I just hope that I could treat my Mom to a nice Meal

Good evening dreamers!! How are you today? I hope that you are doing fine both physically and mentally. Don't let stress controlled you. As much as possible try to get out from it and still choose to think positive. Also, relax yourself and get a break that you deserve. You've done a great job today no matter how small or big your progress.

"I don't want that food. Yuck, you know that I didn't eat gulay but why do you always luto that? "

"Baby you need that because it is good for your health".

" I said I don't like that". I shout to my Mom and throw tantrums to her. I really hate her because she push me to eat the foods that I don't like.

"I'm sorry baby, Mom have don't money to buy delicious food. I'm sorry". I saw Mom teary eyed but I don't care. Who told her to cook this kind of food right? I don't believe that she don't have money, she just so selfish to me.

"I want to eat in Jollibee. I don't want that kind of pagkain. Trashy".

"But..."

" I hate you , I hate you. You don't love me at all Mom".

I just crying and go to my room. I thought she would follow to me but she didn't. I saw her going to our neighbor and after an hour, she came back and said " Okay baby, dress up and we will go to Jollibee. I'll treat you". Look she have money but she always deny that she don't have. She just want me to get mad at first hayst. That events always happened when I was a kid. I always throw tantrums to get what I want especially to eat the foods that I want. It is very effective since Mom always make a way to buy me those foods. But everytime that we went to a restaurant, I notice that I am only the one who always eat and she always said she is full even though she didn't eat anything. As a kid I just let it pass, I thought that she just don't want to eat with me.

One time, Mom thought I am already sleeping so she immediately go down. I secretly following her and I surprise to what I saw. She is eating the foods that she prepared for me this morning but I refuse to eat. She is silently eating while crying. When she finished eating, she went to our neighbor again. From that moment, I saw how my Mom clean the house. Our neighbor hurt my Mom because she didn't understand what she is saying. But my Mom still doing and finished her job there. I even hear her saying to herself " It's okay self, have patience. This is for your daughter." All this time, I thought that she always went there to have chitchat but I don't know that she did this for me. After doing her job, our neighbor give the money to her. My Mom gladly accept it while saying " Thank you Ma'am , I can treat my daughter to a nice meal again because of this money". My Mom is right, she don't have money but she make a way to have money just to give me with a nice meal. Mom endure all of those painful words and bruises just to give what I want. She is not selfish but I am the one.

Remembering those tantrums and those moment that I witnessed that day makes me blame myself. I want to blame myself for not appreciating all my Mom's efforts. She woke up early just to cooked for my foods but I just refuse to eat and throw tantrums to her. I'm too selfish for only think a way on how to get what I desire. I didn't think about my Mom. I didn't realize that everytime she said that she is full, is a hungry tummy of hers. I don't notice that she suffered a lot because of me. Why it's too late before I know about that. Maybe if I became a considerate daughter, she will never experienced that cruelty. Maybe she is still preparing for my foods. Maybe, we can have a perfect dinner together now. But I became too shallowed and self-centered. Regrets is always in the ending.

What happened to my Mom? She died because of me. Even I know her job which is to clean my neighbors house, I still pushing her to do it since I want to eat delicious foods. She please me and said that she don't have money on her pocket. I got mad on her and said that she should find a way to buy me that food. She immediately go to our neighbor to asked for advance payment so she could treat me. She didn't saw her bosses but she saw a money on the table. She don't want to stole it but she saw me crying because I want to buy the foods. Without hesitation she get the money but unfortunately her male boss saw her. He is drunk that time and he immensely punch and stabbed my Mom. All I remember is my Mom is lying on my bed with a bloody body. She also tried to give the money to me and said " Go, have a nice meal Baby. Mom is full ". I just wished that I could treat her to a nice meal before she bid her goodbye to me. It's all my fault and I know that guilt and regrets will hunt me forever.

I want to forget that happenings so I push myself to woke up from that dream. I tried to escape on that scene but I can't. So it must be real right? I want to woke up so that I could treat my Mom to a nice meal. But it is not a dream nor a reality. It is only an imagination of the author haha. I create this article while looking at the Chickenjoy in front of me and wondering if my Auntie get tired of cooking foods for us haha. I also feel sad on what the outcome of this article. I hope that it will never happened it reality and I hope that every child is not too hard on their parents especially to their Mom. Appreciate all the foods that they prepared for you. Appreciate while they are still doing such thing and breathing besides you. And for all the Mom, hats off for your dedication on taking care of us. On behalf of your kiddos, It's been a honor to have a Mom like you.

I think that's for tonight's blog. Sorry if it somehow messy, my mind is just like that right now haha. Thank you for always dropping by here. Have a great night ahead!