How's your Mental Health so far?

I've been so inactive here these past few days. I don't know why but it seems that I'm so exhausted always. At night, I only have 2-3 hours of sleep even I push myself to still sleep , my mind can't cooperate and it's continue to overthink too much. Overthinking slowly kill my energy. But despite on that, I'm still glad that I can able to survive. Most of my day will allotted to my school hours (7:30 AM-5:00PM) then I need to tutored my nephew during 8:00-9:00 PM and for the remaining hours is for doing my activities. Honestly, I rant so much until now but I urge myself to continue because I have a dream in life.

It was supposed to be the University Week of our university but instead of rest day or enjoyment week, our professors gives us a tons of activities and quizzes. They always said that " Nasa bahay lang naman kayo kaya marami kayong oras para gumawa ng activities at mag-review. ( You are just at home, so you have so much time to do that activities and to review). They seems to forget that we are also doing some responsibilities here inside the house. But of course we still do that tons of activities because we also know that it's our duty as a student.

Earlier , one of my professor asked us " How's your Mental Health so far?" and I can't believe on what my classmates shared to us. My professor said that this time we should treat him as our bestfriend and we our open to tell everything. He called me first so I said all of my doubts and rants in life. I said that if I can rate my mental health, it's obviously 4/10. I can't no longer identify what's happening on me. Also, the time when I don't know if I should continue or not and the moment that my mind can't let me to sleep peacefully. He gives me an advice and I will keep in mind. After me, is one of my classmates who cried in front of us. He said that he can't do that anymore and he decided to drop out this semester. Why? It's because he can't balance his work-study life. His mental health is really affected because of this decision. He wants to pursue his study but he is also the breadwinner of the family so he choose to provide to his family than to continue living in his dream. But the most shocking part is when one of my classmate share that she sometimes have suicidal thoughts in her mind. She can't no longer know how to handle her anxiety and the expectations of her family. She said " It seems that I only live to do what they want me to do. I feel like I'm inside on the cage ,no freedom,no peace". All of us was surprised on that because we know her as a jolly one. She is the most talkative and energy everytime we have an online class. I salute her for being that strong woman. I can feel her too somehow. My surroundings tend to have high expectations , pressure because they thought I'm so smart even I'm not but I just let that out. Unlike before I'm not that too affected to what they say because I able to learn living on my own standard. I'm also coping up this through saying 3 positive words about me everyday and remind myself that I'm almost there. I hope that she can also able do that soon.

My professor share his life also. He said that he's not okay now because his family tested positive for Covid not once, not twice but thrice. Yes, they experience being Covid positive for three times. They don't know what to do but they still hold to the saying " God will heal all the pain". Just like him,he wants us to hold on the faith and also ensure that we allotted time for our mental health.

I asked their permission before writing all of it here and they said it's fine. I didn't share it to you for nothing but to remind all of you that we should always show our empathy to everyone that we interact because we don't know his /her behinds those life. All of us hides different wounds inside of us. We didn't know that the most jolly one can be the most broken one. The most quiet one can be the one who wants to voice out all of her feelings /rants. The most friendly one might be the one who was looking for someone who can understand him. Allotting 1-3 minutes to listen to them is not that much so we should ensure that we show our support to someone who experiencing mental breakdown. Listen if you can.

I want to asked you now, " If you are going to rate, how's your Mental Health so far?" Are you satisfied on what about that now? But if you are not , please choose to continue and if you can't handle anymore, ask for someone's who can definitely listen to you. I believe that we will overcome all of this doubts, pains and struggles but we need to be courageous enough to do so. Just hang on there dreamers.