Cactus or Pillow? You choose...

There's this something that gained my attention while in the midst of comprehending some stories in wattpad, someone asked...

what will you choose if you are torn between someone you loved or someone that loves you? (mahal ka or mahal mo?)

This question makes me think, it's like choosing between hugging a pillow or a cactus haha.

If my right self were to answer that one inquiry, I would just simply choose someone that loves me, because in a simple manner of explaining it, heart can be taught to learn to love that person, but you can't blame those people that will choose the other one, because what they can do if their heart only beats for that specific person,

You can't force someone to love you back or reciprocate your feeling towards them , but you can teach yourself or your heart rather, to learn to love that person who loves you. So why bother to choose that person who doesn't love you. Why choose them over a person that deserves you, it's not okay namn if you choose a person you love but they love somebody else. What? Are you okay with that scenario? That being just a mere an extra to others love story.

Okay that's just my right self answering that one but if my masochistic self and a toxic trait that so addicted to red flags, my real score of mine about this one is, I would choose the latter, I will chose the person that I love, even that person doesn't love me, even that person love someone else, even he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, even if it pains me to the point that it hurts and just makes my world crumbling down every time I see that person loving someone else, in the arm of his lover.

Pain and suffering is part of being in love, for me love can make people go crazy, and do stuffs that they wouldn't find themselves doing it, but when cupid pierce the arrow to your heart and the same time cupid doesn't pierce your lovers heart.

It's the worst one, a single sided love,

Painful?...Yes so much,

Toxic?... Yes often times,

That person is my pain at the same time my pain reliever,

Even seeing him happily enjoying his lover existence, seeing them so full in love and laugh like there's no one around and the focus is only with each other, I will still sit their hearing his laugh, how can a laugh became so painful,

Even people said that I should grow up, and find someone that loves me, I'll still choose to stay to that person that I love, red flag na kung red flag and being labeles as stupid in love I don't care, how can I prevent myself to not live that person who only the one who can make my heart go pounding like crazy and give me so much butterflies but yeah reality is a b*tch, bye bye butterflies, pain lingers.

Okay haha to be honest I just want to experience a huge heart break when it comes to livers relationships, is it wierd? Well I'm weird hahaa I love pains to the point that I'm manifesting to get to feel one haha, actually I experience one sided live before but I'm now fine but still I choosed him over someone that showed me live and care and even court me haha, but as stupid as my heart I choose to be blinded by one sided and yeah ut hurts but it's enough, seing the person you live so happy is enough, loving him without asking fir anything back is enough for me I just want him to let me just adore him but yeab I moved on because I know it's just my stupidity and it's not very painful I want more haha

I want to experience comparing myself to someone they love and sya the lines through my mind

"I wish I was her because because you love her not me",

"I love you so damn much, I love you even you give me so much pain but still consider as my missing piece and my happiness"

(yes namn shempre joke lang yarn saya maging single hahaha)

But still, seriously, that person will always be my painful butterflies, my unrecruited love, my black coffee that allures and attract me but left me a bitter taste at the end. Again how can I untangle strings that's never been attached.

That's it for now, choose what your heart wants but still include and never disregard your mind because mind and heart are the essence and important part of falling in love, if heart is the only thing you want to followed then don't, used your mind and heart.

Love yourself first hahaha

Flexing my lovely sponsor here, thabk you always😊

lead Image source:

https://www.thediaryforlife.com/sad-quotes/

Image source:

https://www.facebook.com/One-sided-LOVE-422605435194022/posts

Have a great night to all. Sleepwell, I'm going to take my deep slumber na, since it's already late, goodnight everyone, enjoy the rest of the night, stay safe and keep yourself hydrated.