I'm your Sister after All

Having a sister who fully understand you is one of the most precious gift that a person could have. It seems that you found a best friend and an instant mother in one. A person who is always there for us to wipe our tears. That one that we can't rid to our life because until the end, we came back to them because she is part of our family, our home.

I have a younger sister, Kaye. Since we are a kid, we treat each other as bestfriend. Just like other siblings we are not perfect , we tend to misunderstand each other. Sometimes we even fight and shout each other but I don't want her to be hurt by other. Yes, I raise voice to her sometimes but I don't want her to suffered because of others. I will protect her on those people who wanted to harm her. She is now 18 years old and all good moments turns into memories. Unlike before that we always find time to hang out now we seldom see each other. Before we used to sleep together but now it seems that we avoid each other's presence. Or let me correct, she avoids me. I missed my sister who used to be with me through ups and downs. I missed her shouting my name when I got home and asking for some pasalubong. She changed a lot or maybe she's right when she said that I've changed.

3 years ago, our parents died because of car accident. That time ,I feel like that I should carry all of their responsibilities. We used to be four but now, we are only have each other's arm. Only the two of us. I even stopped on my studies to find a job in order to support our daily living. I find a stable job and a part-time just to send her to a prestigious school. I'm a part-time cashier in the morning and a call center agent in the evening. I can't feel any tiredness because I believe that my sacrifice is worth it because it is all for my beloved sister. I didn't regret on the decisions that I've made especially that I saw how she gradually achieve her dreams. But on the other hand I feel like that now, I'm not belong on that dreams. I feel that she is happy without me.

It was past 3AM when I saw her arriving at our house. I just came home from work . I grab her hands and asked her " Kaye, where you go at this hour? It's already morning". She's drank and wasted , she can't even walked properly. I asked her again then she shouted at me

" Why you always asking me that? I'm not a minor anymore, I know what I'm doing".

" I'm just worried. You know that it is not safe to hang around at this hour. What if something bad happened to you?"

" Who cares? I don't care on that " What ifs" you have in mind. It's your choice to be my guardian right? So bare with it but let me remind you that you're not my parents. You're just a sister who's acting like my mother. Ohh wait, please don't forget this one also. Please don't intervene on my decisions and choices in life. I'm not the sister you have before, I've grown enough and I guess I don't need you at all".

My whole body froze after what I heard the words she uttered. I want to chase her but I can't. I don't know what wrong I did to her? All I know is to give her needs and desire to the point that nothing left to me. Maybe I'm became too much, I give too much love to her to the point that I didn't left something for myself.

After that night, I tried to talk to her again but she refuse. I want to say sorry to her but she ignores me. She only give me a little paper and say " You want to be my mother right? So pay the debt I have. And I forget to say to you that I'm no longer attend to school. I used the money you give to me not for my tuition fee but I used them to hang out with my friends. You can called me brat because....

I can't stop myself but to slap her. She was surprise on what I did even me, I was so surprised. It's really painful to know that all of your hard work and sacrifice is not enough to your sister.

" You slap me? I'm right, you also have a bad temper".

I replied " Do you think I only get that money easily? Do you think that I don't love you because I always commenting on your actions. I'm just worried that's why. I'm so scared that I'll lose you too. Kaye, I know that you can't still move on about what happened to Mom and Dad. I'm also in pain but I choose to fight for you so please understand me also. If you can't treat me as your older sister, respect me as a person at least. "

She run away to our house and until now, even her shadow didn't appear. I look at the paper she give to me and I almost fainted when I saw that she have a 300,000 debt and need to pay before the end of the month. I also called the school to verified if she say a fact earlier and according to the school, Kaye drop out since last year. I want to shout so loudly but instead of doing it , I look at my laptop and search for another job that I can applied in order to paid her debts. I don't want her to be in jailed because of this. I want to do something for her.

Kaye's POV

Since that day, I've never showed up to her again. But I guess that she also didn't look at me at all. Maybe she is also okay without me in her life. Maybe she is also tired understanding me. Honestly, I don't want to be like to her but I don't want to be burden to her. By running away from her is the only thing that I think to be the best decision.I don't want her to worked so hard because of my irresponsibility and debts. I want to punished myself and paid that debts with my own tears and blood. I tried to find a job but no one's willing to hire me especially when they found out that I am a school dropout and a gambler before. It's not easy as I've thought. The time is running, I only have 2 weeks in order to pay that debts but unfortunately I can't still find a job. I don't want also to be in jailed.

Two weeks had passed and I can't accumulate 300,000 so I decided to surrender myself. I guess that it is my karma. Maybe it's the time that I should face my consequences and punishment. I go to the loan shark to say that I don't have the money. When I go there, the man in charge said that someone already paid my debts. He even said " You're lucky having that kind of sister." Until the end, she didn't let me to suffer. I rushed to go back to our house. I want to say thank you for once. She always save me from the most difficult times but I always ignores her. Now, I want to sincerely apologize to her. But wait , what's happening here? When I arrived at our house, I saw a lot of people. There's so many light and there's a white rectangle box. My whole body was shaking because I have a doubt until they noticed that I'm here. My Auntie goes near me and asked " Kaye, where did you go? Your sister wait for you until the last breath she have but you never come. Kaye, your sister is gone".

I can't believe to what she said so I checked and there's my sister lying and wearing a white dress. She is gone, she leaves me for real. I asked my Auntie what happened to her and she said that since last month my sister almost work 24/7. She needs to save 300,000 to pay my debts. She even asked helped to my Aunties in order to accumulate that amount. And because she can't get a chance to take a rest and proper sleep, she get sleep and her body can't recover from the tiredness she felt.

" Ate, I'm sorry it's my fault. Please wake up don't leave me. I can't leave without you. " I said sorry for a million times but it can't do anything. It can't be back my sister's life. I should be the one who is lying there. I should be the one who suffered like that.

Dear Kaye,

While reading this, maybe I'm already away from you. Sorry if you feel like that I control your life. I just don't want you to feel the cruelty that I've suffered since our parents died. I'm sorry if I'm just your sister and if I can't give our parent's life. Don't worry if I saw them again, I will whisper to them that visit and hug you always. You did nothing wrong, you just also been hurt that's why. Don't cry okay? So behave yourself because I'm no longer at your side. I know that you can overcome all because just like me, you're a fighter. Don't forget that I will always love you.

I'm your sister after all, so you should not be guilty. It's my will to give the best thing for you. It's all my pure and genuine love for you. Try to build your happiness without me.

-Your sister

Greetings!!

Heya dreamers of read cash universe. How's your weekend? I hope that despite on the struggles you've encountered in life, you never forget to take a rest. And also don't forget to talked to God and thanking Him for giving another chance to live. 💕

I was away yesterday because I need to accompany my cousin on her check up and also I'm busy doing some errands. And when I got home, I tried to finished my activities to be submitted next week and revise some parts of our thesis paper. All in all, my yesterday is really productive.

~~~~~~~~

Wanna appreciate my sponsors and to my readers who always find time to show their support to me. I love you as always.❣️