I'm early yet still too late

"What happened to our relationship?"

That eyes of yours seems different to the eyes that stole my heart. Unlike before that I can feel the warm through looking at it now I can say that it is cold as the morning breeze. We are not so excited to see each other again. It seems that the lovers gradually turns into strangers again. I asked myself if I really took advantage of you or you are just tired to understand me anymore. Maybe I'm too focused on my career to the point that I sacrifice our relationship. I'm guilty because I know that I protect my reputation than caring about you. It's just that I want to build the best future for us. But how can we go to that future if we already separate ways in the present?

Silence. It is the only thing that you can offer to me. I asked you so many times if I am still the one? But you just keep silent. I want to believe that silence means yes but your actions is opposite from it. I can no longer feel that I'm still have you. I can't remember the last time that we talked about us. Is it really the end for us? The end that can't justify through words?

I thought that by building my dream, pursuing my dreams can make her happy. I thought that she silently supporting and applaud to my achievements in life because to be honest I build this dreams for us but I can't believe that you silently thinking on how you will gonna broke up with me. I'm so early to think about our future but I'm too late to realize that you didn't need any of that because you only want me. My time. My presence. My love. But I didn't able to give it to you because I'm too busy creating our supposed to be future.

I'm too early for pressuring her about those stuffs but I'm still too late on getting her back in my arms. I thought that my giving those things, she can feel my sincerity and love to her. Through that way, I thought that I loving her better than anyone else but hard to admit that I failed to protect my girl. It seems that I am the King who only controls everything and neglect about my Queen's feelings. I failed to be a man. I want to keep her until the last breath I have on this world but she already cut the ties who connect between us. For real, I know that I took her for granted.

The audacity within my mind that she will not leave me but look at we now, I'm begging her to comeback but she just pushing me to go away from her life. I'm still saying a lot of words but my mouth seems so tired because I already know that it will just be pointless. Even I talked 24/7 in front of her if she is not willing to listen anymore, it would be useless. I'm too early to say "I love you" to her to the point that I'm too late on realizing that I should also say " Sorry" for not being the best man that she dream about. I'm just wondering right now if she still thinking about me? Is she also getting hurt when she choose to end what we have? Or just like others, is she already move on while there's still " Us"? I'm so frustrated to think about it but one thing is for sure, she is no longer mine and she is completely happy without me in her life. She's free while I'm here suffocating myself about the negative thoughts that could happen when I face the life without her besides me. But self, who are you to utter that word? Remember, you choose your career over your lover? You choose the money over the girl who loves you unconditionally. Now that she's tired, you can't do anything to make her stay but watching her stepping away from you. Let her go.

While mumbling, I realize that people is right when they say that you can only appreciate the existence of it when it is not already slipping on your hands. I couldn't deny that she is a lot better than those girls I've met before but I'm just an id*ot for not being the better man for her. I asked myself if I really deserve this kind of ending? Maybe. Who knows right? Also, maybe it's my karma. But I wished her well. I hope that the next man that she will give her heart, is a kind of man that could appreciate and give the time that I couldn't give to her. May he protect the girl that I failed to protect. Maybe I'm too early to think about it but I'm still too late to did it before. I will not say "Goodbye" to her because I believe that we will meet each other again. The only difference is, she's holding someone's hand instead of mine.

Greetings!!

Good evening dreamers!! How's everyone here especially those who got affected by typhoon Agaton? I watched on the news and it's so sad seeing those people who suffered again because of another calamity. Warmest hugs and prayers to the people who experiencing nightmare again.So let's pray for their safety especially to our fellows in Visayas.

On the other hand, I'm not feeling well since I got my booster shot earlier. The one who injected me seems so mad. She injected me twice because according to her, there's still a vaccine on the bottle. It is really pain and I just notice when I got home that she just put the cotton not on the injected part and worst it's bleeding. My left arms feels numb as of the moment and my body feel a bit chill because of it. I can still feel the pangigigil ni Ateng nagturok kanina. I just wished that there's no worst side effects of it.