smiling but deep inside I'm in pain. They only see the happy face but not the true struggles. It's hard to act in front of people that you're okay just to make them feel at ease. I don't want to become a burden to others and give them problems. The way I live today is the path that God allows in my life. I have no right to ask God what I become like this nor be mad at Him. All I do is to thank the Lord despite all I've been through.

1. How to let go of those once important people in your life?

This is the hardest thing for me to do. When there is someone who is leaving in my life, I don't want to just let them go. Saying the word "goodbye" is the hurtful thing I experienced in life. That's why when someone is leaving I don't want to say goodbye to them. If they want to leave then they must go without the right to say any words. This question always reminds me that I need to conquer this. Why? Because too many people in my life are now suddenly starting to leave me. They leave without valid reason and acceptable explanation. Feels like I'm a pathetic person. Maybe I'm useless and don't deserve to be loved anymore.

Did you ever try that situation too? Actually I am always thinking about where I've been wrong. Until I get the answer for that question and it's about pride and selfishness. I easily get tired when they make me feel that they don't want me to be part of their lives. Like pushing me away from them and seeing how unimportant I am. But I realized that it was all because of my pathetic attitude. I'm also an imperfect person that can also commit sin and mistakes. Only I regret it when they are gone and have no plan to come. Sadly but true.

1. How to become a brave person when problems, challenges and trials come?

One of my biggest fears is to become weaker when circumstances arrive. Crying is my favorite way because I don't want to be sick of the pain I felt in my heart. I want to be a conqueror and one of those bravest people in the world. When problems and challenges come, my first reaction is rattle and mindless. The moment I think about the problem, my tears we're going to fall down. I'm so weak and down in times of hardships. It is a challenge for me on how to become stronger. Despite all the things that have happened in my life, I'm still standing and remain grateful everyday.

1. How to live the life you dreamed for?

Poverty is one of the biggest hindrances why we can't afford and experience the abundance of life. I also had many insecurities in life, just like seeing those rich teens with luxury. They can afford to buy the best that they want to have and I pity myself, even my siblings who desire to have a life too. I used to dream about the life I want in the future, for my family as well as for myself. Having a broken family isn't an easy life to deal with. You need to adjust many things and sacrifice for the family. If you read some of my sister's articles you will know how pitiful and hard our life is. I am not sharing this to you just to have your sympathy, but to encourage you to continue life even in the darkest part of it.

I can't deny that sometimes I feel ashamed about what life I have but God teaches me to be thankful for what life I had in this world. We all know it's just temporary because our true life and happiness is in heaven. All we need to do is to cooperate and accept the things God allows in our lives. We must enjoy and cherish it. No matter how and when it takes, don't give up because the reward is in the future. All of this happened for God's purposes and I'm still grateful to my parents.

I have many questions in my mind but those are the best of all. There are many things I want to do in life and that "how's" I have in life will be overcome.

Thank you for being with me today and even in my next article. Have a great day everyone 💓

Thank you for reading ☺️

@Misz_BotipolJen_07 Like and Subscribe 📩

Checked out my best sponsors