Part 1: https://read.cash/@Mayt/our-first-ever-tragedy-as-a-couple-part-1-65be388f
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But he refused. He said I can't go near him. Everyone who entered the covid ward cannot have any physical contact with the people outside. That's how the hospital strictly set their rules and regulations. So that time, I don't know how to comfort him. I know that intubation can worsen the situation of our Mom. But he said that he don't have any choice but to agree to it. The oxygen can no longer supply my Mom's necessities, so she can not breathe normally. Her face becomes dark as black which means she's losing so much oxygen at that time. Even though I know the intubation can worsen the situation and can make Mom gone so fast, I just positively said to my husband, "Don't worry Hon, tama ang desisyon mo. Huwag mo sisihin sarili mo sa nangyayari kasi ginagawa mong lahat para maging okay si Ma." (Don't worry Hon, you made the right decision. Don't blame yourself for what's happening because you're doing everything to make Ma okay.) And he cried so hard. That's the second time I saw him crying. He said he needs to go back inside coz he just asks the nurse to supply Mom's oxygen by pumping. Then I realized how bad his situation is inside. I thought he's just monitoring Mom without any problem at all but looks like I'm the one who has a good sleep and condition outside.
While seeing him groaning while stating every person I should call, that's when I realized Mom can no longer be with us at home. So that moment, after he went back inside I started to shed tears too. I don't want him to see me crying as I want to show him that I'm strong and can be the source of strength. But at that moment, everything sinks in. Mom is just 56 years old, which means so young to die. But I didn't waste so much time crying. I want to contact my father-in-law coz he's the first person who should know the situation. At that time I don't have a load to call or text him. So I contact first whoever I saw on messenger that can provide me instant load. Good thing my Uncle Japhet who provided me load before for free is online. So he's the one I beg for the load. Also, I saw one friend who I know I can be trusted to call my father-in-law. So I asked her if she can call him for me, stating that my Mom can no longer be with us since her situation is crucial. If he wants to saw her before she died, he needs to go to the hospital that instant. That was based on the doctor's statement. Good thing, this good friend agreed and called my Dad. And she said Dad will eventually go to the hospital. And that time my cellphone battery is only 5%. I also received the load but that instant it shut down. That's a big problem. I don't have any communication inside the ward and for those people, I need to contact.
So, I went to the entrance of the ward to ask them if I can charge my phone there. They're so busy inside so I just voluntarily charge my phone without any permission from them. I opened my phone in case someone made a call, put it in a full volume to hear it even I'm far, and go back to where I stayed. I hear it ringing, so I went back, and one nurse was outside. That moment I tell her I charged my phone there because I need it for communication. And that instant, she asked me if I'm the runner of my Mom. I said yes, I am. She asked me if I want to go inside to help the watcher but that means I need to be quarantined for 14 days. I hurriedly said yes. I told her the watcher is my husband so we're just staying under one roof after all. So that moment, she gave me paper and a ballpen to sign that I agreed to it. She also told me that my Mom will be transferred at 7 am to the ICU. This means we don't need to pump for her oxygen coz in ICU there's a machine that can be used for the intubation. But I ask her if we can transfer there earlier at 7 am. But she said no. ICU is still preparing the things that my Mom needs. So, that time I rashly go inside to check the situation. And I saw that my husband continuously pumping the oxygen.
I immediately offered him to take a rest and I will do the pumping. He's so relieved that the nurses and doctors allowed me to go inside. He asked for that a lot of times, but they don't agree coz only 1 can be with the patient inside. So he suffered a lot, no sleep, continuously pumping for almost 4 hours even his hands is already tired. At that time, I thought Mom is unconscious. But while pumping, she moves. That's a relief. I thought she'll die because of intubation. But she's strong.
Not until she starts to cough. Her phlegm blocks the air from the tube, so that is kinda hard to pump. She also wants to remove the tube from her throat, but my husband always tells her not to. Good thing she listens. We know it's painful to have a tube in your throat while coughing. But that's the only way she can be cured. Every pump, the sound of phlegm is heard on the tube. It sounds like the airway is full of phlegm that makes it for her hard to breathe. Also that time, the phlegm was being released little by little. That's a relief for her.
So my husband and I waited for 5 hours to be transferred to the ICU. Good thing I was already inside to help him with pumping.
It's already 9 am when we transferred. And I thought we can no longer be with Mom inside the ICU. But I'm wrong. I and my husband can take care of her inside.
In that ward, she's transferred to a ventilator machine that means we don't need anymore to pump for her oxygen supply.
They also put some tubes on her nose. That's the only way she can eat her food. In that ICU we're also waiting for the result of her swab test. We're not yet sure if she has a covid or not. Also, as a watcher, we similarly need to undergo a swab test. That's another day of waiting. They interviewed us individually. They ask us if we have any symptoms like cough, flu, or anything that can be connected to covid. And they figured out that we also have a fever 2 weeks ago before Mom go to the hospital. My husband started to have a fever, then after him, I also got sick, and transferred it to Mom, and everything inside their house except for my sister-in-law. They suspected us that we're asymptomatic. And I just said, maybe. I'm not sure actually.
So that time, we take care of her, feed her, clean her and give her needs. My husband is still in pain watching my Mom suffered. He always thinks my Mom will soon die. But I always comforted him, tell him that everything will soon be okay. That our Mom is already recovering. Trying to be alive and kicking. He cried every time he saw Mom in pain. I understand him coz I know he suffered a lot too. He's thinking too negatively at that time. But I can see Mom is recovering. She's helping herself to recover. She also demanded some food or whatever she needs. Sometimes we can't understand her, so she asks for some papers and a ballpen, and she wrote everything there.
And being a mother, she always wrote about our needs. She always tells us to have our food or stuff. But that time, she's the one who needs to be focused on. But you know... Mothers are naturally loving.
She also demanded to bring some chicken to the hospital as a reward to the doctors. I appreciate that much, but my father-in-law didn't dare to do it.
Anyways, should I reveal the result of the swab test? Well, it's positive. That means she can no longer be with us. She will be transferred to the other ward which is strictly for covid patients. That time, we make sure to tell Mom that everything will be okay. That she needs to be strong and brave. That we're waiting for her to be cured. And that we love her. That time as they declared the result, she instantly transferred to the ICU main. And we undergo the swab test. We're afraid that we can be positive too as we're too exposed to Mom at that time. So we also transferred to the other room to wait for our result which will be declared after that day. That time is the only time where we spend our time sleeping and resting. The room where we transferred is so vacant.
