The Hardest Crusade (reflections)

It's hard, very hard, especially waking up every day feeling exhausted; that way of thinking in which you feel that your body is wearing out, your physique is diminishing every day.

And suddenly you realize and look and it turns out that you have already turned 55 years old. You are worried that the end of your existence is getting closer and closer. I think it is a normal concern that every human being has.

And it is here that you realize that you are on a crusade and that it is not just another crusade, but perhaps the most important of your entire life because fighting with that feeling of depression, that you wake up every day and feel worn out, that you just want to continue sleeping, but not because you feel tired but because you feel that you are resting and that the sensation is pleasant and that you renew your energy, that your brain needs that rest.

Those emotions and sensations can easily be classified as symptoms of depression and probably any psychiatrist or any psychologist will say that the person who talks about it is going through those depressive moments. But it is not like that, it is simply a philosophical reflection. At least in my case, in which I feed on all the experiences from day to day to be able to write stories, I usually take a moment to look at life and look at what it offers me.

And I have these moments of reflection that from time to time I like to share with you, with that small community of one or two readers who stop by and leave me their comments. I think it's important to do it.

And the crusade that I wage is against abandoning myself; To be honest, I am not lying to you that I do not lack the desire to lose myself within myself, as happened with my relatives who could not stand the pressure at one point in their lives and dementia knocked on their door and they let me approach them.

It seems to me that it is a very easy decision and very cowardly to give up and stop fighting. I also understand that there comes a time in people's lives when they have struggled so much, too much, that they no longer have the strength for anything else, that they really don't want anything anymore; Well, it is logical that you get tired of doing different things every day, of trying new formulas, of trying different solutions, of being creative; especially when it comes to something as complex as the art of writing, of entertaining other people, of inventing and creating worlds.

And that is something complex and difficult to achieve. But here some of us continue to fight that battle, trying to create worlds and take advantage of those thoughts that come to us, not to make them another crusade, but simply to turn them into interesting material and into a contribution that will motivate those who read these texts to continue. forward.

And this is the reflection and my writing for today.