Am I a Failure?

When you hear someone being called a failure, what comes to mind? What is failure to you?

I know someone who tried to get admitted into the university for 4 good years, but always came up short again and again. The first year he wrote WAEC and JAMB he scored a whooping score of 305 in his JAMB but when the results for his WAEC came out, he got a 'D' in maths. Now get this, he is a very bright student who was unfortunate to have registered in a school where malpractice was a norm and being a principled person, he refused to participate in the malpractice and was ratted out by the two students sitting on his sides. One of the coordinating teachers forced him to use what was on the board and stand to be punished and still he wouldn't, and was made to stand without writing for over an hour and this caused him to lose time and as such could not complete the minimum amount of questions needed. Well, that year went by and he was pained but life went on. Would you say he's a failure? His dad certainly thought so!

The second year came, and he was not allowed to take any of the exams as his dad wasn't willing to waste money for Jamb and have him fail WAEC like the year before. The third year came and he was finally allowed to take only WAEC cos his dad wasn't willing to waste money on Jamb peradventure he fails WAEC again ( That's how much the dad thought of him as a failure). He did write at the same school and went through the same ordeal of having to choose his principles or participate in malpractice and he still chose to keep his principles. When the results came, he barely scaled it with a lot of C's, but he had done it. The next year, he was allowed to take JAMB and this time he successfully made just 250 and his Post-Utme score was 80. Now when cut-off mark was announced for his desired course; medicine and surgery, he didn't make it and was given Aquaculture and Fisheries Management instead.

Again, the dad didn't make light of letting him know how much he had failed him again. The boy couldn't take it anymore, he had to leave home and he elected to take the course given to him. At this point, would you call him a failure?

I asked him today if he would change it if he could, his answer was "over time I have asked myself why I wanted to study medicine and I have come to realize that since I was a kid people have been telling me that I will be a doctor and it just kind of stuck, but it was never really my dream. I finally came to this conclusion when I realized that as much as I love to help, I have always hated the sight of blood which is a regular sight in a hospital. Also I have always had a flair for farming,you know there's a feeling of seeing something you put in the ground sprout and grow and there's a feeling of fulfillment that comes with nurturing it, it can't really be explained".

Does that sound like a failure speaking?

The definition of failure in itself involves the ability to complete a desired task or achieve a desired goal. But today, people seem to be so literal in the application of this definition to life forgetting that life isn't that simple. It's not a new thing to have to try a particular thing multiple times and come up with nothing to show for it, and that's OK too. Nobody ever said everything you desire from life, you would get easily.

You cannot consider someone a failure because they weren't able to get a desired outcome. From my perspective, a failure is someone who gives up on a particular dream and goal, not someone who fails to achieve it at a set time. The key elements of failure or success as it related to human beings includes;

1. Attitude: sometimes we set out to achieve a goal, but even before we get to doing it, we already have a negative mindset of failing; we already expected to fail before the actual task. That kind of person will surely fail at the desired task no matter how easy it is to complete. A person's mindset has a way of affecting everything the person does, for it's said whatever you will achieve in life, you must first fully conceive it in your heart and believe you will achieve it. Hence one of the biggest antidote to probably failing is to have a positive mindset and attitude.

2. Perseverance: There are times when I have had to try multiple times before I successfully completed Anything. Now, all those times I was unable to get it done, did I fail? No. If I had given up, that would have made me a failure, but I didn't and eventually got it done; that's perseverance. The ability to keep looking for better ways to get things until you finally get it done.

3. Mindset: This is one of the biggest antidote to feeling like a failure. Now let's go back to the guy in my story. When I asked him, do you think you failed? He answered " If I had made medicine, that would have been the real failure. I would have been frustrated there, I would eventually have felt like I was wasting my life, I eventually would have hated myself for allowing people decide my life for me. Today somehow someway I realize everything that happened was for a reason, and I wouldn't have it any other way as I feel better fulfilled where I am and there are a lot of things I would not have had if things had turned out differently". That's a great mindset to have! Seeing the best of every moment is a great way to overcome any form of negative feeling or emotions.

Whether you're a failure or not is really a thing of the mind.

Right now I'm wondering if I'm writing and article on failure because I'm feeling like one myself. You can't blame me, I've been away for awhile all for a certain practical I had. I did say I would write an article about it but right now I don't feel like it cos the there was no result form the practical and you could translate that failure. I'm literally loathing myself right now cos all my efforts have gone to waste. I even sacrificed posting here on read.cash all to no avail. This doesn't mean I'm giving up though, we're riding again to redo it and I'm sure this time it will be a blast. Show me some love by wishing me luck and praying for me!

Thanks for reading, you all are truly amazing.

Mhizutty the voice of truth🎵🎶🎵