The Seaman II : I made sure its mine.

If you think its just a prank it wasn't she really has a bumpy bump in her tummy.

My angered boiled at the pier, I guess, everyone would right? What do you think would you do? After seeing your woman bearing a child without you touching her? I was so scared as shit if, it was true, or a prank. I didn't land at april to call it as april's fool. I burst out my voice, like the movies, all my bags and things slowly fell from my hold. I confronted her, "Why are you pregnant?" Everyone around us was shock. She then burst out, crying. I don't know why would she cry. Was it my fault?

We talked. She and her best friend, drank that night and did it. Just one time, she said. They both regretted it. But I was dumbfounded, when she said that, If I love her I would be willing to be with her, and own her child as mine. I was devastated, roasted, with her words. Astonished of her suggestions. But, I loved her too much, and I am ready to be with her no matter what. But this, I think it wasn't right. God knows it hurts. So bad. Pain was all over and love was taken all behind.

It took all my sanity to get through it. She's the girl I only love. And everything I dreamed was for her, for us. Even, sailing was for her. What else could go wrong? We were happy. She just have to wait.

I have been doing crazy everyday. My family was worried of me, even, find a job for me to kept my sanity. My mother wants me to go and sail to a ship but that won't work, my father wants me to go with him in Dubai, to be a welder, had enrolled me to TESDA, to get a National Certificate II. I enrolled studied for 6 months, passed the exam. But, it wasn't right to go. I know, I don't, It won't do me good either. I took a vacation for 5 months, addicted to mobile games, and my family have seen me as, a baggage, that they needed to feed, I lost all my confidence, but still, I needed to work. To at least help, pay for my food.

My Tita knows someone, in the mall as she has been working to it, and applied me as a bagger. The work is tough, but I was trained as hard as this. I get by with this I sad to myself.

Leah, had tried to talk to me, to asked forgiveness, she already gave birth to her child, she looks lovely and happy. And she was with Lloyd. Her best friend. They look happy and I feel hurt, the pain just won't go away. I drank out that night, and on morning I have found myself on the road, awaken by the sun light and I look up myself. My watch is gone, so is my wallet. The left part of my lip was swollen. I can't remember anything but I walk and shout at the park where I am right now and some kids on the park had laugh on me and they tried to take everything on me. I was so hopeless drank and I let them take away everything. I laugh after remembering what had happened. And everything seems clear I am not gonna be like this anymore. Only the problem was, how can I go home? I am hopeless.

Then an angel came, I saw this girl, humming while walking in the park, in her ID lace Department of Environment and Natural Resources. Hmmn she works in the government. She walk like she has a lot of time. Enjoying the park. And she walk passed me, I held my hand, as if begging. I can't help myself but laugh in my mind at my misfortune. She look at me, look at me with pity. And handed me a 20 pesos! Oh my God! There's still humanity in the world! I can't help but hugged her and say my thank you then run away after. Promising myself I would find her once I am all okay.

Years passed by I had changed from jobs to jobs. And eventually had decided to focus on one. I was hired as a supervisor and I was having enough I can say everything is going smoothly and I have accepted all that Leah won't be mine and she's destined to someone else, but the fact that my dreams to sails include her on the picture I didn't want to pursue that again. Its not that I haven't move on yet, but I want to make a new dream dedicated to my angel.

Actually two angels, yes I have find the right girl, the angel park girl, after slowly building the sanity I have lost, I find security to her, and I can definitely say she's more than I deserved. It might be due to my experience to Leah, but I ashamed to tell that, we have the baby first before I married my wife. And this time I made sure its mine! Yes its mine! I am already a daddy!

Some fear are still there but I still managed to get the hang of it. Not all girls, are like leah and my love for angel was greater than all fears I have experience. She let me grows and take care of me like how she take care the environment for the better future.

Forgiveness. Acceptance. Love. And later if there is a need to conquer the sea all over again, for my family. I would. But for now supervisory works for me!

I just want to remind you that, if somethings goes wrong with your plans, something much better would come. Mourn. Cry. Hate. But, don't stay mourning for the dreams that failed, instead make it an inspiration to dive to a better place.

The Seaman without the sea.

The End :)

It is not always butterfly in the stomach, sometimes it is worm. Hahaha

Hope love comes to you, and forgiveness knock your door, if anything you think isn't working on your end. Let love live, as per my favorite author here, Prof. Passionate! Sadly he wasn't writing anymore! I kind of missed the learnings he shared!

Hehe how was my fiction story? Omg. I am losing stories to write. Haha.

Can you be my inspiration? Hahaha 😆 Rawr. Btw if you missed the part I this is it!

The Seaman I. We just kissed.

T H A N K S F O R R E A D I N G !!! 

Credits

Thanks to Sean Pierce @prevailz for making the lead image available freely on Unsplash 🎁 https://unsplash.com/photos/gCs1ZFbGv0U