If you're somewhere between mid-twenties and thirties, welcome to the club! Welcome to adulthood.
True or False there are times that you experience a serious Iow point in your life. You question if you're pursuing the right career or that you'll ever be happy with any career. You look at the mirror and ask yourself what ever happened to the younger version of you who is full of life, idealisms, ambition and positive energy You fear that youth is slipping from your hands, not you want nothing more than the stability that adulthood brings.
Entering adulthood is such a tough time. It's the time in life where we are thrown with a mix of successions of transitions graduation from college, finding a job, figuring out where and how to live, and searching for a life- long partner. All these make us feel doomed to end up confused, alone and worried if the future still holds a blue sky for us Worse, this trial of confused identity, misguided purpose and hopeless transition makes us feel lost, anxious and panicked. But you . are not alone, there are a lot more people out there who feel like this. This time of great anxiety in life is the quarter life crisis, and it's very real for a lot of young people.
I have witnessed a lot of friends and colleagues quit their jobs and pursue other careers only to quit again. Some continuously change from one city to another not knowing what they really want. And a few long-term relationships have been ended because of the sudden ear of being stuck in it forever. For me, quarter-life crisis hit me with the anxiety that I will grow old, stagnant in my present profession, while I see my colleagues travelling abroad, getting big pay checks, driving brand new cars having their dream weddings and settling down in their own home.
A crisis in your mid and late twenties is practically inevitable, and you're not the only person to feel this way. Successful and happy people from all walks of life have experience a similar crisis and even your parents did too. Your situation is not unique and what you're going through is totally normal according to renowned developmental psychologist, Eric Erikson in his 1950's theory of psychological development, emerging adults find themselves in the confluence of two major life stages, namely Identity vs. Confusion and Intimacy vs Isolation.
The stage of Identity vs Confusion encompasses the teen years and even those who are in their twenties or early thirties. It is this stage where your sense of identity develops-who you are, where you came from, where you stand for, where you fit in the society in other words, this stage is when you figure out who you want to be when you grow up Failing to figure this out may result in insecurity and confusion. This issue may not be resolved by the time when the next smack down comes arouNd Intimacy vs Isolation, which Erikson theorized spanned from age 20- 40 At this stage the ability to form close relationships, whether romantic or not, is the core of this challenge. If deep ties with family, friends or partner aren't formed, we risk loneliness and isolation in both two stages, a lot is at stake.
According to a more recent study and an updated version of the theory of Erikson made by Dr Oliver Robinson at the University of Greenwich, this time in life breaks dawn into five main phases:
Phase One. You feel trapped by your life choices, like your job relationship or both. You're living an autopilot.
Phase Two. You get a sense of " I've got to get out of this" and feels growing sense that change is possible if you just take a leap.
Phase Three. You quit the job, end a relationship, or break the commitment that's making you feel you trapped. Then you detach and enter a 'time-out' period where you try to rediscover who you are and who you want to be.
Phase Four: You begin rebuilding your life slowly but surely.
Phase Five: You develop new commitments that are more in line with your interests and aspirations.
Most people come out the other end in a better mental state, but this period of limbo can still reset in a lot of pain and Confusion. For the meantime, here are some tips or surviving this juncture in life.
Stop Comparing.
Talk about it.
Stop 'Should-ing' yourself
Realize is not a race.
Be realistic.
Do you want that promotion? Start by researching the qualifications for it and focus on a requirement one at a time. Do you want that cake business you always dreamed of when you were young? Start by investing in yourself with a short bake course, then a year after maybe you can buy a mini oven. Along the way, trouble and conflicts will come so expect the worst and be fluid about it.Once you start creating realistic, manageable plans to deal with your biggest stressor, you'll have much easier time keeping yourself out of the same type of crisis in the future.
The struggle of quarter-life crisis is real. At this stage we may know what we want out of life, but we don't know how and we don't know if it will happen This period seems to be a 'make or break juncture which will define whether our lives will be successful or a failure We are all very cautious at this point, almost feeling wary and worried at the same time. But no matter how lost and anxious you fed, remember that your situation is not unique Countless people have made it through, and so will you.
the great side