New Year's day is one of the big and first holidays that the world celebrates. Most people celebrated New Year's Eve and New Year's day by visiting their families and friends, partying while working in the office, and hanging out with people that have a big part in their life. I just wished that we could've celebrated like that too.
It's just sad to say that we celebrated New Year's Day with no blast. I wish that we could've celebrated New Year's day differently for our Lil B. It is also one of the reasons why stopped writing articles on a daily basis. Me, feeling gloomy wasn't enough to describe my feelings at that time. It wasn't just feeling gloomy, I felt like another phase in that we were being tested as a family. Don't get me wrong, every person or family has their own trials or challenges to face but starting 2023 by crying.
Here's what happened...
NO BLAST FOR 2023
To cut the long story short, since 2023 started my husband's work schedule got more complicated. He has no days off from work unless the other party or office allowed him to. He barely got time to go home. He was just alone in the office being busy while other people (locals in Leyte) can go home and be with their families at the same time. Even on New Year's Eve, we weren't able to celebrate New Year's Eve/Day together too.
Night of New Year's Eve I felt really sad that Lil B and I got to stay in our apartment alone. I still insist on cooking something just to consider that we at least celebrated and welcomed 2023. I called my sisters and parents thru video call to greet them. When it was already around 10pm of 11pm. I decided to sleep, I decided to put Lil B to bed early out of sadness. I cried that we got to welcome 2023 that way. I told my parents and friends thru chat goodnight so I won't be bothered by happy greetings.
Since New Year's day, it has been raining every day in Tacloban. The worse part is, the street where we can only pass by to go outside of our street gets flooded about an ankle or higher. We can only go out and pass by if we have a car. We do have one but my husband is in almost every day in the office. If he's too busy at work, he can't come home and help me buy stuff and I ended up ordering food online instead. Aside from it being more pricy, sometimes the rider calls if the street is still flooded. It's a struggle for them too.
Lil B and I can't go out for a walk because it's raining. We can't hang out because my husband is too busy at work. Staying in the 4 corners of our little apartment, depression hit me again. Harder, but this time I got the urge to manage my actions at the least. I admit that it still reflects on Lil B which made me more guilty. I hate it.
MOMMY GOT SICK ON NEW YEAR'S DAY
Yes, I had flu cough because of the weather and maybe because my body is telling me something. Lil B and I were just alone in our apartment and I got sleepy most of the time. Good thing that whenever I fall asleep Lil B stays beside me just watching Tv. It's like she knows that I am not feeling well. Mothers really don't have the right to be sick because we still need to take care of our children.
I talked to my husband and asked or rather begged him if Lil B and I could at least go to my parents' back in Manila again. I can't afford to stay and feel that way for a while in Tacloban. I know that it's another hard decision because after 6 months of staying together as a family asking for another LDR setup could be harder. What I am worried about is Lil B's development too. Feeling anxious and depressed most of the time may affect her development too. I can't afford to lose my sanity again. Luckily and sadly, my husband agreed and it might be best for Lil B.
I realized that our Lil B is growing up so fast and is a very happy kid. Sharing this still affects me when I recall those things. Thanks for read.cash for allowing users to at least give us the freedom to share personal things and experiences that others can relate to. This platform has always been my breather and I am back, plus Rusty is back too. There's a lot to tell and I still have drafts here left unfinished and will probably finish it soon too.
In the meantime, let's go back to grinding!
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pictures posted are mine unless stated
in all original content. Micontingsabit