Is she giving us a Sign that she's leaving?

Good evening dreamers!! How's your Tuesday? I hope that you are really okay and you find some time to take a break.

I was so busy the whole day. In fact, I just finished attending on my class today and I only realize that I am with my laptop for 14 hours straight. No taking a break. I have a lot on my plates, we have reporting on Tuesday and I am the one who did the presentation so basically I need to finished it immediately. So if I have no class for that hour, I continue doing that report. I am a little bit annoyed since one of our members still didn't sent the details he want to put on his assigned report. I chatted him and he only replied " I'm sorry, I take a nap earlier and I forgot about that". Really? I remind them about it for how so many times and I actually said it since Sunday. But I don't have a time to rant because I need to finished that. Since I'm busy, I forgot to take a shower haha. I'm still wearing the pyjamas I wear last night and I didn't notice that I attending the class wearing this outfit. It is too late already so I just talk a half-bath right now. I also forget to eat my lunch. I should not doing this because I am aware that it could affect on my health.

Even though that I am busy, I still tend to watched or to notice the actions or doings of the people inside our house. I thought that it was only me but the other peeps also notice the changes on our grandmother behavior. Lately, she became extremely naughty. I believe that it is due of age. She kinda repeatedly what she are saying. We expected that actually. But since yesterday, she became too quiet. Most of the time we see her staring at the nothing. She seems thinking deeply. My Auntie asked her what is the problem but she only respond that there's a light over there. Of course, my Auntie turns to became nervous because of what my grandma said. But she just convince herself that her mother is just joking around.

Earlier while I'm busy typing and doing my report, she went to the room and seems looking for something. I got curious because she is so uneasy and mess all of her clothes. I asked her and she only smile to me while saying " I look for a white dress". For real, I got a goosebump since I am aware that she don't want to wear a white dress at all. For her, she only wear that kind of dress when she gonna leave this world. But I asked her again and she replied that she is going somewhere and she wants to look pleasant. I said to her that I want to accompany to whatever place is that but she said that it is still not the right for me to go to that kind of place. I don't know what to feel. I said to her that she don't have white dress and she needs someone with her when she goes outside. But she only smile at me ," I'm sorry if your grandma is so naughty. Bare with me, don't worry I only have short remaining time". I don't want to overthink but what she says like that. I tell everything to my Auntie and both of us was nervous hearing those words. We are not still ready if ever. I want her to witnessed all of my achievements in life. I am so close to her and I can't imagine losing her again. It is okay with she forgot my name as long as she is still here besides us.

Her children decided to bring her out and they eat to the restaurant. Maybe my grandma is bored inside our house and she wants some relaxation, that is what they are thinking. My grandma is strong. Actually, at the age of 84, she don't have any maintenance or she didn't feel any kind of disease. The last time that she confines on the hospital is 8 years ago I think and it actually a big flex. I feel like that she is more healthy and stronger than me hehe. And I'm still looking for many years with her. I really hope that her actions lately is not a sign that she is leaving. No, she can't now. Gosh, thinking about that really messed up mind. I'm praying for a longer life for her.

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That's all for this night. Definitely after this, I will go back to my laptop again to settled everything including my report. For sure, my eye bags will get bigger and bigger. But that is expected since I have a dreams that still need to chase. Have a good night sleep everyone.