Never say this to your child

Hello crazy dreamers 👋 How's your Sunday? I hope that everyone is doing good and able to get the rest that we deserve. As I planned, I used this day to have bond with my family and we're bit busy for preparing for my nephew's birthday this week. Honestly, I'm more excited than to celebrant haha. I don't know why but I don't want celebrate my birthday but I'm too excited to celebrate other's birthday. Am I the only one? Maybe not. I also attend to mass and my article for tonight was inspired by the homily.

As being the parent, what is the most painful word you ever say to your child?

As being a child, what is the most painful word you heard from your parent?

How do you treat your child? Let me rephrase my question, if you become a parent, how will you treat your future child? Parent is the role model of most of the kids. They believe on what you say to them. As a parent , what we say to our child can leave a big impact to them especially if those words is hurtful enough to endure. It leave a mark to the point that they will remember it everytime. And worst it can be a trauma to them because maybe those words is the words that they don't want to hear from you. I understand that being a parent is so stressful but we should still be careful to the words that we utter because it might be the reason why they don't want to share their problems to you. Those words might be the reason why there's a gap between you.

So here is some of the words/phrases that you should never tell to your children;

1."I regret giving birth on you"

For me it is one of the most painful word that you could hear from your parents. It seems that they wish that you should never be born on this world well in fact, since the beginning you didn't ask them to give birth to you. " The world is already cruel for your child, so don't adds fuel on it". Even you are stressed or frustrated, I believe that it still not a good reason to say this phrase. I feel like that when you say this words, it seems that you didn't love your child at all.

2." I am the one who sent you to school"

As a parent, it is our obligation to sent our kids to school because it is their right. Never think your child as an investment for the future. Don't make them feel that they owe you too much. And don't push them to take a course because it is your dream before, let them be . Don't let them to set aside their own desire just to fulfill your dream. Let them to create their own future with their own choices and passion.

3."You're so dramatic"

As I've said on my article before, all feelings are valid. Instead of invalidating your child's feelings, teach them on how to handle their emotions. Also, I believe that it is much better if we say to them that it is okay to cry sometimes especially when the situation so hard to handle. Crying is one of the best pain reliever sometimes. You should be glad if your child open up or tell her problems to oyu because it is a sign that she trust you. The more you say that they are so dramatic, the more they feel that their feelings doesn't matter. The more that they feel that their emotions are not important for you.

4."Why can't you be like your sibling?"

Comparing your child to her siblings can be a cause of jealousy. They might think that even though they did their best, it is not enough because you always see her mistakes and the achievements of your other kids. Your children have different capabilities and abilities so stop comparing them. Instead of making favoritism, we should treat them equally after all that they are all come from you. Sometimes it can also lead to gaps between siblings.

5." You're just a mistake"

Whether you didn't plan to have a child that time, never makes your child feel that they are your mistake. I actually witnessed a parent saying this words to her daughter. She said that she wished that she abort or abandoned her daughter because she is just a mistake. Honestly, I cried out loud especially because that person is very close to me. How can a Mom say those words to her child? After all, her daughter didn't owe anything to her. I guess if she have a choice and she feel that her Mom doesn't want her, I think she choose not to be born. But I'm said because that daughter was already gone. She commits suicide but for another reason. I missed you Jy🥺🥺

6."You should done better than this"

It is the common one that I've heard because honestly even my parents say this to me. I got their point that they want me to be inspired to do better next time but on the other side, I feel like my achievements is not enough for them. They set high expectations for me. I guess among the siblings, they set the biggest pressure and expectations on me and I feel that even they didn't tell me. They are very supported but I also know that I should excel on my acads. I remember before when I got 89 on my card, actually I was so happy because it is the highest grade that my teacher give to her students. My Mom didn't say a word but her reactions is a bit disappointed and it seems that she wants to tell that " I've should done better". I cried that day but I just think that maybe it's their way to motivate me to do well. I know that there's a reason behind that.

I think that I should cut it here or else my tears will never stop falling. There's a lot of experiences and memories that occupied my mind right now. It's not only about my experiences but those moments that I've witnessed degrading their own child in front of others. I know that every parent has their own way to raise and to teach their child about life. I know that at the end they still know what they are doing. There's no perfect parent actually. I guess I also need to make an article about the words that a child should never say to their parents because admit it or not, sometimes we also tend to say hurtful words to our parents. Nevertheless, at the end of the day we should understand each other (your parents or your child). We should still choose the good for the both of us because after all, family is the only person who could support and accept you wholeheartedly.

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I just to say my warmest " Thank you" to every dreamers that still supporting me. Your comments, like and upvote is my motivation to continue my journey here. Thank you also to @Ling01 and @Expelliarmus30 for renewing their sponsorship. Thank you for always showering your love to me. May everyone of us feel that happiness and love that we deserve. Never settle for less dreamers 💚💚